When You Can’t Bring Mohammed To The Patient

, , , | Right | March 5, 2018

(I work for a group practice that has four different surgeries and almost twenty doctors, most of them foreign, and quite a few from India and Pakistan. Because many of our doctors have names that are nigh-unpronounceable for the very un-diverse, rural area I live in, many doctors are cool with patients calling them by their first names. However, that leads to this happening far too often:)

Patient: “Hello, I’d like to make an appointment, please.”

Me: “Sure. Do you have any particular doctor you would like to see?”

Patient: “Yeah, I usually see doctor… Mohammed?”

Me: “We have three doctors by that name. Which one would you like to see? We have [lists off the surnames].”

Patient: “Oh… I think it’s the Asian one?”

(Usually I end up giving them a random one, and I’ve never heard a complaint yet!)

The One Tax You Were Happy To Pay

, , , , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(My cousin and his family are at a restaurant they’ve visited before. My cousin’s wife is a nurse. Their young daughter is deathly allergic to nuts and some legumes, including peanuts, so the cousin’s wife carefully vets any place they eat for allergy compliance. This restaurant has always passed with flying colors, so she’s not terribly worried.)

Server: *turning to the daughter* “And what would you like, sweetie?”

Daughter: *orders her food* “And can I have a chocolate shake, please? I’m allergic to nuts and peanuts, so can you make sure it’s safe?”

Server: “Of course!” *writes “NO NUTS” and underlines it*

Daughter: “Thank you!”

(A while later, the food comes.)

Daughter: “Mom, can you please hand me a spoon?”

Wife: “Sure!” *grabs a spoon, then swipes a bit of the chocolate shake* “Food tax!”

(She takes the bite, and instantly, her eyes go wide. Before she can even swallow, she snatches the shake away from her daughter and starts waving frantically for their server.)

Server: “What’s the matter?”

Wife: “This has peanut butter in it!”

Server: “What?! Are you sure?”

Wife: “It’s loaded! Smell it yourself!”

(The server took a whiff, then grabbed the shake and ran to get her manager. The manager apologized frantically, and then went to find the source of the mix-up. It turns out, the guy making the shake had misread, “NO NUTS,” as, “ADD NUTS,” and threw some peanut butter in. He was reprimanded, the shake was remade following allergy protocols, and the little girl got her shake, but not until after her mother had tested that one, too. She never steals bites of her children’s desserts, but, for some reason, she did that day. And we’re all very grateful.)

A Supersized Delayed Realization

, , , , , | Right | March 3, 2018

(I’m the dumb customer in this story. It’s 2015 and I order a combo meal at a fast food restaurant known for “supersizing” its meals; it’s such a part of this restaurant’s identity that a documentary was once made that incorporates this phrase in the title. I eat here occasionally, and though I’ve never before asked to have my combo supersized, I’m especially craving a lot of nice salty fries on this day, so I go for it.)

Me: “A number one combo, no pickles, please.”

Cashier: “What size?”

Me: “Supersized, please.”

Cashier: “Large?”

Me: “No, supersized.”

Cashier: “You mean large?”

Me: “Uh, supersized, please. The largest.”

Cashier: “Oh, a large, then.”

Me: *rather puzzled at the resistance to what I think is a pretty easy and common request* “Can’t you supersize it?”

Cashier: “Uh, no. I don’t think we don’t do that, anymore. Large is the largest size.”

Me: “Ohhhhkaaaay…”

(After lunch, I looked it up online and found that this fast food chain phased out its supersized option to much fanfare in 2004 — 11 YEARS AGO. I somehow went a decade without ever noticing this.)

 

Landing A Job Causes Someone Else To Crash

, , , , , , , | Working | March 2, 2018

(I am a teenager fresh out of school. I need some money but don’t have much work experience, so I apply for several retail and entry-level jobs. I get a few interviews, including one at a well-known retail chain, [Store]. The interview goes well, and I am told I’ll hear from them within the week. In the meantime, I continue going on interviews, and about two weeks later I accept a job in another field. Two full months after my interview at [Store], I get the following phone call:)

HR Representative: “Hi, this is [HR Representative] from [Store], calling for [My Name]. We just wanted to let you know that your first shift is on Monday, so we need you to come in and fill out some paperwork before then.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s been so long since the interview, and I hadn’t heard anything, so I accepted another position. I appreciate your call, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to work with you.”

HR Representative: “But you filled out an application and said you wanted a job.”

Me: “Yes, I did. But my interview was two months ago, and no one from [Store] ever contacted me to offer me a job, or to tell me that I was in line for one. Your call is the first contact I’ve had. I applied several places and have accepted a position in another field. I really needed a job, you see, so I took one when it was offered.”

HR Representative: “Well, we’re really short-staffed, so we need you to start on Monday.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I really can’t. The job I’ve accepted is full-time, Monday to Friday, so I really wouldn’t be available for anything beyond occasional part-time work.”

HR Representative: “But we need you on Monday.”

Me: *pause* “…and I’m very sorry, but I am not available.”

HR Representative: “You shouldn’t lie on your application. If you say you want a job, you should take it when it’s offered.”

Me: “That’s exactly what I did.”

 


Do you hate bad behavior? Then you're going to love our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

Surely They’re Toying With You?

, , , , , | Right | March 2, 2018

(This has happened multiple times as I finish ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, that’s it.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total].”

(The customer then points at a child holding a toy, on the other side of the store, who in no way has displayed any connection to the customer until just this moment.)

Customer: “Did you get his toy?”

Me: “No. Please bring it up here and I’ll ring it up.”

Page 67/164First...6566676869...Last
« Previous
Next »