Nothing’s Heavier Than The Weight Of Grandma’s Expectations

, , , , , , , | Related | May 29, 2021

My boyfriend and I have just gotten engaged. We have told our immediate family, and now my fiancé is calling his grandmother. I have met her twice, and she seemed nice but a bit odd. 

Fiancé: “[My Name] and I are engaged!”

Grandma: *Very long pause* “Well, you both need to lay off the sugar.”

My fiancé is overweight but he’s the least overweight member of his family.

Fiancé: “Yes, Grandma. We are thinking of June of next year for the wedding, so fourteen months from now. That way there’s—”

Grandma: “Tell that girl to lay off the sugar or she’ll get the beetus like you!”

My fiancé was recently diagnosed as type-two diabetic. I have been type-one diabetic for decades.

Fiancé: “Okay, Grandma. Is [Cousin] at your house? Can you hand the phone to him if he is?”

Grandma: “If you lay off the sugar now, you might look halfway okay by the wedding if it’s in two months.”

Fiancé: “It’s June of next year, not this June.”

Grandma: “I’ll let my pastor know to expect your call. He’s pretty busy this June, though.”

Fiancé: “It’s in a year, Grandma, at our church.”

His grandmother then hung up the phone. Apparently, she then called my fiancé’s sister to complain about how overweight both of us are and how it would ruin wedding pictures. Since my fiancé’s sister was 200 pounds overweight at the time, she was less than sympathetic!

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Since When Are Nurses Supposed To Care About Your Health?

, , , | Healthy | May 29, 2021

I’m with my baby at the emergency room.

Nurse: “Would you like anything to drink?”

Me: “Yes, please. I would like a hot chocolate.”

A bit later, the nurse returns with a large cup and hands it to me. 

Nurse: “Here! I brought you a fresh strawberry mango smoothie. Much better than that sewer drink.”

Me: “Oh, uh, thank you, but no, thank you. I—”

Nurse: “Nonsense! This is good for you with lots of vitamins. The doctor will be here soon. Tataaa!”

And she left the room. I’m allergic to fruit.

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The Mystery Of The Missing Till

, , , , | Working | CREDIT: thepatricianswife | May 28, 2021

I was the front-end opener one morning, and during the process of counting and reconciling the tills from the day before, I noticed that the second pharmacy drawer wasn’t in the safe. This was weird, but not alarmingly weird, as it had occasionally been left in the pharmacy overnight — and obviously that gets locked up tight, so no real worry on that front — and I figured that was what had happened this time.

The pharmacy manager came in and I handed her the one till.

Me: “I think they left the other in the pharmacy last night—”

But before I finished, she gave me a weird look and cut me off.

Manager: “No, I was the closer last night. I brought the till up and handed it directly to our [Store Director].”

Baffled, I wondered where on earth he could have possibly put it and started checking cabinets behind the desk. Lo and behold, in the third one, I found the missing till. Bear in mind, this was not a locked cabinet. We also stored everyday tools in there, so it was definitely opened a lot.

I quickly counted the till, handed it over, and then, amused as h***, grabbed refunds and went to go find [Store Director] in his office, since they had to be signed anyway and I was so not missing the chance to give him s*** for this. The best thing about this store director was that he was very much in favor of good-natured ribbing. At one point during the time we worked together, I told him he was a troll. He didn’t know what that meant, not being terribly Internet-savvy, but after I explained, he looked at me and nodded and agreed, “Yeah. That’s fair.”

When I got to his office, I handed over the refunds, he signed them, we chatted amiably, and then I said:

Me: “So, I found the pharmacy till in an interesting place this morning…”

And the look on his face immediately changed from its normal placidity to an expression that clearly said, “Oh, f***.”

Apparently, they had been so slammed and understaffed the night before that he was up front helping out for a good chunk of time, and in a hurry, he just stashed it — hidden, at least — and intended to come back to it later, but he completely forgot.

Store Director: “Oh, God, I would be so pissed if anyone else did that. I’m going to have to write myself up.”

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Triple-A Ungrateful

, , , , | Right | May 28, 2021

I work as a supervisor for roadside assistance. I get an escalation sent to me because a lady wants us to use her membership to give her husband service, which is not covered. I see that she has been a member with us since 1989, so I grant a one-time exception to allow her husband to receive service.

Me: “May I have his first and last name, as well as a number to keep in contact with him in case the driver needs to talk to him? All your husband needs to do is be present when the driver arrives and have his photo ID ready.”

At first, the caller is very happy and grateful for me helping her.

Me: “If your husband needs service through us again, he will have to become a member to use the road service.”

Caller: *Suddenly offended* “How dare you?! How dare you assume that my husband needed the service?! It’s my card and my car; what makes you think he needed the service?!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s part of the policy that you agreed to when you became a member that you must be present at the time of service. All I was saying was that if you need service, you must be present. If your husband does, he would have to be a member.”

Caller: *Yelling* “How dare you repeat yourself?! I was the one needing service, not my husband. You people do nothing to help me, ever! Why do I even deal with this?!”

Me: “I did just grant you an exception for a service that isn’t covered.”

She goes quiet for about five seconds.

Caller: “Oh, f*** you.” *Click*

A few hours later, I receive another escalation from the same lady asking why her call was canceled. It turns out that the driver arrived and her husband was nowhere to be found. They tried to call him, and he answered and told the driver:

Caller’s Husband: “Oh, I didn’t know I needed to be there.”

When I tell her what happened, she just mumbles:

Caller: “I married a f****** idiot.”

Then she hung up on me again!

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A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 11

, , , , , | Working | May 28, 2021

My husband got home two weeks ago from spending two months in the hospital. We gave the hospital and doctor’s office our home phone number instead of his cell phone. He has a dozen follow-up appointments scheduled with many different departments, not to mention four different departments of in-home nurses calling and coming all throughout the week. Our phone is ringing off the hook. To let him rest as much as possible, I handle all the calls and scheduling of appointments.

He receives this call on his cell phone, which is listed as the non-primary number.

Husband: “Hello?”

The lady speaks without any introduction or greeting or anything.

Lady: “You want to cancel your appointment?”

Husband: “What?”

Lady: “You want to cancel your appointment?”

Husband: “Who is calling? Which appointment?”

Lady: “This is [Doctor]’s office.”

He gets me on the phone and she repeats which office she’s calling from. Unfortunately, my husband has eight new doctors that want follow-ups, and in the chaos, I didn’t grab my notes. It takes five minutes of me asking what department this doctor is in and me guessing upcoming appointments I have memorized for her to answer.

Lady: “I am with [department]. So, you want to cancel tomorrow’s appointment?”

Me: “No! We need this appointment! Why would we want to cancel?”

Lady: “We received a voicemail from you.”

It finally clicks. Two weeks ago, when my husband was first released, I called this office to MOVE the appointment. I left a detailed message repeating that, if possible, we wanted to move it one day, when we’ll be coming back to that same building for another appointment. I left my name and my number. 

Me: “No. I left a message two weeks ago. After not getting a call back, I called again. This is already resolved.”

Lady: “You want to cancel?”

Me: “No! We wanted to move it to Wednesday because we’ll already be in [building] that day, but the doctor isn’t there Wednesday.”

Lady: “We could move it to Thursday.”

Me: “That doesn’t help because we’ll be there on Wednesday. We’ll keep this appointment.”

Lady: “What about next week?”

Around and around and around we went for five more minutes until I could convince her that this was already resolved. And for those wondering, my husband is doing great!

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 10
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 9
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 8
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 7
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 6

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