They Need To Adjust Their Adjusters

, , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(We’ve recently had the worst hailstorm in years in our area, with pieces of hail golf-ball-sized and bigger. Because our house doesn’t have a garage, all three of our vehicles — two personal and my husband’s work car — look like someone took a hammer to them. I call the next business day to file a claim with our insurance agency, and a couple days later I get this call from the local adjuster.)

Me: “Hello?”

Adjuster: *in an overly cheery voice* “Hi, is this [My Name]? This is [Adjuster] from [Insurance Company] calling about your vehicle damage claim.”

Me: “Yes, thank you for calling me back.”

Adjuster: “Sure! We’d love to get you in to our drive-through estimate center, so let’s get you on the schedule.”

Me: “Uh, well, doesn’t it say on the claim that all three of our cars were damaged?”

Adjuster: “Yes! Okay, let’s get you scheduled.”

Me: “It will be difficult to bring all three cars in at once without help, since there are two of us. We might be able to get a friend to help on Saturday.”

Adjuster: “Oh, we only do damage estimates on weekdays from eight am to five pm!”

Me: “Right… Well, my husband is off on Fridays, but I only get a half-hour lunch break and wouldn’t have time to drive in from my office and back for the estimate. Also, we’d still need to get a friend to drive the third car if you insist on seeing all three of them at once.”

Adjuster: “Yes, we’d like to see them all at the same appointment. The drive-through claim center is really the fastest way to get an estimate.”

Me: “Understood. However, there’s still the problem of three cars and only one person who is for sure available to drive. Don’t you have a field agent who can come to our house?”

Adjuster: “Yes… We can send a field agent. But the drive-through center is much faster!”

Me: “Yeah… We’d still need the field agent. On a Friday, so my husband can be here.”

Adjuster: “It will take longer!”

Me: “That’s fine. Please assign us to a field agent.”

Adjuster: *pauses* “All right! I’ve put you on the list for a field agent to call you. It may take a couple of days; the drive-through center is really much faster.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Adjuster: *STILL cheery* “I guess now you can forget this conversation even happened!” *click*

Me: “No… I don’t think I can.”

When You Can’t Bring Mohammed To The Patient

, , , | Right | March 5, 2018

(I work for a group practice that has four different surgeries and almost twenty doctors, most of them foreign, and quite a few from India and Pakistan. Because many of our doctors have names that are nigh-unpronounceable for the very un-diverse, rural area I live in, many doctors are cool with patients calling them by their first names. However, that leads to this happening far too often:)

Patient: “Hello, I’d like to make an appointment, please.”

Me: “Sure. Do you have any particular doctor you would like to see?”

Patient: “Yeah, I usually see doctor… Mohammed?”

Me: “We have three doctors by that name. Which one would you like to see? We have [lists off the surnames].”

Patient: “Oh… I think it’s the Asian one?”

(Usually I end up giving them a random one, and I’ve never heard a complaint yet!)

The One Tax You Were Happy To Pay

, , , , , | Working | March 5, 2018

(My cousin and his family are at a restaurant they’ve visited before. My cousin’s wife is a nurse. Their young daughter is deathly allergic to nuts and some legumes, including peanuts, so the cousin’s wife carefully vets any place they eat for allergy compliance. This restaurant has always passed with flying colors, so she’s not terribly worried.)

Server: *turning to the daughter* “And what would you like, sweetie?”

Daughter: *orders her food* “And can I have a chocolate shake, please? I’m allergic to nuts and peanuts, so can you make sure it’s safe?”

Server: “Of course!” *writes “NO NUTS” and underlines it*

Daughter: “Thank you!”

(A while later, the food comes.)

Daughter: “Mom, can you please hand me a spoon?”

Wife: “Sure!” *grabs a spoon, then swipes a bit of the chocolate shake* “Food tax!”

(She takes the bite, and instantly, her eyes go wide. Before she can even swallow, she snatches the shake away from her daughter and starts waving frantically for their server.)

Server: “What’s the matter?”

Wife: “This has peanut butter in it!”

Server: “What?! Are you sure?”

Wife: “It’s loaded! Smell it yourself!”

(The server took a whiff, then grabbed the shake and ran to get her manager. The manager apologized frantically, and then went to find the source of the mix-up. It turns out, the guy making the shake had misread, “NO NUTS,” as, “ADD NUTS,” and threw some peanut butter in. He was reprimanded, the shake was remade following allergy protocols, and the little girl got her shake, but not until after her mother had tested that one, too. She never steals bites of her children’s desserts, but, for some reason, she did that day. And we’re all very grateful.)

A Supersized Delayed Realization

, , , , , | Right | March 3, 2018

(I’m the dumb customer in this story. It’s 2015 and I order a combo meal at a fast food restaurant known for “supersizing” its meals; it’s such a part of this restaurant’s identity that a documentary was once made that incorporates this phrase in the title. I eat here occasionally, and though I’ve never before asked to have my combo supersized, I’m especially craving a lot of nice salty fries on this day, so I go for it.)

Me: “A number one combo, no pickles, please.”

Cashier: “What size?”

Me: “Supersized, please.”

Cashier: “Large?”

Me: “No, supersized.”

Cashier: “You mean large?”

Me: “Uh, supersized, please. The largest.”

Cashier: “Oh, a large, then.”

Me: *rather puzzled at the resistance to what I think is a pretty easy and common request* “Can’t you supersize it?”

Cashier: “Uh, no. I don’t think we don’t do that, anymore. Large is the largest size.”

Me: “Ohhhhkaaaay…”

(After lunch, I looked it up online and found that this fast food chain phased out its supersized option to much fanfare in 2004 — 11 YEARS AGO. I somehow went a decade without ever noticing this.)


Landing A Job Causes Someone Else To Crash

, , , , , , , | Working | March 2, 2018

(I am a teenager fresh out of school. I need some money but don’t have much work experience, so I apply for several retail and entry-level jobs. I get a few interviews, including one at a well-known retail chain, [Store]. The interview goes well, and I am told I’ll hear from them within the week. In the meantime, I continue going on interviews, and about two weeks later I accept a job in another field. Two full months after my interview at [Store], I get the following phone call:)

HR Representative: “Hi, this is [HR Representative] from [Store], calling for [My Name]. We just wanted to let you know that your first shift is on Monday, so we need you to come in and fill out some paperwork before then.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s been so long since the interview, and I hadn’t heard anything, so I accepted another position. I appreciate your call, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to work with you.”

HR Representative: “But you filled out an application and said you wanted a job.”

Me: “Yes, I did. But my interview was two months ago, and no one from [Store] ever contacted me to offer me a job, or to tell me that I was in line for one. Your call is the first contact I’ve had. I applied several places and have accepted a position in another field. I really needed a job, you see, so I took one when it was offered.”

HR Representative: “Well, we’re really short-staffed, so we need you to start on Monday.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I really can’t. The job I’ve accepted is full-time, Monday to Friday, so I really wouldn’t be available for anything beyond occasional part-time work.”

HR Representative: “But we need you on Monday.”

Me: *pause* “…and I’m very sorry, but I am not available.”

HR Representative: “You shouldn’t lie on your application. If you say you want a job, you should take it when it’s offered.”

Me: “That’s exactly what I did.”


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