(I work in a major Australian hardware store chain. We have a hire shop where customers can hire out large tools or machinery they wouldn’t want to purchase, or only need to use once, like panel lifts and wallpaper steamers. I have only been trained to hire the machines out and don’t have the knowledge yet to tell people how to use them. Most of the time, there is another person in the store who can advise them, or the customer already knows how to use it. In this instance, however, I am alone with no one on-site to help me.)

Customer: “I would like to hire the parquetry sander.”

(Parquetry sanders are used for detailed sanding, usually on parquetry floors.)

Me: “All right. Just so you know, there’s no one here who can advise you on how to use it. What are you looking to sand?”

Customer: “I’m using it to sand back the old floorboards in my spare room.”

Me: “So, it’s not a parquetry floor and you’re just stripping it back?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I think you should hire one of our basic floor sanders, then; they’re easier to use and cheaper.”

Customer: “No, I know how to use the parquetry sander.”

Me: “Okay.”

(A coworker passes by who knows a lot about flooring.)

Coworker #1: “Hey, why are you hiring out the parquetry sander?”

Customer: “I want to sand back some old floorboards in my spare room.”

Coworker #1: “I think it would be better if you used the basic sander for that.”

Customer: “No, I want to use the parquetry sander, and I know how to use it.”

Coworker #1: “Okay, but just so you know, there’s no one here who can show you how to work it.”

(My coworker leaves, and I start to put the hire paperwork together. Any sander needs sandpaper, and there are a few more bits that need to go with the parquetry sander, and I’m not sure what is best for the job. I decide to ring another store in our chain and check in with their hire shop person there for advice.)

Coworker #2: *on the phone* “So, what does she want to sand?”

Me: “She wants to strip back some old floorboards in her spare room.”

Coworker #2: “Sounds like she needs the basic sander. Like, she could do it with the parquetry one but it will take much longer and be a lot harder.”

Me: *to customer* “He says you should consider using the basic sander. It will be easier.”

Customer: “No, I want the parquetry sander, and I know how to use it.”

Me: “Okay.”

(Over the phone, the coworker tells me all the bits and bobs I need to give her along with the parquetry sander itself. He tells me how to attach the sanding pads and paper to the machine, a basic rundown of how to use it — nowhere near enough to teach someone else how to use it though. I thank him and hang up. I relay all the information he gave me to the customer, and even attach the sandpaper and pads to the sander for her.)

Me: “Okay, so, just one more time, before I take your deposit, are you sure you don’t want the basic sander? It will be quicker, and once again, no one here can help you use the parquetry sander.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I take her deposit, her payment, and her personal details and log them. All up, it comes to well over a hundred dollars.)

Me: “All right, I’ll just get a coworker to help you take this down to your car and load it in, and then you can get started!”

Customer: “Yes, just, before we do that… is there anyone here who can show me how to use it?”

(I stare at her and consider calling the other store back. Then, I give up.)

Me: “Yeah, he’ll be on his shift in about half an hour. Excuse me, I have to help another customer now.”

(I did think the next person came in then for the mid-shift, but it turns out he was on the close that day and didn’t come in for three hours. Hope her floors ended up okay!)

(I work in a men’s clothing store, and we offer tailoring services for our customers that need them. There are also several more stores of the same franchise in our city. One day, this guy walks in and looks kind of confused.)

Customer: “Hi, uh, I’m here to pick up my suit jacket?”

Me: “All right. I’ll go check the rack with tailoring jobs and get right back to you.”

(I walk in the back and see that we have no clothes for due for tailoring or ready for pick-up.)

Me: “I’m sorry; it seems we have no jackets ready for pick-up at the moment. Are you sure it was due today?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. I delivered it sometime before Christmas.”

(It is now February.)

Me: “I’m sure we would have noticed if we’d received a jacket from our tailor and it hadn’t been picked up within a few weeks. Are you sure you left it here, and not with [other stores in our city]?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. I can’t really remember, to be honest. Can you check again?”

Me: “I assure you that we have no clothing in the back that has returned from the tailor at the moment. I can, however, contact the other stores to see if any of them have it.”

Customer: “Nah, that’s fine. I got some time to kill today, anyway; I’ll stop by the other shops to check with them.”

Me: “Very well. Feel free to contact us again if you can’t track down your jacket.”

(Some days went by, and I got a call from one of the other stores, which was located in a mall, and they told me how they had the same customer stop by the shop. He had checked with all the other shops in the city, and no one had his jacket. During the conversation, the manager of a dry-cleaner located at the same mall stopped by and noticed the customer, and asked him if he was ever going to pick up his jacket from dry-cleaning.)

(I work at a fairly well-known video game chain that often has deals for older pre-owned games, like four for $10 or four for $20, etc. Although I’ve seen several variations of this same conversation, this particular encounter takes place during a sale where games $4.99 and under are four for $10. At this point, I have already talked to these customers, informed them very clearly that all games under $5 are four for $10, and left them to do their shopping.)

Me: *as the customers are walking up to my register* “So, did y’all find everything all right this evening?”

Customer’s Wife: “We sure did! Someone gave our grandkids an Xbox as a gift, and we figured we might find them some games for when they come to visit. I can’t believe you have so many 360 games, and at such good prices, too!”

Me: *noticing the four games they’ve brought me are each $20 to $30* “Well, I’m glad you think so! We try to keep as good of a collection as we can in stock.”

(I ring up the games and give them their total, which is well into the $90 range. The husband nods and puts his card into the chip reader. The wife freaks out before he can enter his PIN.)

Customer’s Wife: “Wait, why is our total $90?!”

Me: *mentally hoping she just noticed our loyalty card pricing instead of the actual price* “Well, ma’am, this bottom price here is if y’all had our [loyalty program] card. Since you’ve told me you don’t, you’re getting this price.” *gestures to the top price*

Customer’s Wife: “Excuse me, but those games are four for $10.”

Me: “I’m sorry about the confusion, ma’am. The four for $10 is, unfortunately, only for games under $5.”

Customer’s Wife: “There was absolutely no sign saying that the games had to be under $5! This is ridiculous.”

(She storms back over to the section to “prove that the sign doesn’t say the price range.” I know very well that all the signs clearly say $4.99 and under, and it’s almost as big a piece of text as the “four for $10” portion.)

Customer: *shakes his head* “Sorry about that.”

Me: “It’s all right. We all read the signs wrong sometimes. I really do hope that your grandkids enjoy the games.”

Customer’s Wife: *from the game section* “See, it says right here—” *stops, presumably because she’s actually read the sign this time and has seen how clearly it is marked* “Hmph. Well.” *glares at me* “Maybe I did misread the sign.”

Me: “It happens to the best of us, ma’am. I hope y’all have a wonderful night.”

(I am closing my registers at a well-known retail store. It is a couple of minutes after closing and the lights are out; customers are still leaving. As I’m closing, a man and woman walk into my department — shoes.)

Man: *to woman* “They’re closed.”

(They start meandering through the department, occasionally picking things up. I don’t say anything to them about closing because people frequently window shop as they leave at night. After I’ve completely closed both my registers, the woman walks up to me with two shoes.)

Woman: “Are you closed?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “YOU SAW US OVER HERE AND DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING!?”

(My eyes are wide. Our lights are off, three closing announcements have been made, and I heard the man tell her we were closed.)

Me: “I’m… sorry. I just assumed you were looking on your way out.”

(The woman slams down the floor samples on the wrong table, looking at me like she wants me to know she’s INTENTIONALLY putting them in the wrong place, and walks away.)

Woman: “Have a great night.”

Me: “You, too!”

(I tell my manager what happened. She describes the woman to me.)

Manager: “Is that what she looked like?”

Me: “YES!”

Manager: “Don’t worry about it. I just had to chase her out of accessories because she was insisting that we weren’t closed!”

(Many years ago, I bought a brand-new car from the local dealership. A few months later, I began receiving phone calls from the dealership offering to appraise my now-used vehicle as a trade-in on a new car. After a while I was getting these phone calls at least weekly. Every time they called, I asked to be put on the do-not-call list. I explained that I was not planning to trade my car in anytime soon and that I didn’t want any more phone calls. The calls persisted, however, and I ended up telling them several times that if the calls continued, I would never buy from that dealership again anyway. The calls continued. Finally, fed up, I agreed to make an appointment to come in and have my car appraised. Of course, when the day and time came, I had better things to do. After the appointment time has come and gone, I receive a call from one of the salesmen at the dealership.)

Sales Guy: “Hi! I was calling to remind you that you had an appointment today for an appraisal of your [car]. Did you have an emergency that kept you from coming in?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I know I had an appointment. I just didn’t come.”

Sales Guy: “Um, you just didn’t come?”

Me: “No. I’ve asked you guys over and over to stop calling, and you kept calling, so I just decided to make an appointment whenever you call.”

Sales Guy: “So, you had no intention of coming in?”

Me: “Nope.”

Sales Guy: “So, you made an appointment knowing you wouldn’t come in?!”

Me: “Yep.”

Sales Guy: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “I can and I did and I will every time one of your guys calls me again.”

Sales Guy: “But you’re wasting our time!”

Me: “Then stop calling me. When a paying customer tells you they don’t want any more of your solicitation calls, especially when the calls are coming multiple times per week, maybe listen?!”

(The calls stopped after that, and my next car was a different brand.)