Me: “Hi! Grande triple one-pump mocha?”
Customer: “What? Triple?”
Me: “Oh, you didn’t have a one-pump mocha with an extra shot?”
Customer: “I did have a mocha with one pump, but triple?”
Me: “Okay, so no extra shot. Give me just a sec and I’ll remake this for you.”
The customer has a dejected look.
Me: “All right, here’s that one-pump mocha!”
Customer: “Oh, well, I did ask for an extra shot.”
Customer: “Hi, I just need a refill on my iced coffee.”
Me: “Okay, no problem. With your cup discount, it comes to forty-three cents.”
Customer: “What? No one else charges me for a refill.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Unless you have a membership card, I have to charge you for a refill.”
Customer: “Really? Is [Manager] here? Anyone other than you?”
Me: “No, ma’am, just me today.”
Customer: “I don’t have any cash. You’re really going to make me put forty-three cents on my card? Really? This is ridiculous. No one else charges me for a refill. Ever. I will be speaking to your manager about this.” *Finishes the transaction* “I mean, here’s my stupid card.”
She pulls a membership card from her wallet.
Me: “Ma’am, that’s the membership card I was talking about. It gets you free refills.”
Customer: “Then why did you charge me?”
I work at a Chinese restaurant as a host. I mostly take orders for takeout on the phone and seat guests. On weekdays, we have a lunch special where the meal comes with fried rice instead of steamed, soup, and an eggroll or wontons. The number of people looking at the menu, which lists all these options, and asking me what comes with the special is astonishing, but this customer takes the cake.
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order takeout.”
Me: “Sure, what can I get you?”
Customer: “Can I get [meal]?”
Me: “Of course. Would you like that as a dinner entree or the lunch special?”
Customer: “Oh, what’s the difference?”
Me: “The entree comes with a larger portion of the meal with steamed rice. The special comes with a smaller portion, fried rice, a choice of an eggroll or wontons, and a choice of soup.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll take the lunch special.”
Me: “What would you like with that?”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Would you like an eggroll or wontons?”
Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know it came with that. I’ll take an eggroll.”
Me: “And what kind of soup?”
Customer: “Oh, it comes with soup? I didn’t know it came with that.”
Me: “…”
Related:
No Soup For You!, Part 3
No Soup For You!, Part 2
No Soup For You!
I am checking out a patient and booking their next appointment.
Me: “I can book you in for either [date #1] or [date #2], and I have either a morning or afternoon appointment.”
Patient: “Oh, whenever works!”
Me: “Do you have a preference for morning or afternoon?”
Patient: “Whenever works best for you!”
Me: “Okay, so I will book you in for 8:15 am on [date].”
A lot of patients don’t like early morning appointments, so I figure I might as well try and fill this spot.
Patient: “Okay.”
I start to write the appointment information on a card, and he interrupts me.
Patient: “Sorry, what time?”
Me: “8:15.”
Patient: “Oh, no, that’s too early. Can we do the afternoon?”
Me: “…”
I work at a big store that contains a lot of self-checkouts. I’m handling a group, or bullpen, of seven checkouts, four of which are in “card-only” mode because of our penny shortage at the store. To try and get customers to understand “card-only,” there are five locations on the machine that tell a customer the mode it’s in: the bar above the machine, a sign covering the cash insert slot, a sign above the scanner, a huge red square around the touch screen with “Cards Only” written all over, and a prompt that makes customers acknowledge that the machine is card only.
It’s been about thirty minutes into the day and I’ve already had three out of seven customers try to use cash in the card-only machines. A customer walks in with a moderate cart of groceries.
Me: “Hello, do you need help with anything?”
The customer shakes her head.
Me: “If you need anything, let me know.”
I walk off and tend to the pay station as there are only two customers, including her, in the bullpen. I watch her scan her item and look at the prompt. She seems to read it for a good two minutes before hitting “yes.” The customer proceeds to scan the rest of her items before getting out her wallet. She then proceeds to pull out bills and look for a place to insert them. She even goes as far as removing the sign on the cash insert slot and tries to put it in there. I walk over.
Me: “Ma’am, this is a card-only machine. It won’t accept cash.”
Customer: “Well, I didn’t know that! You should’ve said something!”
I’m already irritated by the past three customers not paying attention.
Me: “How is that possible? I watched you hit ‘yes’ to the prompt that was on the screen explaining that this machine was card-only.”
Customer: “That’s just one thing! I wasn’t paying attention!”
I sigh softly and then point to the other four signs that indicate that the machine is card-only. She realizes that it was her fault she wasn’t paying attention, thankfully.
Customer: “Well… can you save my transaction?”
Me: “I wish I could help, but unfortunately, because I don’t have money in my till, you will have to rescan everything at another machine that can take cash.”
Surprisingly, she just nodded, gathered her stuff, and went to another machine.
The rest of the day was better, but that didn’t stop people from not paying attention to the five different signs that were shoved in their faces.
