I’ve been selling items on eBay for over twenty years. I recently got some VHS tapes I’m selling for a friend. Someone buys one. The listing title is “VHS: [Movie Title].” I ship her item and leave her positive feedback because she pays me right away.

A week later, I have neutral feedback on my profile.

Feedback: “I didn’t realize it was a VHS tape and I don’t have a player so I’m very disappointed.”

And it’s my problem because you can’t read? And the kicker is that eBay won’t reverse her feedback, so I’ve got 700+ positive reviews and one neutral because of this knucklehead.

Our state is still pretty shut down, so all common areas in the hotel are closed per local ordinance. A guest walks up to the front desk with a question.

Guest: “How do I work the Ethernet cable?“

Me: “Oh, you just plug it in and it hardwires you to our Internet.“

Guest: “It’s not working when I try.“

Me: “If you bring it over, I can try to troubleshoot, but it should just connect.“

Guest: “I mean the one in the business center; I can’t bring it.”

Me: “Actually, the business center is closed. We removed the computers, took down the hours, and put up a sign.“

Guest: “Oh, I saw the sign, but it just says, ‘Thank you for keeping six feet apart.’“

Mind you, the sign is taller than me, blocking the entrance to the business center.

I’m waiting for my prescription to be filled, sitting next to the reception desk of the in-house optometrist. I only hear the receptionist’s half of the phone call, so I can only imagine what the other end sounds like.

Receptionist: “Hello, [Optometrist].”

Receptionist: “Yes, yes, we can certainly get you an appointment.”

Receptionist: “Yes, he still works here.”

Receptionist: “No, he doesn’t do late Wednesday night anymore; he does Thursdays, instead.”

Receptionist: “Thursdays.”

Receptionist: “Yes, he used to do late Wednesday nights, but he stopped that and now he does Thursday nights, instead.”

Receptionist: “Yes.”

Receptionist: “No, he doesn’t do Wednesday nights anymore; he does Thursday nights, instead.”

Receptionist: “Yes, Thursdays.”

Receptionist: “Yes, we can certainly get you an appointment on Thursday night. How is 6:20 for you?”

Receptionist: “Yes, in the evening.”

Receptionist: “Yes, on Thursday.”

Receptionist: “Okay then, how about the following Thursday? The latest I have is 7:00 pm.”

Receptionist: “Yes, in the evening. If that’s not going to work, may I suggest—”

Receptionist: “Yes, we are open Saturdays. We are open from 9:00 am until 2:00 pm.”

Receptionist: “Yes, he does work Saturdays. I can fit you in at ten o’clock this Saturday.”

Receptionist: “Yes, in the morning.”

Receptionist: “This Saturday.”

Receptionist: “The fourth of July.”

Receptionist: “Yes. Saturday. Have you been here before? What was the last name?”

Receptionist: “Can you spell that for me? Okay, nothing is coming up on my system. Are you sure you’ve seen him before?”

Receptionist: “Oh, I see, the appointment is for your husband. Has he seen the optometrist before?”

Receptionist: “No? Okay then, I’ll need his last name.”

Receptionist: “Well, yes, it probably all is on your Medicare card, but I’d need that in front of me to get the information off it.”

Receptionist: “Yes, the actual card.”

Receptionist: “Yes, I’d need to be holding it in my hand to get that information.”

Receptionist: “Okay then, can you please spell his name for me? Thank you. And his date of birth?”

Receptionist: “Once again, ma’am, I don’t have your Medicare card in front of me. Thank you.”

Receptionist: “Okay, we will see you at ten am this Saturday the fourth of July.”

Receptionist: “Yes, this Saturday. At ten o’clock.”

Receptionist: “Yes, in the morning. Please bring your Medicare care.”

Receptionist: “Yes, the actual card. Thank you. Bye.”

He hung up and made an expression that said, “Thank God that’s over.” As he turned around, he saw that I was looking straight at him and panicked briefly before he realised that I was shaking with silent laughter. I really want to be there at 10:00 am this Saturday to see what happens. Yes, in the morning. This Saturday.

A customer wants to set up a password for their account. It is necessary to have at least one capital letter, a number, and a punctuation mark in a password. Only certain characters are allowed to be used as a punctuation mark.

Customer: “Can I use a dollar sign in my password?“

Me: “No. Please use a period, comma, exclamation mark, or question mark.“

Customer: “Okay… hashtag… It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Did you use either a period, comma, exclamation mark, or question mark?“

Customer: “Yes, I’ve got a capital letter, regular letters, hashtags…“

Me: “I would advise you not to use a hashtag, as that won’t work. Please choose either a period, comma, exclamation mark, or question mark.“

Customer: “I’ll use the AT sign, then. Huh, it won’t work.“

Me: “No, it won’t… You have to use a period, comma, exclamation mark, or question mark.“

Customer: “Oh, okay…“

Ten seconds later:

Customer: “Oh, wow! That actually works!”

I am at the grocery store. My aunt works at this store and I am there every week, so I know a few employees that I see regularly, and when I pass them, I say hello, ask how their day is going, etc. The uniform there is a black T-shirt or sweater embossed with the store’s name written in yellow and a picture of the mascot, with a bright yellow name tag. They even wear black masks with the store name printed on them. I am wearing a black sweater that day, but it says, “Smile More,” on it in white, I have no name tag, and I have a black “Harry Potter” mask.

I stop at the toy’s section to look for something for my daughter.

Woman: “Excuse me?”

I turn and see a woman standing there with her hands on her hips, staring at me. She has a mask on with her nose out, of course. I think she wants something from where I am standing and doesn’t want to get too close.

Me: “Oh, sorry.”

And I take a few steps back. She gives me a weird look.

Woman: “There was a basket of books here last week. Do you know where they were moved to?”

As luck would have it, I do remember seeing some books there as I actually bought one for my daughter. I see a few of them on the shelf nearby and point to them.

Me: “Here they are. I guess they moved them onto the shelf.”

Woman: “No, these aren’t them. I’m looking for some smaller books.”

Me: “Hmm, sorry, not sure where they went. The book section is on the other side of the store; I’d try there.”

Woman: “Aren’t you going to check for me?”

I am a bit tired from working all day, so it doesn’t click in my head yet.

Me: “I have to pick up a few things from over here first, but I guess I can have a peek on my way to the registers and let you know if I see anything.”

Woman: *Huffing* “Doesn’t anyone want to work around here nowadays? You all are so lazy.”

Me: *Realizing* “Oh, sorry. I don’t actually work here.”

Woman: “Yes, you do. I saw you saying hello and laughing with all those other employees.”

Me: *Laughing* “Oh, yeah. Well, I’m a regular, and I said hello to a few people who I know, but no, I don’t work here. I don’t even have a uniform on.”

Woman: *Looking at my sweater* “I don’t care if you’re off duty; you still represent the store and have to treat customers with respect. I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: *Smiling* “Ma’am, I’m my manager… at the auto parts store that I work for. If you’re looking for a part for your car, I can definitely help you out, but unfortunately, that is all I can do.”

She seemed to be putting two and two together when an actual employee walked up, and she politely asked them to show her to the books instead.