I’ll Pay You For Non-Service

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2017

(The gas station I work for has two full-service pumps. We often have to tell our patrons this, and that if they want to pump their own gas, they need to move. My coworker gets a customer at one of these pumps, and he obviously doesn’t speak very good English.)

Coworker: “Hi, there. Would you like full service?”

(The customer doesn’t understand and continues to try to pump his own gas.)

Coworker: “Sir, this pump is full-service only, and I need to pump for you, or you need to move.”

(The customer is frustrated at this point.)

Customer: “Here two dollar. You go away.”

(Still unsure if he ever got his gas.)

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What A Diabeetus, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | November 6, 2017

(A customer is getting her money out of her bag. I had put in a low blood-sugar reading in my insulin pump a couple minutes earlier, and it always beeps to remind me to check it again. It beeps, and I unclip it from my waist and turn the screen on. The customer looks up and her eyes go wide.)

Customer: “Of course!”

Me: “What’s the matter?”

Customer: “This is the reason I hate this store! They hire teenagers that look at their phones all the time! They don’t even care about the customers.”

Me: “What? Oh! This isn’t a phone, ma’am.” *presses “okay” and clips it back to my waist*

Customer: “Yes, it is! Give it to me so I can report you to your manager!”

Me: “One, it’s not a phone. Two, I can’t take it off because it’s an insulin pump. I have type-one diabetes.” *shows her my medical alert bracelet* “My manager knows this.”

Customer: “You don’t have diabetes! You’re not obese!”

Me: *tries to resist the urge to face-palm* “Ma’am, I have type-one. The one you’re thinking about is type-two. Please give me the money and leave.”

Customer: “No!” *reaches for my pump, which has a tube that connects to something on my stomach*

Me: *calmly* “Please leave.”

(The customer once again reaches for my pump, and pulls it off my pants. She pulls it forward and realizes there’s a tube on it.)

Customer: “How do you disconnect the charger?”

Me: “That isn’t a charger wire, ma’am. It’s a tube. You can see it’s clear. Please let go.”

(I reach to take my pump back. The customer pulls it forwards again, and I jerk forward. A lot of the time I drop my pump, and it pulls on my stomach. It’s never torn out the thing on my stomach, but this time it’s about to. Luckily, my manager arrives before it does.)

Manager: “Let go of that right now and leave. It’s good that you hate this store, because you’re not coming back.”

(The customer places the pump on the counter and runs to the door, not taking her money or things.)

Me: “Thanks.”

Manager: “Take her money; you deserve it. I’ll put her stuff back.”

(Suddenly, I heard a beep. My manager was also a diabetic, and also had a low earlier. He pulled out his pump, which looked like mine. I heard a loud scream and the door slamming shut.)

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Wish They’d Remained Unnoticed

, , , , , | Learning | November 6, 2017

(At this point, the semester is two months in.)

Guy #1: “Hey, man! Anthony!”

Guy #2: “It’s Chris.”

Guy #1: “Chris, right! D*** it. I keep doing that. I didn’t realize you were in this class!”

Guy #2: “You just noticed? I’ve been sitting behind you the entire time.”

Guy #1: “Yeah, but it’s early.”

Guy #2: “Midterm’s next week.”

Guy #1: “I mean, early in the day.”

Guy #2: “It’s 6:30. In the evening.”

Guy #1: “Yeah, so, uh, how’ve you been?”

([Guy #2] changed seats to the other side of the room without another word.)

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Works Well In All But Name

, , , , | Working | November 6, 2017

(A customer calls in, asking if we found his credit card a few days ago. Working with the manager, I see that we have it, and ask the customer for the name on the card to make sure it’s his. After confirming his name, I let him know we have it in our safe. Half an hour later, he shows up.)

Me: “Hey there! Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I called in earlier about a missing credit card.”

Me: “I remember that. Mind if I ask your name, just to confirm that it’s you?”

Customer: “It’s [Name], spelled [N-A-M-E]. Here’s my ID as well.”

Me: *checking his ID and seeing that it’s legit* “All right, I’ll go grab that for you real quick.”

(I go to the back, grab the manager to open the safe, get the card, and head back up.)

Me: “All right, here you go.”

Customer: “Thanks. I’d also like to place an order.”

Me: “Sure thing! Will that be for here or to go?”

Customer: “To go.”

Me: *after confirming his identity no less than three times* “Can I have a name for that?”

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A Three-Course Disaster

, , , , , , | Working | November 6, 2017

My partner and I go out to a local restaurant to celebrate our fifth anniversary. We are seated and our waiter takes our drink order. He looks young, possibly in his late teens. After around ten minutes, the drinks haven’t arrived, so when our waiter walks past, I ask him how the drinks are going. Instead of going to check on them, he takes out his notebook and takes our order again.

I get the impression he is new and very nervous. I don’t want to make him feel bad, so we just re-order the same drinks. Five minutes later, he returns with both orders of drinks. “Oh well,” I think. We were probably going to order more drinks later, anyway, so I don’t say anything.

He takes our food order without any issues and our meals arrive at a reasonable time. Well… my partner’s appetizer and main course both arrive together. That turns out to be a lucky accident, as the young waiter delivers my food to a table nearby. When they tell him that it isn’t what they ordered, he apologizes, takes the plates back to the kitchen, and returns with my meal in take-away containers.

I am a bit peeved, but as it is our anniversary, we both just want to relax and enjoy the night, and the food is actually really good. We decide to risk ordering dessert. My partner orders deep fried ice-cream, only for our young waiter to tell us that it’s not on the menu. I point it out to him on the menu, and point to other tables where we can see people eating it. He apologizes and said he honestly had no idea that it was on the menu.

After finishing our meal, we go to the front counter to pay the bill. It seems our waiter has never used or been trained in using a POS terminal or EFTPOS machine, and has to call other staff for help three times just to enter our items into the register.

My patience is just about expired, but I still feel sorry for the kid, as we’ve been able to hear his boss yelling at him every time he goes into the kitchen. I’ve been the new guy before and totally sympathize with him. I think to try and bolster his confidence and show him some support, so I say, “Don’t worry; it looks like you’re new here, and it seems tough now, but in a few weeks you’ll be a total professional.”

His reply left me feeling so awful. I’ve never forgotten what he said.

“I’m not new; I’ve worked here for six months.”

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