Sees Every Color Except The Paint Color

, , , , | Friendly | March 28, 2018

(It’s a sunny day, so I decide to take a walk in the park. I kneel down to tie my shoelace just as a middle-aged African-American woman sits down on a bench. After I finish, I notice a sign that must’ve fallen from the bench.)

Me: *after reading the sign* “Excuse me, ma’am.”

Woman: *cheerful* “What is it, dear?”

Me: “You can’t sit there. It’s—”

Woman: *full-on moodswing to anger* “Why? Because of my skin color? I have every right to sit on this bench, you ungrateful little hussy!”

(I notice as she is shouting that a few heads have turned.)

Me: “Ma’am!”

Woman: “What?!”

Me: “I was trying to tell you that the bench is freshly painted. See? The sign fell.”

Woman: *red and embarrassed* “Well, I… Um…”

(She stuttered a bit more and then grabbed her bags. As she ran away, I noticed her nice green dress had red paint stripes. I just sighed and went on with my day. A bit quick to accuse someone of being racist, if you ask me.)

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Your Lines Have Been Crossed

, , , | Working | March 28, 2018

(While cutting back a vine outside my house, I discover that the engineer who installed the phone line attached it to a branch. It happens to be the same colour as the vine, so now I’ve cut it by mistake. I contact the phone company, who say they’ll send a repair worker on a particular day between eight and one. One o’clock on that day comes and they’re still not there, so I phone them again.)

Representative: “According to our system, they’ve flagged it as done.”

Me: “Well, it isn’t, because no one’s been here all day.”

Representative: “They say it’s been done.”

Me: “I’m looking at it right now, and it’s still broken.”

Representative: “Are you sure about that?”

Me: “It’s trailing wires.”

Representative: “Clearly, the problem was somewhere else in the system.”

Me: “No. The problem is right outside my house.”

Representative: “They say they tested it.”

Me: “My landline is still not working. They haven’t tested it, because they haven’t been here.”

Representative: “There must have been confusion somewhere.”

Me: “I told you the line has broken outside my house. I gave you an address. How can you confuse that?”

Representative: “What do you want us to do?”

Me: “Contact the people who were supposed to come here and find out what is going on.”

Representative: “Ooh, they’re a bit difficult to get hold of.”

Me: “What kind of system is it if they can remotely mark jobs as done, but you can’t just phone them up?”

Representative: “They’ll be with you at some point. You must understand, we’re a bit busy.”

Me: “Do you think I’ve not got things to do today? I’ve kept up my end of the bargain and stayed in all day. What am I supposed to do? Stay in the rest of the day? Tomorrow? I want you to find out!”

Representative: “There’s procedures we need to go through if there’s extra work that needs doing.”

Me: “No. This isn’t a case of ‘extra work.’ This is a case of work that needs doing because they haven’t done it!”

Representative: “All right. I’ll phone them, but I need the line clear.”

Me: “Just phone me as soon as you know something.”

(It turned out they’d been sent to the wrong address. Exactly what they fixed there, I don’t know.)

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Only Half Listening

, , | Right | March 28, 2018

(I work at a pool. A customer is swimming with his grandson. He has just noticed we have turned off the slide and are a putting a lane rope in, ready for length swim.)

Customer: “Oh, my God! You are closing!”

Me: “Yes, at six pm, and then we go to lanes.”

Customer: “But it said you were open until seven!”

Me: “Not in half-term. We close the pool at six, then go into lanes.”

Customer: “But last week, you were open until seven!”

Me: “Yes, but this is half-term, so we are open at ten and shut at six.”

Customer: “But last week, you had half the pool roped off and were open until seven.”

Me: “Yes, that is because it was term-time and we had lessons. It is half-term.”

Customer: “Oh, is it half-term?”

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Their Sales Technique Isn’t Exactly Electric

, , , , | Working | March 28, 2018

(I’m at home, having dinner, when the doorbell rings. Because I am expecting a package, I rush to the door. Two men are in front of my door. Relevant facts: I have my own company, located in another building, and I’ve been conned at the door once before and therefore never buy at the door, no matter how wonderful things sound.)

Man #1: “Hello, am I at [Company with a name quite similar to my company’s, but just not right]?”

Me: “You mean [My Company]?”

Man #1: “Ah, yes. Sorry for mispronouncing it. And are you the owner?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Man #1: “Well, we noticed that you still have a private electricity account on this address. Did you know you can also have a business account?”

Me: *already knowing where this is going* “Oh, but I’m not working in this building.”

Man #1: “But your registration says.”

Me: “Yeah, but it’s not here, and I have nothing to say about the electricity of the other building, so I have no interest.”

(This goes back and forth at least two more times.)

Man #2: *finally speaking up* “But you could save a lot of money!”

Me: “Yeah, but I’m satisfied with what I have, so I’m not interested.”

Man #2: “But why are you not interested?”

Me: *I feel annoyed by that question, but try to keep on smiling* “Let me put it this way: I don’t buy at the door.”

Man #2: “Well, we can also do this at the table!”

Me: *now truly annoyed, but still smiling* “Yeah… No, thanks. Not interested. Good night.”

([Man #2] turned around in a huff — he even released a “tss” sound — and left, followed by [Man #1], who remained silent. I don’t know how they expect to make sales by getting offended if someone says, “No.”)

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Getting An Icy Reception

, , , , | Working | March 28, 2018

(I am a huge coffee drinker. I only like hot coffee; I can’t stand the iced stuff. Even in triple-digit weather, I will drink hot coffee. I travel a great deal and always have trouble with the person taking my order giving me iced coffee, even AFTER telling them to make sure it’s hot. They tell me they thought I just misspoke, because there was no way someone would want a hot drink in the middle of summer. Usually they just remake it and apologize, I tell them it’s no problem and that it was an honest mistake, and I go about my merry way. I am at a hospital taking care of a relative. I go down to a fast food restaurant to get a much-needed coffee.)

Me: “Good afternoon. May I please have a hot mocha coffee, medium.”

Cashier: “Okay, that is one coffee… Are you sure you want hot?”

Me: “Yes. Please make sure it is hot. I do not like iced.”

Cashier: “Um, it’s over 100 degrees.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I want hot, not iced, please. I think the iced coffee is nasty.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

(I go and wait for my order. I wait about ten minutes. People come in to order after me and leave with their orders. I go up and talk to who I believe is the manager.)

Me: “Excuse me. I have been waiting for ten minutes for my coffee order.”

Manager: “Oh, here it is, ma’am, on the counter.” *gestures to an iced coffee*

Me: *sigh* “No, I ordered a hot coffee. I said it three times.”

Manager: “It’s over 100 degrees out . Nobody orders hot coffee on hot days like this.”

Me: “I do.”

Manager: “Tell you what. This drink is more expensive than what you ordered; you can have this one, instead, without paying more.” *he tries to walk off*

Me: “No. I do not want iced coffee; I think it is nasty. I ordered hot coffee and that is what I want, please.”

(At this point the original cashier comes over. She just shakes her head.)

Cashier: “I told you to make sure it was hot.”

Manager: “Who orders hot coffee when it’s 100 degrees out?”

Me: “I do. Now, please, either make my coffee the way I ordered it, or you can give me a refund. I really am done arguing.”

(He just stands there. The cashier goes around him and makes my coffee. I thank her, but as I start to leave, the manager tells me in a bit of a snotty tone I should take the iced coffee, too, because it would just go to waste.)

Me: “I. Do. Not. Want. Iced. Coffee. Seriously, what part of that do you not get?”

(As I am leaving, I hear him telling the cashier:)

Manager: “I don’t see why she wouldn’t just take the coffee we already made. It’s better than the hot stuff she is drinking.”

(Unfortunately for him, my receipt had a “How are we doing?” survey code on it.)

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