No JD For This DJ

, , , , , , | Working | January 12, 2018

(We are at a local town hall for a New Year’s party. The DJ comes in and starts to get all set up. He looks and acts frustrated. From the sounds of it this was a last minute thing his boss tossed his way. He grumbles and groans but gets set up fairly quickly. He grabs the mic.)

DJ: “Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Everyone hear me?”

(We cheer and holler.)

DJ: “Okay, folks, let’s get this party started; the more you drink the more fun we have!”

(There was dead silence. One of the party coordinators ran up to him and whispered something to let him know that this was an Alcoholics Anonymous party. There was no alcohol. The DJ did apologize, and then ran outside, cell phone in hand. Those near the door could hear him yelling at someone on the phone for not telling him it was an AA party. The rest of the night went smoothly and we all had fun.)

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Problem Customer Number One

, , , , | Right | January 12, 2018

(I’m the stupid customer in this story. I’ve just found a gorgeous dress on clearance; in a store where things are usually $20 or $30, this is only about $3.75. I’m really excited.)

Cashier: “All right, that’ll be [total just below $4].”

Me: “Awesome, here you go.”

(I hand him a ten without paying much attention and look through my wallet, noticing I have no change.)

Me: “Hey, could you give me all ones back?”

Cashier: “Oh, um… Yeah, sure.”

(The cashier starts counting out the change, and I get confused, wondering what’s taking so long. After what feels like forever, he hands me my change and receipt. I’m still confused for a moment.)

Me: “Hey, you gave me… Oh! Oh, my God! I gave you a 20, didn’t I? Oh, my God, I’m so stupid! I thought I gave you a ten!”

Cashier: “It’s all right, ma’am.”

Me: “No, really, it’s not! Oh, my God! And I’m a cashier, too! Oh, my God, I am so sorry!”

Cashier: “Really, ma’am, it’s fine.”

(I take my bag and go, red-faced and embarrassed. I just forced this cashier to count out $16 in ones, which I know I would hate having done to me. As I round the corner I hear the cashier say something to his coworker.)

Cashier: “Hey, um… I’m going to go get the manager. I need more ones.”

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Wendy Wouldn’t Approve

, , , , , | Right | January 12, 2018

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Place]! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: *pause* “What?”

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Technically Speaking, You’re A Jerk

, , , , , | Right | January 12, 2018

(I work for a cable company in their Internet repair team. When your Internet breaks, I’m the one you call. This customer in particular claims she has called six times in the past week; reading through the memos on her account, it has only been three times. Regardless, she starts the call with an attitude.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cable Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: *obviously elderly* “What is your name, your employee ID, and where are you located?”

Me: “I’m [My Name], located in Louisville, Kentucky, and my ID is [ID number].”

Customer: “Well, I don’t even know what you think you can do. My Internet is down again, and I just had four technicians out this week!” *she has not*

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am, but I’d be very happy to assist you in getting your Internet back up and running.”

Customer: “Well, I doubt you can, but my information is [Name, Address, security code, and phone number].”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I’ll be happy to look this up.”

(I pause while I look through her information. I realize that when she was given a new modem the tech didn’t put it in the system that makes it work.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I see the issue here; it seems that your technician didn’t—”

Customer: “MY TECHNICIAN DID EVERYTHING HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO! I WATCHED IT WITH MY OWN EYES!”

Me: *holding headset off of my ears* “Ma’am, maybe it was a mistake—”

Customer: “THERE IS NO MISTAKE! I KNOW THE TECHNICIANS AROUND HERE! THEY WOULD NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s possible that he didn’t—”

Customer: *continues ranting about how she knows all about everything Internet*

Me: “Ma’am, I have told you quite a few times now exactly what I am seeing in front of me—”

(The customer interrupts me again, ranting and raving about how she knows everything about my job. I have given up at this point and just proceed to fix the problem without trying to explain what is wrong anymore.)

Me: “Ma’am, can you restart your computer for me, please?”

Customer: *shuts up finally* “Okay, it’s restarting.”

Me: *waits for her computer to come back up* “Okay. Can you open your browser, please?”

Customer: “Oh, look! I have Internet connection! How did you do that?”

Me: “Ma’am, that provisioning issue I tried to tell you about? I fixed it, and now you’re connected. If you have no further questions for me, thank you for calling [Cable Company]. Please remain on the line for a brief survey.”

(I have never been happier to hang up and go to break, which she also made me 15 minutes late for.)

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Lettuce Try That Again

, , , , , | Right | January 11, 2018

(I’m the bad customer in this story. I am ordering a sandwich at a popular sub shop, where they make your sandwich in front of you.)

Employee: “Lettuce, tomato?”

Me: *looking at the green peppers and onions* “No, just green peppers and lettuce.”

(She grabs lettuce.)

Me: “No! Just green peppers and lettuce.”

Employee: “Yep.” *starts spreading the lettuce on my sandwich*

Me: *confused and frustrated* “No, I don’t want lettuce!” *finally realize my mistake* “Sorry! I meant green peppers and onions only. I don’t know why I kept saying lettuce when I meant onion.”

Employee: *look of panic and swipes the lettuce off the sandwich* “Is this all right?” *referring to the tiny pieces of lettuce left behind*

Me: “Of course, it was my mistake. I’m the one that kept telling you lettuce.”

Employee: “I’ve had other customers do the exact same thing as you, but make me remake the whole sandwich.”

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