Make Sure Some Of Those Vitamins Helps Eyesight

, , , , | Right | May 25, 2018

(I’m currently working the self-checkouts when a woman calls me over.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m having a problem over here!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “These vitamins rang up wrong! They’re supposed to be buy one, get one free!”

Me: “Looks like they’re ringing up at buy one, get one half-off. Let me check the ad.”

(She has eight bottles of vitamins; two are a different brand from the rest. Her two brands, however, are clearly listed as buy one, get one half-off. The ones that would be free are an entirely different brand.)

Me: “Okay, here they are.” *shows her the ad* “The ones that you have are half-off; these other brands are the free ones.”

Customer: “Well, your signs say differently! The ad must be wrong! I’m going to go back to look at them!”

(She storms over there, leaving her three sons with me. After a few minutes, she comes back with two vitamins from the brands that were free.)

Customer: “I need you to take all those vitamins off; I’m getting these, instead.”

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Totally Wired

, , , , , | Working | May 22, 2018

(We have had repeated outages with our Internet that the ISP has never managed to diagnose. They seem to correspond to rainstorms, and tech support constantly says they cannot find any problem and blames it on our house wiring. After yet another outage, I walk outside and unscrew the cable connection from the outside box. I plug it directly into my cable modem and verify that I cannot connect to the Internet. This definitively proves that it cannot be the wiring in my house, so I call up the ISP and have the following exchange.)

Technician #1: “Hello, what can I do to help you today?”

Me: “I have recurring Internet outages, about which I have called repeatedly. They have occurred once again. Before you walk me through your normal steps, yes, I’ve restarted the modem, repeatedly. Also, I am plugged directly into your service drop, so this is not a problem with my house wiring.”

(The tech ignores what I just said and starts following his script:)

Technician #1: “So, you are experiencing a lack of Internet connectivity. Have you restarted the modem?”

Me: “Yes. As I told you, I’ve restarted the modem and am plugged directly into your service drop.”

Technician #1: “Okay, sir. Let me see if I can ping your modem.” *pauses* “I am unable to ping your modem. This most likely indicates a problem with the wiring in your house, as we have no reports of service outages in your area.”

Me: “It is not the wiring in my house. As I told you, I am plugged directly into your service drop. I am bypassing the wiring in my house entirely. It cannot possibly be the wiring in my house.”

Technician #1: “Sir, I understand what you are saying.” *obviously he does not* “But I assure you, it is most likely the wiring in your house. If we have to send out a technician and he finds that it is the wiring in your house, you will be subject to a $150 service fee.”

Me: “I understand that. It is definitely not the wiring in my house, because I am connected to your service drop.”

Technician #1: “Before I send out a technician, I need you to check the connections in your house to be sure that you do not have a wiring problem.”

(At this point, I give up. The technician clearly has his script, and has no capacity or desire to think beyond it. I politely end the call and then call back. This time, I hit the jackpot and get a tech who immediately understands what I tell him:)

Technician #2: “Well, that pretty much proves your house wiring is not at fault. Have you tried logging into the modem…” *gives me instructions* “…to see if it is getting any signal?”

(I do what he says and confirm that it is not.)

Technician #2: “Okay. I’ll set up a service call for you for tomorrow.”

(This tech then told me that he was glad someone called up who actually knew what to check. He chatted with me for a few minutes about how little the general public understands and how he was glad I knew about things like service drops and general troubleshooting. The next day a service technician came out, and my Internet was working, but I explained about the outages and the correlation to rain. He spent a few hours in the neighborhood and finally came back to tell me he had found the problem. Squirrels had chewed their way into an equipment box on a pole and, when it rained, water would get in and short out connections. Had I not done my own testing at the service drop, they wouldn’t have found the problem, because they would have tested my connection when it was working fine and assumed it was my problem.)

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Leaves Her Baby In A Flash (Drive)

, , , , , | Right | May 22, 2018

(A customer comes in with her baby in a carrier. She sets the carrier down by her feet as she approaches my cash register.)

Customer: “Where are your flash drives?”

Me: “Over in aisle six.”

Customer: “Great. Can you just watch my baby for me? He’s just right there.” *points to her feet and quickly walks away*

Me: “Um…”

(I lean over the counter so I can see the baby, and he’s there sitting in his carrier. I keep watch on him, afraid that another customer will come and pull me away from him, or not see him on the floor and kick the carrier. The customer comes back about two minutes later.)

Customer: “Thanks for watching him.”

Me: “Um… Okay.”

(A few weeks later, I leave my cash to take some baskets back to the front door, and when I return, I gasp to see a baby in a carrier on the floor, unattended.)

Me: “Um! There’s a baby over here!”

(I turned around and recognized the same woman from a few weeks before, WAY at the FARTHEST till away, checking out! She didn’t even hear me call that there was an unattended baby. When she was done checking out she just slowly walked back over to get her baby.)

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Not Using Their Grey Matter

, , , , | Right | May 21, 2018

(It’s Thanksgiving night, and the women’s clothing store where I work is open and selling away for Black Friday. Black Friday brings out the crazies, and this is no exception. We have a visitor from out of state who is in constant need of attention and help. My coworker and I can’t leave her side, and most of our interactions go like this:)

Customer: “I love these navy pants. Can I get them in grey, too?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. Unfortunately, we don’t carry our bootleg pants in grey. The only grey pants we have are our trouser fit.”

Customer: “Oh, let me try those!”

Me: “You already have, ma’am. Remember? The black ones. We didn’t have your size in the grey, but we said we could order them for you in the color you wanted and it would ship to your house.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. I don’t need any black pants, though.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I know. We just had you try the black ones on to see if you liked the fit. The grey ones we are ordering for you fit the exact same way.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Can I get those in navy, too?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have our trouser pants in navy. Only grey, black, white, and brown.”

Customer: “I only need grey. Let me try on the grey ones.”

Me: “We don’t have your size in the grey, remember? That’s why you tried on the black. Those are the ones we’re shipping to you?”

Customer: “Ah, yes, yes. yes. Like the ones I’m wearing now. Only grey.”

Me: “Nope. The ones you’re wearing now are our bootleg pants.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can I get them in grey?”

Me: “We only sell our bootleg pants in black and navy.”

Customer: “But I don’t need black pants. I need grey pants.”

(This went on for two hours. She finally checked out and we made sure we explained everything that was going to happen very carefully. She seemed to finally understand, and we thought nothing more of it. A few weeks later, we got a phone call from a very frustrated store in her home state. She had apparently called them, very irate, because the package they delivered to her was the wrong pant. She wanted the grey bootleg pant — which doesn’t exist — and they sent her the grey trouser pant — which she ordered. When they tried to explain that to her, she demanded a refund. You just can’t help crazy.)

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Named And Shamed

, , | Right | May 21, 2018

(I am traveling by air for my sister’s wedding. This scenario keeps happening.)

Airline: *over intercom* “Paging passenger [Passenger]. Passenger [Passenger], your flight is being held for you. Please check in immediately.”

(This message is repeated several times, in several different ways.)

Passenger: *sitting literally two feet from the speaker, not wearing headphones or anything, goes to check in*

Me: “What? Are these people like, ‘Oh, hey, that’s my name! The name I’ve had my whole life!’ It’s not even for our flight, but it’s driving me crazy.”

(I have so much respect for airline employees!)

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