Need To Maintain The Maintenance Staff

, , , , | Working | January 30, 2018

(I work in a hotel. I get a call from a customer complaining that a large man had barged into his room at 1:00 pm, said something about a leak, and left. I summon the maintenance man.)

Me: “Did you go into [Room]?”

Maintenance Man: “Yeah.”

Me: “They were mad because they said that you just barged in.”

Maintenance Man: “I knocked, and when there was no answer, I opened the door. It’s standard procedure.”

(I was flabbergasted, because I knew he knew that the room was occupied. Turns out, he went into the wrong room, on a different floor than he was supposed to go to! My coworkers and I were shocked when he still said that he did nothing wrong. I had to apologize to the customer for him. Luckily, the customer accepted it. Can you tell that maintenance-related problems are 95% of our complaints?)

Taking Pride In One’s Appearance

, , , | Working | January 30, 2018

Me: “I’d like to check these out, please.”

(The librarian looks over the books, stopping at a gay fiction novel.)

Librarian: “Ooh, I didn’t know you were ‘that way.’”

Me: “You didn’t?”

Librarian: “No! Guess I’ll have something new to gossip about at bridge tonight.”

(Just then, the screen behind her switches to a recent local pride event, showing how much money has been raised. I am in the centre of the picture, wearing the exact same rainbow shirt I have on now. I also have blue hair, so I’m quite distinctive.)

Me: “Yeah… I’m pretty sure everyone already knows.”

Being A Queen About Getting The King

, , , , | Right | January 30, 2018

(I work in the linens department of my store.)

Me: “What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “My son says this pillow case is too long. I need something that will fit.”

(She shows me the case, and it is meant for a standard-size sleeping pillow.)

Me: “Are you looking for a standard pillowcase, then?”

Customer: “No, I want a king-size.”

Me: “It sounds like your son has a standard-sized pillow, so a standard- or queen-size pillow would fit.”

Customer: “No, it’s too long! I need something else like this, king-size.”

Me: “Ma’am, these pillowcases are made this way so they can fit onto the pillow easier, especially after being washed. If you buy a king-size case, then it’s going to be even longer, because it’s meant for a king-size pillow.”

Customer: “No, these cases are too long! I want something bigger!”

Me: “Ma’am, these cases are meant for these standard pillows here. King-size cases are meant for these larger pillows here.” *showing her the pillows* “This standard case will fit a standard pillow.”

Customer: “Here! You open this and show me that it will fit!”

(I open the standard pillowcase up and put the pillow inside, and it fits like any standard pillow would.)

Customer: *mutters* “Thank you.” *walks away*

Me: “No problem, ma’am.” *grinning slyly*

Cappuccinos, Cookies, And Clashing

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2018

(I am a barista. A customer has come from the food ordering counter to the coffee counter and shown his receipt.)

Customer: “I just wanted to check that the coffee you called out is mine and not somebody else’s.”

Me: “Extra shot small cappuccino? That’s yours, sir.”

Customer: “But you need to make sure.”

Me: “What’s your order number?”

Customer: “[Order number].”

Me: “Yep, that’s yours. It’s just down at the pickup counter.”

Customer: “But is it really mine? It could be somebody else’s.”

Me: “It’s definitely yours; we only had one extra shot small cappuccino order.”

(The manager goes past and grabs it, and hands it to him.)

Manager: “This is your coffee, sir. Thank you!”

Customer: “Could I also get a cookie?”

Manager: “Sure, that’ll just be [price].”

Customer: “No, it should be [lower price]; there’s a deal.”

Manager: “Your coffee is already in a meal, so you already have a discount. The deal is only for coffees that aren’t in a meal.”

Customer: “But I paid more for this coffee!”

Manager: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I paid extra for this coffee! I should get a discount.”

Manager: “No, it’s in a meal, so you actually got a discount. The drink has a price, but in a meal it’s a lower price. So, you still have a discount.”

Customer: “No, I literally paid extra for this coffee. Are you telling me I can’t have the discount after I paid extra?”

Manager: “You didn’t pay extra; you got a discount.”

Customer: “Seriously? I paid extra!”

Manager: “All right, I’ll give you the deal, anyway.”

Customer: “I paid extra! I already paid extra for this coffee!”

Manager: “No, you didn’t, but that doesn’t matter. Give me [lower price], and I’ll get your cookie.”

(He gets his cookie and goes. I step up to take the next order.)

Next Customer: “Wow. Some people just like to argue, don’t they?”

Happens Once In A Blue Moon

, , , | Right | January 29, 2018

(I work at a pet store, and it’s currently before my shift, so I go across the street to a popular supermarket to buy some breakfast. I’m in uniform, and while the two stores both have blue uniforms, mine is light blue and theirs is dark blue.)

Customer: *walks up to me in a hurry* “Excuse me! Excuse me!”

Me: *ignores her and continues shopping, thinking she’s talking to someone else*

Customer: “Excuse me!” *grabs my shoulder* “Where are your bathrooms?”

Me: *looks her dead in the eye* “Okay, so, you’re going to have to exit this store, cross the street, go to the pet store, then go all the way to the back of the store. The restrooms should be on the right.”

Customer: *finally notices that my shirt looks nothing like this store’s shirt* “Oops.”

(This isn’t the first time someone’s bothered me before my shift in a different store.)

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