No Chance To Develop Your Argument

, , , | Working | November 3, 2017

(I am managing a team of developers, and we have written a new application. The test version is already functional but we still need to make a few more tweaks before we release it to the users.)

Me: *to the lead developer* “Could we please sit down and make a list of what we have to do before we can release?”

Boss: *overhears us* “Hey, that won’t be necessary; he knows what he is doing. He will do it step by step and tell us when it is ready.”

(My boss then takes me aside, berates me for finding problems where there are none and for micromanaging the developer, and tells me to drop the issue. A week later:)

Boss: “Hey, can we release that app now?”

Me: “I don’t know, but it is probably not done yet. [Lead Developer] has not told us that he is ready.”

Boss: “You have to tell me what is still left to do on that thing. Can you tell me one thing which is missing?”

Me: “No, I didn’t get that inform—”

Boss: “Okay, I’m releasing it tomorrow, then.”

Buy Bye!

, , , | Right | November 2, 2017

(At our hotel, we have a snack shop full of food as well as other things, like soaps and brushes.)

Customer: “Do you have a toothbrush?”

Me: “We have toothbrushes to buy. We don’t have them free.”

Customer: “Buy?”

(I show her.)

Me: “Yes, toothbrushes to buy, on the bottom shelf there.”

Customer: “Buy?”

Me: “Yes, buy.”

Customer: “Oh, buy!” *takes brush and leaves without paying*

Me: “…”

MMORPG = Mindless Magnanimity Origins Roommates Paying Greatly

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 2, 2017

(My husband and I have a housemate. This housemate is also my co-worker and a friend of ours. We have been playing [Popular Multiplayer Online Game] off and on for years. The game requires a monthly subscription fee, and back in August our housemate wanted to play as well, so we spotted him the cost for a month to check it out. Instead of using the “Gift Time” option, my husband put our card on the subscription. We asked him to remove our payment information directly after, so as to avoid future charges. He told us that he did and that we did not have to worry. The very next month, however, I notice a charge on our account.)

Me: “Hey, [Housemate], did you remove our card information from your game account?”

Housemate: “Yeah, I did that right after the first month’s charge went through.”

Me: “Could you please check again, just to make sure?”

Housemate: “Oh. Apparently, it didn’t remove it.”

Me: “Okay. To be safe, remove it, and also cancel the subscription all together. Then you can renew it with your information. Just send me the confirmation for it.”

(I wait a few days, then check back with him, and he assures me that he confirmed everything was removed, but he never sends me the actual confirmation email. Unfortunately, come October, yet another charge has hit.)

Me: “[Housemate], I have another charge listed on the account. You said you removed our card, didn’t you?”

Housemate: “Yeah, I made sure it was completely removed. It’s charging my account, not yours.”

Me: “Could you please double-check it for me?”

Housemate: “I already removed it.”

Me: “Fine. I guess I’ll be calling the bank, then. Just get me a screenshot of the cancellation record, please.”

Housemate: “Oh, wait. I guess it is mine.”

Me: “What?”

Housemate: “Yeah, somehow I have a double subscription. I’ve fixed it now.”

(I still haven’t received any proof that he resolved it. My husband and I have definitely learned our lesson, though.)

It’s Stressful To Have Multiple Callings In Life

, , , , | Right | November 2, 2017

Me: “Your address?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Well, because it’s not coming from me; it’s coming from the company I work for. Let me call them.”

(The customer calls the company to find out the address she’s shipping from, then gives me the address.)

Me: “Great, thanks. Okay, and the address for where they’re going?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s… I don’t know. Let me call them again.”

(Customer calls the company to find out where she’s shipping to and gives me the address.)

Me: “What’s in the box?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know that either. It was sealed when I got it.” *sigh* “I’ll call them.”

(The customer calls the company to find out what’s in the box she has, then gives me the information.)

Me: *expecting what she’s going to say, and thankful that this is the last question I’ll need an answer to* “And the approximate value?”

Customer: “Um… I guess… Probably about… Actually, let me call them again to find out.”

Better Have A Cast-Iron Excuse For Not Finding It

, , , , | Right | November 2, 2017

Customer: “Can I have an iron?”

Me: “There should be one in your room.”

Customer: “There isn’t!”

Me: “Are you sure? Did you check the closet?”

Customer: “Yes, I did, and there was nothing!”

Me: “Hmm.” *to coworker* “Hey, watch the desk, will you?” *to customer* “Can I go with you to your room and see?”

Customer: “Fine! There’s no iron!”

(We go. I open the closet and there’s an iron in plain view.)

Me: “…”

Customer: “Oh, that closet!” *sees the incredulous look I’m giving him* “Well, I didn’t want to poke around too much! It’s nosy, you know! Thanks!” *pushes me out and slams door*

(I go back to the desk.)

Coworker: “Did you find it?”

Me: *nod* “I’m taking a break.”