Multiple Email Fails

, , , , | Working | June 11, 2017

(I am a communications specialist for a major university. We help faculty and staff update their websites, put out press releases, etc. The start of each semester is always very busy, so we get stretched thin as people panic. Sometimes it’s hard to get everyone on the same page…)

Staff Director: “We need our website updated TODAY with new content. Urgent.”

IT: “Thank you; someone will respond to you soon.” *to my colleague* “Here is the request. It’s for [URL].”

Colleague: *copying me* “My docket’s full today; have [My Name] do it.”

Me: “I can do this, but what is the content? I didn’t get any attachment.”

(No response.)

Staff Director: *emailing an hour after the initial request* “Please update me. This is urgent.”

Colleague: “[My Name], the request is in the email. It’s for [URL].”

Me: *to colleague* “But what is the content they want added? Could someone forward it to me?” *to Staff Director* “Hi, what do you need updated on the website?”

Colleague: *now copying IT* “It’s in the email.”

Me: *to Colleague and IT* “Was there an attachment with the content? It didn’t come through to me.”

IT: “[My Name], go to [URL]. You have access.”

Colleague: *in separate email* “It’s in the email. IT says you have access to edit the website.”

Me: “I know I do, but what am I putting up? There’s nothing in the email.”

(An hour passes. No response from anyone, until…)

Colleague: “Is this done yet? I can’t do it today. Just read the email. You have access to edit their website.”

Me: “What am I editing?!”

Staff Director: *two hours later* “Hi, [My Name], thanks for emailing. Please post immediately. This is urgent.”

(I finally got the document they wanted “urgently” to be put on their website. It takes only a couple of minutes to do so. An hour later…)

Supervisor: “Hey, could one of you handle this? It’s urgent.”

(It’s the same request.)

Me: *emailing everyone at once* “Yes, this one is done.”

Colleague: *responding to my email* “[My Name], everything you need is in the email. Just contact [Staff Director] to find out what the information is.”

Me: *head-desk*

Hoping It Was Just An Act

, , , , , , | Learning | June 11, 2017

At the school I went to, we were required to take either speech class or acting class in order to graduate. I decided to go with acting. I quickly realize I’m going to have serious problems, because the teacher speaks in half-sentences and expects people to know what she means. I can’t decipher the homework instructions and get yelled at if I ask for clarification. She even seems to develop a special dislike towards me. If another member of my team forgets a line, I get yelled at for it. Etc.

One day, we are performing a comedy skit. My entire team nails it! I’m playing the central role, and we get laughs from the whole class. At the post-performance critique, the teacher even praises some of my improvised lines.

The next day, the teacher scolds me, in front of the whole class, for being absent on the day my team performed! All six people I worked with have to vouch for the fact that I was there. She eventually relents, but gives me a bad grade for the project because she says my performance must have been lousy if she can’t remember me being there.

I ended up failing that class. The same teacher taught speech, and I couldn’t cope with the idea of having to deal with her again. Because it was a graduation requirement, I actually had to get a GED instead of graduating.

Credit Of The Dead

, , , , , | Working | June 9, 2017

(My mother was big into mail ordering. When she died suddenly, my sisters and I were trying to clear up her affairs. A package was delivered about two weeks later, and I call the mail order house.)

Me: “We just received a package from you that my mother ordered shortly before her death. I’d like to return it for a refund, please.”

Customer Service Rep: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. Can I issue a credit?”

Me: “No, I’d like a refund check made out to my mother’s estate.”

Customer Service Rep: “Well, we’d prefer to issue a credit.”

Me: “Did you hear me tell you that this person is dead? She’s probably not going to order too much more from you.”

Customer Service Rep: “I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to my supervisor.”

Me: “Well, unless he can bring her back, I’ll have to insist on a refund.”

(I eventually did receive a refund check.)

Will Stick Those Solar Panels Where The Sun Don’t Shine

, , , , , | Working | June 9, 2017

(I’m a manager, and I’ve just transferred from a stand-alone store (with a drive-thru and a dining room) to one located within a shopping centre food court. It’s the middle of our busiest half hour of the day, as the local school kids come for lunch when the phone rings.)

Me: “[Location], [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hello there. How are you this afternoon?”

Me: “Well, thank you. How are you?”

Caller: “Thank you so much for asking. I’m well, too!”

Me: “I’m glad to hear…” *at this point wondering if this is a prank call*

Caller: “By the way, my name is [Caller] and I’m calling from [Solar Panel Company].”

(At this point I recognise the script, having taken these calls almost daily at my old location, On average it would take about five minutes to convince the caller that I can’t agree to install solar panels on our roof, and that anything like that is decided by our corporate offices.)

Me: “Listen, I’m going to stop you right there.”

Caller: *continues with script about government rebates*

Me: “Listen! You’ve called a store located within a food court. You need to do some research before calling random businesses. I do not own the roof or the building. Please do not call this number again.” *hangs up*

Leaving A Negative Impression

, , , , | Learning | June 9, 2017

(I am completing my last chemistry lab of the year. The lab was designed based on a textbook the school no longer uses, so our instructor is explaining how to finish the lab report. This teaching assistant is good at demonstrations, but rarely listens to your questions before answering them.)

Teacher’s Assistant: “So, when copper is the cathode, you make the number negative before you solve the equation.” *points to a number on a piece of paper I can’t see*

Me: “Which number?” *there are two possibilities*

Teacher’s Assistant: “When the copper is the cathode.”

Me: “Yes, but which number do I make negative?”

Teacher’s Assistant: “When the copper is the cathode.”

Me: “I asked which number, not when to do it.”

Teacher’s Assistant: *walks over to me, points and where I wrote “Cu” on my lab report* “You see how there the copper is a cathode?”

Me: “Yes! But, do I make this number—” *points* “—or this number—” *points* “negative!”

Teacher’s Assistant: “The voltage of copper.” *leaves annoyed*

(If it was that easy why not tell me the first time I asked?)

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