I can only work part-time due to chronic illnesses, so to make some extra money, I do artwork commissions. All of my artwork is physical, on paper with Sakura pens and Copic markers. This is stated quite clearly in my bio, and I ask for a physical address for the finished product to be shipped to when I take an order. I can, of course, scan the image into my computer and send a digital file, but with my current home scanner, you’re not going to get the same vibrancy of the artwork as if it was professionally scanned. However, if people ask, I do include a digital file free of charge.

A woman contacts me asking if I can draw her original character in the style of Naoko Takeuchi, who is the artist for the “Sailor Moon” graphic novels. I accept, give a time frame, confirm a delivery address, and take payment.

The artwork comes out rather well, and I prepare it for shipment. I ship all of my work inside a hardback children’s book from the thrift store, which I then include a note asking the recipient to donate. It keeps the post office from bending the artwork, and a book gets donated to a library or charity.

I package it up, label it, ship it out, and send the tracking number to the client.

Good to go, right?

Wrong.

I get a message that night at around 11:00 pm.

Client: “What does this mean?”

Me: “What does what mean?”

Client: “These numbers.”

Me: “That is so you can track your artwork while it’s being shipped.”

Client: “Why did you ship it? You were supposed to email it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you also want a digital copy? I can only do that if I’m informed before shipment.”

Client: “I paid for a digital copy.”

Me: “You bought a physical artwork. I don’t have proper digital art software, as stated in my bio. All of my work is on paper with pen and markers. If you’d asked, I could have tried to scan it into a digital file, but my scanner does not handle bright colors well, and the artwork would be less vibrant.”

Seriously, all of this is explained on my page. I’m fine attempting a scan if asked, but I know it’s not going to be the same quality, which is why I don’t charge anything if people also want one.

Client: “You need to refund me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the artwork has been completed and has shipped. You should receive it in three to five days.”

Client: “No, I won’t! You f****** r****d. Give me a refund!”

Me: “I completed my end of the contract. I will not be refunding you. Once the artwork arrives, I advise you to take it to a print shop, where they may have a proper scanner to create a digital file.”

Client: “If you won’t refund me, send me another!”

Me: “That would require making the piece over entirely again, which you would need to pay for.”

Client: “I’m not paying. You sent it to the wrong address.”

Me: “You gave me the address [address].”

Client: “Because I didn’t think you needed a real address for a digital file. I thought you were just being nosy.”

Me: “It is clearly stated in my bio. If the package is returned to me as undeliverable and you would like to provide me with the cost of postage, I will gladly send it to the correct address. Otherwise, this is out of my hands.”

The client engages in a long string of insults with several slurs.

Me: “I’m blocking you now. If the package is returned, I will get in touch.”

The package was not returned. The client tried to badmouth me, but thankfully, I’ve done work for many of the people she talked to, and all of them were highly satisfied. Several defended me saying that IT WAS IN MY BIO and that they’d just gotten the image professionally scanned and it was all good to go.

So please, read everything in the description before you buy from an artist. And if you have questions or concerns, please ask. I’m happy to include everything, from a digital copy, to the list of the colors I used, to a copy of the inked artwork in case you want to try coloring it yourself. Just please be nice to me and understand that not everyone who is excellent at physical media art can make the transition to digital easily. I’m learning, but it’s taking time, and chronic illness makes it more difficult.

Many years ago, the company I worked in doing radio systems design had a group doing medical systems. A customer approached them with a requirement for a “pill” that was a swallowable endoscope to send back pictures of the small bowel — something that cannot readily be done with a conventional endoscope.

The medical products group had no radio design experience and they “borrowed” me for a three-day meeting in California. My manager, who I didn’t get on with, justified it to his manager by saying, “It’s only three days, and they haven’t a hope in h*** of getting the contract.”

So, off I went to California with a marketing man from Sweden, where the design work would be done, and we got the contract — which proved to be worth about $15 million by the time it was finished. The three days turned into three and half years as other projects appeared, much of which saw me in Sweden and California, and occasionally at my desk in the UK.

Toward the end of this time, layoffs were coming. My UK manager, who I had hardly seen, gave me a review — something he should have done annually but was too lazy to bother with. He said, not knowing or possibly not caring what I had been doing, that I “didn’t contribute” and “wasn’t a team player,” obviously setting me up to be laid off.

Three weeks later when I was in Sweden, the last flight back to London was delayed and I eventually got home at 3:00 am. The following day, Thursday, I didn’t go to work, but I went in on Friday to find a number of strange emails.

That Thursday, there had been a worldwide electronic meeting covering the US, Canada, Sweden, and Japan with subcontractors in Russia, Spain, and Australia. There it was announced that I had been given a $5,000 special award for “contributions to the Medical Products Group design team” — thus the strange emails.

Rather than being laid off, I was transferred permanently to that group, and my old manager took a voluntary layoff!

Karma, indeed…

I work at a company that handles subcontracts for installing specialty materials during building construction. This involves a lot of contracts that will lay out exactly what will be installed, who has responsibilities in which area, when the installation needs to happen, and dozens of other details. I sit near the group that handles those contracts, and I recently got to have a side seat to the following call.

Coworker: *On the phone* “Hello. I am calling from [Company] about [Project]. We have received your contracts, but it seems that some of the documents are missing.” *Pauses* “Yes, we received the main contract, but it listed—” *Pauses* “It list—” *Pauses* “Ma’am, please let me speak. There were several documents listed, and we only received one. We still need [Document #1] and—” *Pauses* “Ma’am…” *Pauses* “Ma’am, no, we have not been sent all the needed documents. We have only gotten—” *Pauses* “Ma’am, do you have a supervisor I can speak with?” *Pauses* “Yes, I am going to need to talk to a supervisor. I— Oh, she hung up.”

Me: “Problems?”

Coworker: “She wouldn’t say anything other than, ‘All required documents are attached to our email.’ She just kept repeating that anytime she actually spoke, except at the end when she said I didn’t need to speak with a supervisor because I had all the needed documents.”

My coworker did end up managing to get in contact with that lady’s supervisor, who got us the documents pretty much immediately and ended up assigning a different contact to work with us. Hopefully, if any other problems crop up, the new contact will be less of a broken record.

We have a page on our website where you can print a [Shipping Company] label to ship used printer cartridges to a recycling center with no shipping charges.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I’m on your website, and I’m trying to print a recycling label, but nothing happens.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. Let’s see what we can do to get that label printed for you. You’re clicking the yellow button that says, ‘Download Prepaid Shipping Label,’ correct?”

Caller: “Yes, and nothing happens.”

Me: “Do you have a popup blocker on your device?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you have an IT department or someone else in your office you can check with? The label opens as a popup tab and if you have a popup blocker, that’s probably blocking it.”

She is calling on behalf of a company account, so it is not unreasonable for her to not know off the top of her head, nor for me to presume that the company had IT people, or at least a go-to computer person in the office.

Caller: “But nothing’s popping up.”

Me: “Yes, I understand, but if you have a popup blocker, that would block the label from popping up. Is there som—”

Caller: *Interrupts* “Nothing’s popping up. I click on the yellow button and nothing happens.”

Me: “Yes, normally the label would pop up, but if you have a popup blocker, it would stop the label from popping.”

Caller: “Oh, a popup blocker. I don’t know if I have one.”

Me: “Is there someone you can check wi—”

Caller: *Interrupts* “Yeah, I think so.” *Click*

I am at the cash register doing a transaction with a young woman.

Me: “All right, your total is [total]. Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: *Mumbles for a few seconds* “No.” *Mumbles again*

I click no receipt and finish her transaction.

Me: “Okay, you are all set. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: *Mumbles* “My receipt?”

Me: “My apologies, I thought you said no. I can print for you if you’d like.”

Customer: *Mumbles*

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m having a hard time hearing you. Would you like me to print your receipt?”

Customer: *Mumbles* “Yes.”

I go ahead and start the process of printing it off which, for whatever reason, involves calling over one of the managers to approve it.

Me: “Just a moment, ma’am. I’ll need my manager to come over to approve it and then it will print.”

It takes a few minutes to get an available manager to come over. There is an entire conversation between the manager and me about printing it in front of the woman. Once it’s printed, I hand it to her, but she stands there staring at the receipt, looking confused.

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I didn’t need my receipt.”

She then threw away the receipt in the trashcan right next to the register. My manager was just as confused as I was.

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 20
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 19
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 18
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 17
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 16