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Getting Down And Dirty About Pricing

, , , , , , | Right | August 26, 2020

I was working at a farmer’s market. The vendor next to me was selling carrots for $1 a bag — pretty good price, excellent produce. A customer whined, “[Big Box Low-Price Grocery Store] has them for $0.79!”

[Vendor] looked him in the eye and said, “I crawled on my hands and knees in the mud to harvest these. They’re a dollar!”

The customer meekly paid and took the bag of carrots.

Not Quite Feline It, Part 3

, , , | Right | August 18, 2020

Customer: “Do you have any books told from an animal’s point of view?”

Me: “I’m sure we do. Let me look it up.”

Customer: “Do you have any that were written by a cat or a horse or a dog or something?”

Me: “Erm, no, sorry. But I can recommend this series about a cat who solves mysteries…”

Not Quite Feline It, Part 2
Not Quite Feline It

The Tale Of The Ping-Pong Package

, , , , , , | Working | August 12, 2020

During the global health crisis, my mother is out of work due to school closures — she works for a school district — so she fills her idle time by making cloth masks for friends and family. She runs out of elastic for straps early on, and since most of the fabric and craft stores in our areas are closed, she places an order online for a roll of elastic. She’s given a tracking number and she waits for it to arrive.

And waits… and waits… and waits…

At first, we assume that the shipment is simply delayed due to the current global crisis; mail and shipments, in general, are slow at the moment. But when she checks the tracking information online a week after the order was supposed to arrive, she finds that the package has gone from the original shipper in Oklahoma to a town in Nevada… to California… then back to Nevada… then to Utah… and then back to Nevada.

Weeks pass, and soon checking the tracking information on this package has stopped being annoying and has become hilarious. Every evening, Mom checks the tracking number and goes “Where will my package end up tonight?” And for whatever reason, it keeps bouncing between random cities throughout the USA and this town in Nevada — a town whose name isn’t even remotely similar to the name of our hometown in Idaho.

Mom does finally contact the company, which gives her a full refund for the wayward package… and the package itself finally turns up on our doorstep over two months later, battered and dirty. I still think Mom got her money’s worth in entertainment just from tracking this package’s back-and-forth journey across the country.

Doesn’t He Know That Redshirts Always Die?

, , , , , , , | Right | July 27, 2020

I work at a pizza place that has an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet and salad bar at a pretty cheap price. Due to the global health crisis, we have added several safety precautions such as no more than six people per table, no moving tables together, and applying hand sanitizer and gloves before using the buffet/salad bar.

One morning, a group of about twenty senior citizens comes into the restaurant right when it opens and they move a bunch of tables and chairs together. It ends up being about fourteen people at one table and five at another. Of course, the only reason they didn’t have all of them at the same table was that there was no room to add another table.

I tell them the policy about no more than six. This guy in a red shirt says, “What are you, the cops?” so I get the manager, but he says to let it slide. It’s not a decision I agree with, but he is the boss. So, I do.

A little bit later, guess who goes to the buffet? Red Shirt Guy. Of course, he doesn’t apply hand sanitizer or gloves, so we tell him to not use the buffet until he does, and he ignores us. When we ask him, he says again, “What are you, the cops?” before, thankfully, doing as requested.

Then, Red Shirt Guy goes to get a salad. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

We ask him, in the interest of the health and safety of the other customers, that he apply gloves and hand sanitizer before using the salad bar.

“What are you, the cops?” Then, he asks if we are going kick him out.

I tell him that I would be happy to ask the manager to do so. I go to get the manager and then the guy tries it again! So, I tell him, louder and firmer, for the interest of the health and safety of the other customers, to please use gloves and hand sanitizer before using the salad bar.

The manager tells him to follow the rules or he will be kicked out. The guy doesn’t cause anymore commotions, and I probably would chalk it up to just another entitled jerk if it wasn’t for the last thing.

A little bit before the Red Shirt Guy leaves, he calls me over and “apologizes.” He says that he just wanted to “push the envelope.” So, basically, he just wanted to see how much of an a**hole he could be before he got kicked out. He never “apologized” to the coworker in charge of the salad bar and buffet who he harassed more than me. What an a**hole.

Egg All Over That Worker’s Face

, , , , , | Working | July 23, 2020

Due to the current health crisis, I’ve been ordering food for delivery more often. Most of it has been great. In particular, I’ve found a nearby burger restaurant that offers egg on the burger, which is something I love thanks to family dinners growing up. So, I’ve ordered it a few times. 

This particular time, however, I got the order and found it lacking the egg, despite the fact that I had paid extra for it. More than that, that particular line on the receipt had been scribbled over with a pen. So, I call to figure out what happened.

Worker #1: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How may I take your order?”

Me: “Hi. I just got delivery from you guys, and I noticed that the egg was missing from my burger. I just wanted—”

Worker #1: “Egg is disgusting! It doesn’t belong on a bur—”

There is a brief sound of scuffling.

Worker #2: “Hi. We’re sorry for the inconvenience; I’ll make sure that your burger gets refunded.”

Before I could say anything else, they hung up. I was left staring at the phone. I considered calling back again, but ultimately, it was just something like sixty cents, so I wasn’t going to make a big stink; I just wanted to figure out if they’d forgotten somehow, or if they’d run out of egg, and if so, if they could refund the extra amount.

They did end up refunding the entire amount of my order, which made me feel a little guilty, but I’m still going to order from them again, so I guess it worked out.