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A Plain Attempt At A Scam

, , , , | Right | March 25, 2021

A lady comes stomping in, already looking angry.

Me: “Hi, how can I—”

Customer: “I want a plain hamburger. Get it? Plain, nothing on it. Burger, bun, that’s it. Can you handle that?”

I plaster on my best Customer Service Smile™.

Me: “Yes, indeed. That is one plain burger, nothing on it. Do you want a combo with that or just—”

Customer: “Ah, ah, ah! I said I wanted just a hamburger. No extras!”

Me: “All right. One hamburger, nothing else, will be [price].”

She reaches into her purse and pulls out the exact change for the burger, with tax. After I put that in and hand her her receipt, she keeps standing there, looking at me.

Me: “Was there anything else?”

Customer: “Uh, my cup?

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Here you go.”

I hand her a water cup, which she looks at like it is a giant slug.

Customer: “I need my cup for soda.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. You asked for only a burger. A drink would be [extra price], or [second price] with fries for a combo.”

Customer: *Practically bellowing* “Of course, I want soda and fries! Give me my cup!”

Me: “Okay, that will just be [second price].”

Thanks to so many people doing this sort of thing, our manager has a special program in the register that can put through fries and a drink at the “combo” price without us needing to refund the burger or do something fancy. It helps that we only have one soda and fry size.

Customer: *Still yelling* “Why would I pay for your mistake?! Give me my cup!”

My manager walks over from where he’s been handling shakes for a different order.

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry for the confusion, but I heard you ask for just a burger. If you want the combo, you will need to pay the extra cost.”

She continued to glare at us for a few moments before reaching into her purse and pulling out the exact change, again, for the extra amount that the fries and soda cost, plus tax. I processed it, handed her the cup, and she stomped over the soda fountain. Given how quickly she was able to produce the exact change, I personally think that this was a deliberate attempt at a scam on her part.

Who Agreed To This Deal?!

, , , | Learning | March 14, 2021

I’m working at a summer camp. We are doing staff training the week before the kids arrive. In this training session, we are discussing safety.

Camp Director: “For every camper that gets hurt, three counselors will get hurt.”

After a couple of moments…

Counselor: “Oh, you meant statistically.”

Literally No One Is Paid Enough To Deal With This

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2021

I am a pagan lesbian working as a call center agent. In particular, it’s my job to talk to customers who, in some capacity, requested contact regarding a transaction or feedback. This particular call type typically takes around forty-five minutes, so that, combined with the general office drama, means that management’s expectations are low.

I have just gotten through the final part of a call with a lonely old woman who got on so many tangents that the call has taken almost two hours. I have been as nice as I can, but I’m mentally reeling in exhaustion, when she drops this gem on me.

The woman is talking amicably about her niece’s family, and then, suddenly, her tone changes to a really threatening and angry sound.

Woman: “You know, dear, [Political Figure] is the antichrist. I can’t believe that it’s allowed now for gay people to, you know! Ugh! Those gays shouldn’t be allowed to get married.”

I snap out of my stupor.

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, can you say that again?”

Woman: “Didn’t you hear? Gays are allowed to marry! It’s so revolting! I hate gay people. They’re all going to burn in Hell!”

Me: *Failing to stop myself* “Stop pretending you’re good enough to judge others on God’s behalf. Jesus loves everyone, especially gay people!”

I hang up on her and then remember I’m at work and look in horror toward my supervisor, who is staring at me like I’ve grown another head.

Supervisor: “Since I could hear you, I have to flag the call. I thought you said you believed in, what was it? Like, trees and the moon? What was that about?”

I’m embarrassed, and I figure this is how I get outed at work and then fired. 

Me: “Well, uh, she said gay people are going to Hell, so I just—”

[Supervisor] puts her hand up to stop me. 

Supervisor: “Oh, no. I get it. My brother is gay. I’ll make sure it’s in the system that she’s an abusive caller. Even if she calls back to complain, it won’t go anywhere.”

My coworkers were very supportive of my relationship with my girlfriend, and my coming-out at work inspired a couple of others to come out of their shells! I didn’t end up working there too long, though, because call center work is really miserable.

You Think YOUR In-Laws Are Invasive?

, , , , , | Related | January 23, 2021

Before getting married, I met my husband’s parents a few times. They were friendly enough, but we ended up spending a lot more time with my family, and it was only later that I realized why.

One big red flag was the fact that, one week before our wedding, his parents called and left a voicemail to tell us that they were actually going to be going on a Mediterranean Cruise that week, that they’d miss us, and that they hoped we’d have fun. I was shocked, but my husband just shrugged and accepted it, and we ended up having a lovely ceremony and moved into our own little two-bedroom house.

Then, around three months after the wedding, there is a knock on our door, and when we answer it, we find his parents standing on our front porch with suitcases in hand, and with a moving truck parked in our driveway.

Husband: “Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. What are you doing here?”

Mother-In-Law: “We’re moving in!”

I am standing right behind my husband, and I am stunned. I don’t deal well with conflict, and I start dreading what sort of fight we’ll have to have to tell them no when they’ve apparently already packed up to move in. My wonderful hubby, however, just smiles and speaks in a calm and cheerful voice.

Husband: “No, you’re not.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, but it will be so convenient. We can—”

My husband cuts her off by stepping forward and wrapping her in a hug. He then proceeds to hug his dad, before stepping back and putting a hand on both of their shoulders.

Husband: “Mom, Dad, I love you both, but you are not moving in with us. Especially not with zero notice. We’d love to have you over for a short visit, maybe next weekend, but you are not moving in with us.”

He then gives them both another hug before turning and walking back inside and then closing the door behind them, leaving them both standing out on the porch. He then crosses right to me, wraps me up in a hug, and buries his face in my hair.

Husband: *Muttering* “Now you see why I wasn’t too broken up about them not being at the wedding.”

They did end up leaving, and thankfully, they haven’t tried something like that again.

This story is part of our Best Of January 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of January 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of January 2021 roundup!

The Price Has Gone Up In Smoke

, , , , , | Right | January 13, 2021

I work for a small grocery store chain. A lot of our customers are regulars, and I’ve learned several people’s rewards numbers and/or usual orders of smokes and alcohol. There has just been a small price increase on some smokes.

Me: “Your usual two-pack of blues?”

Customer: “Yep, you got it.”

I grab the packs of smokes and ring them up.

Me: “Your total is $11.18.”

The customer hands me two fives and then stares at me.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, maybe I didn’t say it clearly, but your total is $11.18; you only handed me $10.00.”

Customer: “Oh, $11.18, my bad.”

He hands me another dollar and stares at me expectantly.

Me: “So… do you have eighteen cents?”

Customer: “Nope, only a dime.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, I can put one pack back if you need, since you still owe eighteen cents. Nobody has left change yet today.”

Customer: “So, you mean to tell me you won’t sell me my smokes? It’s eighteen cents, kid! It’s not my fault prices went up!”

I’m twenty-two, mind you.

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t just short my till every time someone is a few cents short; it adds up. You’ve got to pay your total or there’s nothing I can do to help you. I’m really sorry. The prices went up about a week ago. I thought you knew when you bought your packs yesterday.”

The customer huffs and throws another dollar at me. I ring him through and give him his change and a receipt.

Me: “Have a nice day! Sorry again!”

Customer: *Disgruntled old man huff*