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Sometimes Those Do Require Some Management

, , , , , | Working | August 18, 2017

I’m working one day when a high school-age girl walks in and hands me a filled-out job application. Despite the fact that we don’t require a resume to apply here, she’s gone ahead and stapled one to the application. I thank her and duck into the back to put the resume on the manager’s desk.

Despite myself, I risk a peek at the girl’s resume. She has a previous job at a different fast food restaurant listed under “job experience,” and it looks as if one of her prior duties was “managing afternoon shifts.”

Unfortunately, she left the “f” out of the word “shifts.”

She didn’t get the job, but we all had a good laugh over the typo.

Worth Dipping Into Your Slush(ie) Fund For

, , , , | Working | June 30, 2017

(Our library is scheduled to be closed for a day while we do some renovations — moving shelves and furniture and doing some painting to prepare a new area. This renovations day happens to fall on my day off.)

Coworker: “Are you sad that you won’t be here to help us with stuff?”

Me: “Haha… no.”

Coworker: “I bet you have big plans for your day off, huh?”

Me: “Oh, yes. I’m going to buy me a big Slushie and come to the library, and stare through the window and watch you all work while I slowly drink it in front of you.”

Coworker: “…I hate you.”

It’s Time To Borrow A New Excuse

, , , , | Right | June 21, 2017

(Our library policy is that you must either provide your library card or a form of photo ID to check out items or use a computer. A patron comes in, selects a few DVDs, and comes up to the front counter.)

Patron: “And I don’t have my library card or my ID, so just look me up by my last name.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re going to need either your library card or your photo ID to check out your items.”

Patron: “You know who I am! I’m in every day! Why can’t you just check me out?”

Me: “I’m sorry; it’s our policy.”

Patron: *points at a new coworker who has only been working a few weeks at this point* “Well, SHE checks me out all the time without my card! Isn’t that right?”

Coworker: *deer-in-headlights look* “Uh…”

Me: “I’m afraid it’s against our policy. Would you like me to hold your DVDs for you, and you can check them out the next time you come in with your card?”

Patron: *angrily throws the DVDs across the counter at me* “Never mind!” *storms out*

(The coworker was apologetic, saying she’d never seen this woman before and had no idea what she’s talking about. Sadly, this isn’t the first time someone has used the “but so-and-so lets me check out without a card” excuse, and it’s unlikely to be the last…)

You Can’t Beat Traditional Parenting  

, , , | Right | June 16, 2017

(The phone rings at the front desk, but when I answer it I just hear it hanging up, so I call back to make sure everything is okay.)

Me: “This is [My Name] at the front desk; did you just try to call?”

Guest: “It must have been one of my kids. I’ll go beat them now.”

They Couldn’t A-Ford Him

, , , , | Romantic | December 23, 2016

(My husband and I got tickets to see a play about Christmas shortly after Thanksgiving. The play is about to start and they make an announcement.)

Announcer: “Please remember to silence your cellphones and no photography during the performance. We are also pleased to announce a special guest appearance by Harrison Ford!”

(The audience laughs since this is a musical performance at a small theater attached to a high school. About 15 minutes into the performance, my husband leans over and asks the following.)

Husband: “So, when is Harrison Ford going to show up?”

Me: “Um… That was a joke…”

Husband: *slightly disappointed* “Oh…”


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