Unfiltered Story #159103

, | Unfiltered | July 25, 2019

I work for the reception at an insurance company. I’m alone when this happens. An elderly couple walks in, the husband disoriented wandering away from the counter.

*me*: can I help you?

*wife*: dear, we have to use the machine (goes to the ticket machine, husband following)

a young woman enters, and comes straight to me

*customer #1*: Hi I’m looking for travel claims?

*me*: you’ll have to take a number, I’m afraid. Lets just wait for them to finish and i’ll …

another customer has now entered, and, standing at the back, yells at me

*customer #2*: who can help me, I just had a car accident!

customer #1 has moved to the back of the old couple, who are still trying to figure out the ticket machine, hopelessly.

*me*: you’ll have to take a number, please, with the claims department

she barges in front of the old couple, distracting the husband, so he wanders over to me

*husband*: I have some …questions … about insurance

*customer#2*: what do I press?

*me*: give me just a second, sir (to customer#2) press claims services and then press automobile claims

she takes her number and walks in the wrong direction

*me*: (to customer #2)… and they will call your number over here (I gesture to the opposite end of the lobby. She obeys.)

the wife now approaches me, allowing customer#1 to use the machine. she looks just as baffled by it

*wife*: we need some information about our insurance policy

*me*: give me just a second, (to customer #1) Pick claim services and then travel claims

*customer #1*: ok, thank you

*me*: you will have to take a number for that, please pick customer service, and then press next available

the wife goes to the machine, dictating what she’s doing. The husband still stands over me, mumbling about insurance.

Meanwhile the two other customers have gone, so I assume their numbers have been called, when a rep from car claims comes up to me

*rep*: I got a number, is it them?

*me*: no, they’re going to customer service

I look around and see customer #2, who had his number, sitting at the far side of the office with a rep from property claims

*me*: that’s your customer over there

*rep*: you gotta make sure they take the right number, [name]

*me*: I did, she has your number (to the couple) your number will be called in a second, thank you

*rep*: be more careful next time, please, We’re busy over here (storms off)

*me*: (to myself) and I’m not?

Unfiltered Story #159101

, | Unfiltered | July 25, 2019

*me*: [insurance company], how may I help you?
*caller*: What??
*me*: [insurance company]? [me] speaking
*caller*: (sounding as baffled as I am) I was gonna order some timber, I don’t do that from you, now do I?
*me*: no, ma’am, I guess not
*caller*: I thought it was weird, the lumber yard never picks up the phone as fast as you did
*me*: (unsure how to respond) no, well … thank you
*caller*: well, anyway (hangs up)
odd thing is, she would have to go through nearly a 2 minute answering message, saying that we’re an insurance company before she got to me

, , , | Right | March 28, 2019

(I live and work in Iceland.)

Customer: “Do you have international busses?”

Me: *thinking I misheard* “Sorry, a bus for where?”

Customer: “You know, for Scotland or somewhere outside of Iceland.”

Me: “You realize this is an island? You can’t drive to another country from here.”

Customer: “Not at all? What about busses that drive onto ferries that take you somewhere?”

Me: “It takes a few days to sail to the next country.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “So, no. No, we don’t have those.”

Customer: “Not in the whole country?”

Me: “I mean, we’re just one company. You can try asking at the tourist information, but…” *the customer walks off* “…I highly doubt it.”

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There’s A Zero Percent Chance That’s True

, , , | Learning | January 26, 2019

(My sister is writing her dissertation about land-use.)

Sister: “There’s zero percent settlement in Iceland.”

Me: “What?”

Sister: “See this pie?” *shows me* “Iceland consists of fifty-three percent grassland, thirty-nine percent other (that would be the mountains and glaciers), six percent wetland, one percent forestry, one percent cropland, and zero percent settlement. There IS a sliver in the pie; it’s obviously zero-point something, but they’ve listed it as zero percent.”

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Unfiltered Story #124638

, | Unfiltered | November 1, 2018

(In this store, you can reserve a game or a console, but if you don’t claim it in two weeks, it’s not reserved anymore and anyone can buy it)

Me: Hello, do you have a Nintendo Wii?

Cashier: Yes, we do. But, unfortunently, the only one we have in stock is reserved for someone else. Although, if she doesn’t claim it in 2 days, you can have it.

(Two days later, I return and the Wii hasn’t been claimed. I buy it and take it home. A few weeks later, me and my mother return to the store and hear something quite interesting…)

Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE IT? I RESERVED THE DAMN THING!

Cashier: Ma’am, I told you like 5 times you were supposed to claim it within two weeks and now it’s been over a month. Someone else bought it.

Woman: WHAT KINDA BULLSHIT IS THAT? WHO THE HELL DID IT? WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY NINTENDO WII?

(Tired of her crap, I speak up)

Me: That would be me, and if you don’t shut your damn mouth, grow the hell up and try again later, I will have to teach you a lesson.

Woman: YOU SON OF A BITCH! I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

(Shaking my head, I dodge a punch from her, grab both her arms and squeeze them really hard. Just a heads up, my hands are REALLY strong)

Me: Now, are you gonna go quietly, or should I crush all the bones in your arms?

Woman: Argh… YOU!!!

(By this time, the police arrive and take statements. The woman is arrested and banned for life from the store. I got to take 5 Wii games home with me for free. This goes to show that you should be on time to claim your stuff!)