American Culture Sure Is A Picture Show

, , , , | Friendly | February 18, 2019

(I am an American living in Mexico in the 90s. I’m ice skating with my girlfriend when “The Time Warp” comes on the PA.)

Me: “Oh, this is from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Girlfriend: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s an American movie about a transvestite scientist who creates a Frankenstein-like man to be their personal sex slave. But it turns out the doctor is an alien. In the US they have midnight showings of the movie, where the men wear women’s underwear and people say all these crazy quotes and throw things at the screen.”

Girlfriend: “I see.”

(It was then that I learned there are some concepts that simply do not transcend cultures.)

1 Thumbs
342

Slipping Past All Logic And Reason

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2019

(I work in an ice rink, helping kids learn how to skate and doing birthday parties. Our rink is notorious for not being cold enough and the quality of ice not very good, which leads to it being quite wet and melted on busy days. On this particular busy day, I am helping out a child along the barrier when two ladies struggling along the barrier just behind me call out to me.)

Woman #1: “Excuse me. Do you work here?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, I do. What can I help you with?”

Woman #2: “Can you make the ice less slippery?”

(I stand there dumbfounded for a few seconds before replying, not quite sure if they are being serious or not.)

Me: “Well, the ice is a little melted today, but at the end of the day ice is ice. There’s not much I can do to make it less slippery.”

Woman #1: “Well, they should figure out a way to make it less slippery!”

(After that, I just turned back to the kid I was helping, trying to contain my laughter.)

1 Thumbs
315

In Review: They’re Awesome!

, , , | Hopeless | April 4, 2018

(I work at an ice-skating rink as a trainer, and I also help people who are having trouble free-skating. A girl comes in with her boyfriend, and it’s fairly obvious they’ve never skated before. They’re having a great time laughing and dancing, and even when they fall, they laugh it off and get up. I give them a few tips here and there, but I focus my work on some of the younger kids who are frightened. An hour or so later, as free-skate is ending, the girl approaches me.)

Girl: “Hi. I was just wondering if I could speak to your manager?”

Me: “Oh, of course! Let me go get him.”

Manager: “What can I do for you today?”

Girl: “I just wanted you to know that [My Name] was absolutely amazing! We had a great time, and she was always everywhere at once to help anyone who needed it. Without her, we wouldn’t have had nearly as much fun!”

Manager: “I’m glad to hear that! We don’t get many compliments in this line of work, but they really do help to gauge our performance. [My Name] is only a couple of good reviews away from a bonus!”

Girl: “So, is this one of those places that gives bonuses based on guest feedback?”

Manager: “Yes, it is!”

Girl: “And do you count the feedback based on groups or individuals?”

Manager: “Well, there’s no real way to tell if the people who have come in were part of a group or not, once you write the review down.”

(After a couple of minutes of thinking, the girl and her boyfriend each wrote a review, thanked us, and walked out. Later on that week, my manager got a call from her asking when I would be working next, and on that day she brought in nearly thirty people! My manager gave them a group discount, and they all had a great time. At the end, the girl made each and every one of them write a review for me. I ended up getting that bonus, and a promotion on top of it! If you read this, thank you so much for being so awesome!)

1 Thumbs
869

Skating Around The Answer

, , , , | Right | January 22, 2018

(I work at an ice rink and one of my duties is to pass out ice skates to customers.)

Me: *talking to approaching customer* “Hi, sir! What size skates can I get for you?”

Customer: “I need skates for my son, please.”

Me: “Okay, sure thing. What size is your son?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *pause* “Neither do I.”

(The customer walked off, frustrated.)

1 Thumbs
581

Short Nights Lead To Short Temper

, , , | Right | December 4, 2017

(I work at my local ice arena as a facilities attendant. My duties are pretty much janitorial. I am responsible for cleaning the change rooms as soon as possible and as many times as needed, keep the place looking presentable, and once everyone’s gone, doing a mad dash to clean the remaining change rooms, bathrooms, lobby, and sweep and mop the bleachers. We’ve been short-staffed lately, and because of this, I’ve had to pull in extra shifts, including what we call, “short nights,” meaning working an evening shift [4:00 pm to 12:30 am], then a day shift [7:30 am to 4:00 pm]. Last weekend I actually had to work from 3:30 pm to 1:00 am, then get back to work by 6:30 am as there was a hockey tournament starting. This is a conversation between a parent and I.)

Parent: “Hey, miss?”

Me: “Yes? Can I help you with anything?

Parent: “Oh, no. I was just wondering, weren’t you here last night?”

Me: “I was, actually. We’re short staffed at the moment, so I don’t mind.”

Parent: “Wow! Even if you’re short-staffed, you shouldn’t have to come in this early!”

Me: “I really don’t mind. It’s been a steady grind, so as long as I don’t sit down, I won’t pass out from exhaustion.” *cue my awkward, dry, laugh*

Parent: “That’s stupid! Why haven’t you complained? Aren’t you protected under the Union?”

Me: “Actually, every single worker here HAS complained. We have begged and pleaded with the town to not book any games with a start time before 8:30 am, as hockey players tend to arrive 45 minutes before games start. Yet the parents yell at the coaches that they want earlier start times, and the coaches book it accordingly. It’s completely out of our hands. All we can do is show up, unlock the doors, and wait for all of you to leave so we can clean up the mess. Which, by the way, meant that we were here until 1 am last night.”

(At this point I recognize her as a b****y council member and get even more p***ed off.)

Me: “If you were actually interested in my well-being, you would bring it up in council meetings that town workers are being pushed too far because of ice bookings. You’d help us petition to have the latest ice time be the 9:00 pm to 10:00 pm slot, not all the way up to 11:45. You’d convince the other parents to ask for a slightly later morning slot, instead of one that means I have to wake up at 5:30, after less than two hours of sleep, to get here at 6:30 to unlock doors. I know you don’t really care; you know you don’t really care. Now, please, it’s time for flood, and I have to help out with that.”

Parent: “…”

(I didn’t hear a peep from her the rest of the day. I think she told the other parents, as after that, everyone made sure that there was nothing for me to clean up afterwards. One of the other hockey team’s coaches also brought us coffee and muffins, as well, so that was a good boost. This weekend I have to pull another short night, with similar hours. Wish me luck.)

1 Thumbs
895