The Cake Is Not A Lie

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m making a banana split, when a woman frantically rushes over to me, waving her hands up and down.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, is everything all right?”

Customer: “Yes, yes, I just have a question.”

Me: “Okay, what is your question?”

Customer: “These cakes in this case over here, the mint one… does it have cake in it?”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Customer: “Does this cake have cake in it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, the cakes contain cake.”

Freely Fraudulent

| Vallejo, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

Customer: “Hey, could I get a sample of the Rocky Road ice cream?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I give the customer a small sampler spoon of Rocky Road.)

Customer: “Yummy! Hey, could I get a bunch of these samplers, scooped in a cup?”

Me: “Uh, sure?”

(I grab the scoop and start to put Rocky Road in a cup.)

Customer: “NO, NO, NO, NO! I wanted a bunch of free samples scooped in a cup!”

Me: “…You want a free cup of ice cream?”

Customer: “YES! HOW HARD WAS THAT TO UNDERSTAND?!”

Me: “Sir, I cannot give you free ice cream.”

Customer: “It’s not free ice cream. It’s a whole bunch of free samples!”

Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change

| NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

(The following happens when a well-dressed man comes in with bags full of sweets and gifts.)

Customer: “What’s your favorite flavor?!”

Me: “I like the lemon.”

Customer: “Then, give me that! A large! It’s for my wife!” *shakes with excitement*

Me: “I guess those presents and sweets are for her, too?”

Customer: *shakes with even more excitement* “YES! Yes they are!”

Me: “Here you go. That will be five dollars—”

Customer: *unable to contain himself* “MY WIFE IS PREGNANT! PREGNANT! I’m going to have a little son or daughter! HIGH FIVE!”

(The customer proceeds to high five me over the register and throws a bill onto the table.)

Customer: “I’m going to be a dad! Keep the change!” *skips out of the store*

(The bill he threw? It was $50!)