Not The Brightest Of The Bunch

| NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am standing at the front counter next to the bowl of bananas we have for making smoothies. A customer in his mid-20s approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Hey, do you sell any bananas?”

Me: “Yes, we do have bananas. However, we cannot sell them to you as we need them for our smoothies.”

Customer: “Great! How much for one?”

Me: “They’re not for sale; we need them. There is a shopping center close by. If you go there, they can sell you bananas, and cheaply too.”

Customer: “Okay… then how much for a banana smoothie?”

Me: “That will be $4.99 for a small, and $5.99 for a large.”

Customer: “Okay… can I get a banana smoothie, but can you not ‘smoothie’ it?”

No Catches Get Pasteurize

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(Our store sells pints of ice cream.)

Customer: “I’ll take three pints of vanilla.”

Me: “Well, we currently have a special running, so you can have four pints for the price of three. What would you like for your fourth pint?”

Customer: “So if I get one more pint it won’t cost me any more money?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “Well, I don’t do deals. It’s obvious that if you buy something on sale it’s because the original price is already inflated. So I only buy things at regular price.”

Me: “Umm, well it would be the same price, so it would be a better value to have four.”

Customer: “Well, I know there’s some catch somewhere! Only give me three.”

Me: “Umm, okay, as you wish.”

Customer: “Good! I won’t have you ripping me off!”

Short-Change Con Falls Short Of Change

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

(I’m working the register. A customer comes to the register with three ice creams.)

Me: “So, is this it for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, sir.”

Me: “Alright your total is $12.75.”

(The customer hands me a $20 bill. I hand him his change.)

Customer: “Where’s the rest of my change?”

Me: “I gave you your change already, sir.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t! I gave you a $100 bill. You’re shorting me $80!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that you paid with a $20 bill.”

Customer: “No you can’t, because I paid with a $100 bill! How can they let an incompetent dip-s*** like you handle money? This is a disgrace.”

Me: “Sir, the only disgrace here is you. For starters, company policy states that we can not accept bills larger than $50. If you did give me a $100 bill, I would refuse it and ask for a smaller bill. On top of all that, the $20 you gave me is still on the counter right next to the register.”

(The customer goes silent, and quietly exits the store. He has not been seen at our store since.)