Customer: “I would like a double scoop of chocolate.”
Me: “So you want both scoops chocolate? Or one scoop of chocolate and one of something else?”
Customer: “Oh, I get two scoops?”
Me: “In a double scoop? Yes.”
Customer: “I’m so excited!”
This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!
(I work at a marble slab creamery. It is a type of ice cream store that allows customers to mix in candies, cookies, etc. with their ice cream while it’s kept cold on a frozen marble mixing slab.)
Customer: “Hi there. I was just wondering what the name of this store meant. I never understand these metaphor names.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, the name is about as literal as it gets. We mix the ice cream on a marble slab.”
Customer: “Oh, so it’s an allegory.”
This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!
(Today’s featured ice cream flavor of the day was ‘Boston Pie’.)
Me: “What kind of ice cream would you like?”
Little Girl: “A scoop of the Boston Massacre, please.”
Father: “Sorry. That’s what she’s studying in school right now.”
This story is part of our Hilarious-Kids roundup!
Read the next Hilarious-Kids roundup story!
Read the Hilarious-Kids roundup!
This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!
Customer: “I’d like a scoop of chocolate.”
Me: “Cup or cone?”
Customer: “Do you have any edible cones?”
Me: “All of our cones are edible.”
Customer: “Can I take it with me on the beach?”
Me: “All cones are entirely portable.”
Customer: “Do you have any that don’t crunch?”
Customer: “Excuse me.”
Me: “Yes?”
Customer: “You only have 28 different flavors of ice cream. You’re supposed to have 31 flavors.”
Me: “Ah, yes. The company dropped the ‘flavors’ thing over a decade ago. Some smaller stores have as few as 16. The larger store downtown has 40 flavors. I should point out we do have four flavors of frozen yogurt as well, so that’s 32.”
Customer: *angry* “That’s false advertising! Your sign says ’31 flavors’! You’re supposed to have 31 different flavors!”
Me: “Ma’am, like I said. They dropped ‘flavors’ from the logo and signs over a decade ago. This store is less than eight years old. If you can find something that says ’31 flavors’, I will give you a quart of ice cream.”
Customer: *pointing* “Right there! Are you blind? Thir-ty-one f-l-a-v-o-r-s!”
Me: “What portion of it says ‘flavors’?”
Customer: “It’s right there! Under the 31!”
Me: “Look at the sign. Tell me what it says.”
Customer: “I don’t need to look at the d*** sign to… oh.”
(She pauses.)
Customer: “Oh. Pint of mint chip, please.”
This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!
