(I live in Canada. I have just finished ringing in a customer and am returning her change. Among the coins is a “toonie,” a Canadian $2 coin.)

Me: “There you go, ma’am. Enjoy the rest of your day!”

Customer: *holding up toonie* “Um, what is this?”

Me: “That’s a two dollar coin, ma’am.”

Customer: “But what am I supposed to do with it?”

Me: “Well, it’s legal tender in all of Canada. So, er, buy stuff with it?”

(The customer is now visibly agitated.)

Customer: “Well, I’m leaving tomorrow!”

Me: *becomes forcefully polite* “Oh, how are you getting home? By airplane?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, then, you can buy yourself a coffee at the airport! Have a nice day!”

(We frequently get customers who are confused by Canadian currency. They either demand to be given American change, or assume the currency is actually some sort of token that’s only valid on the boardwalk.)

Related:
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 5
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 4
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

I took my son and his friend to a restaurant that specializes in ice cream. They have one item in particular made of soft serve mixed with an assortment of toppings. Their gimmick is to turn the cup upside down as they present it to the customer to demonstrate how thick their ice cream is.

My son’s friend had never been there and didn’t know this. As the girl behind the counter handed him his ice cream, she turned it upside down. It must have been mixed wrong or something, because it was watery and his ice cream was poured out onto the counter.

The poor kid had no idea what just happened. From his perspective, she walked up to him, smiled, and dumped out his ice cream!

I work at a local ice cream shop. During the summer, it is insanely popular. Every day there is a line that goes out the door. It is a weekend, and we are trying to move people along. The policy is to keep the line moving down so others have a chance to see the selection of ice cream.

A customer asks me for a double scoop of moose tracks and I get it for her. As I hand it to her, she refuses to take it, saying it is too much. I explain to her that I can’t put it back and this is what she ordered, but she denies the ice cream.

As this is going on, there is another worker explaining to customers they have to keep moving the line down. This customer loses it and starts yelling at my coworker, saying she is being rude and pushy even though she was only following the policy.

The manager has just started his shift, and talks to the customer, but she yells at him and storms out. I have to throw away the ice cream — which is worth ten dollars — and everyone is upset and confused. A few minutes after the incident, her husband comes in and apologizes for her behavior.

And then, a few moments later, I learn that that nightmarish woman is our state representative.

(The customer in this story never actually raises his voice, but he speaks very intensely and slowly the whole time, practically leaning over the counter, looking me in the eye as much as possible.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Only if you print it.”

(I pause, confused.)

Customer: “I only want it if you print it.”

(Thinking he means that he doesn’t want it emailed, I print the receipt. Hesitantly, I hand it to him.)

Me: “You said you wanted it?”

Customer: *shaking head* “No, ma’am, I didn’t. I said I only wanted it if you printed it.”

(I try to draw the receipt back to throw away, but he reaches for it.)

Me: “I didn’t understand what you meant.”

Customer: “I don’t know why; I say that to some people, and they just don’t print it, and I say it to others and they print it. I don’t get what’s so confusing about it, maybe you can tell me what I’m saying that’s confusing.”

Me: “I just didn’t know if you didn’t want it emailed…”

Customer: “No, I didn’t want it emailed, I only wanted it if you had to print it, because I have to destroy it. And I don’t want you to throw it away, because I don’t want someone finding it and getting my information. So I have to destroy it. But I don’t want to destroy it because I want to save a tree. I’d like to save a tree.”

(I nod as he finally leaves, and the next customer comes up, rolling her eyes and laughing quietly.)

(I am standing in an ice cream shop where I am the only other customer besides a mother who is perusing the flavors with her young child. There are two girls behind the counter, one of whom is fixing my order.)

Mother: *pointing to the colorful confetti one that attracted the kid’s attention* “How is the birthday cake flavor?”

Employee Helping Her: “It’s disgusting.”

(The other girl elbows her, and she tries again.)

Employee Helping Her: “Um, I mean… It’s disgusting how delicious it is. It’s nauseatingly good.”