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They’ve Been Spoon-Fed Their Whole Life

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Our ice cream shop mixes all of its 36 flavors ourselves in the back of the store, some of which are unique to the very small franchise, so we offer small taster spoons of flavors to customers so they can decide on their flavor.)

Me: “What can I get for you today, sir?”

Customer: “Can I taste your chocolate peanut butter brownie?”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I reach into the pint container of clean taster spoons on the inside of my service window and grab a spoon to serve the customer his taste. The customer puts the spoon in his mouth and eats the ice cream.)

Customer: “I’ll just have a small chocolate.”

(I went to scoop his ice cream. While I was doing that, he opened the CLOSED service window, reached inside and deposited his USED spoon in the pint container of CLEAN spoons we use to serve all the customers. There was a little trashcan right outside the window just for this purpose. I stopped what I was doing and just stared incredulously at the customer. After serving him I ended up throwing the entire pint container of spoons away – obviously.)

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Banana Split Of Opinion

| King of Prussia, PA, USA | Food & Drink

(Our standard banana splits are made with vanilla ice cream, chocolate, pineapple, and strawberry sauces, peanuts, whipped cream, and a cherry. We always ask people if they would like to change the flavors or toppings before we start making the item.)

Customer: “I’d like a banana split.”

Me: “Okay. We usually make that with vanilla ice cre—”

Customer: “No. No. No. I want it with two scoops of strawberry on either side, and one scoop of vanilla in the middle. No toppings but the strawberry sauce, and whipped cream but no cherry.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I proceed to make the banana split. Ice cream goes down first, then the sauce, then half a banana split long ways down either side, then whipped cream. I bring it to the window.)

Me: “Here you go. Will that be all?”

Customer: *disdainful look* “Yes… That’s all.”

(He pays and I give him his change. He is about to walk off.)

Customer: “You know you did this all wrong, right?”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Customer: “I’ve been coming here for five years and they’re never like this.”

Me: “I’ve been working here for a few years and this is how I was trained to make them. What is it that you don’t like?”

Customer: “The banana is on top of the ice cream. I’ve been coming here for five years. It’s supposed to go on the bottom.”

Me: “Like… under all the ice cream?”

Customer: “Yes. How am I supposed to get to the ice cream without touching the banana when it’s like this?”

Me: “I think the point is to be able to eat the ice cream and banana together.” *points at poster of banana split on store front* “See? That is how we make them here. If you would like me to remake it, I’d be happy t—”

Customer: “No. I’ve been coming here for five years. This is all wrong.”

Me: “Would you like me to refund your money?”

Customer: “No. No. NO. This is just wrong, though.”

Me: “So you don’t want a replacement item and you don’t want a refund?”

Customer: “No.” *continues to stand at counter blocking the next customer in line*

Me: “I’m sorry but beyond remaking the item and a refund, there’s not really anything I can do. Would you like to speak to my manager?”

Customer: “No.”

(He continued to stand there for another minute, looking down, flaring his nostrils at his ice cream, blocking the next customer in line. Finally he moved away. Ten minutes later, I saw him throw his empty carton out. I guess he found a way around the banana.)

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The Only Weight I Want To Lose Is The One Behind Me

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am a customer in this story. I also am only 14, and look really young. I’m in line by myself.)

Me: *to cashier* “Hi! Can I have a kid soft serve and a small chili cheese fry?”

Woman Behind Me: “NO!”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “Well, what do you want?”

Me: “…I want a kids soft serve and a small chili cheese fry.”

Woman Behind Me: “I told you, no!” *to cashier* “Make that a large ice cream, and a double chili cheese fry. Also, get her a large sundae.”

Me: “But… I don’t want that!”

Woman: “Just get it.”

(The cashier leaves to make the food, while I’m in shock.)

Woman Behind Me: “So, how old are you? 10?”

Me: “I’m 14…”

Woman: “Pshh. Already counting calories? Trying to lose weight?”

Me: “…”

(The cashier comes out, holding the sundae, large ice cream, and a double order of fries.)

Me: “I can’t pay for this…”

Woman: “Kids these days, making adults pay for everything they want. Wait here. I’ll get more money.” *she walks away*

Me: “Can I have my food now?”

Cashier: “What do you mean?”

Me: “My food, not what that lady ordered.”

Cashier: “Listen, your mom knows what you should eat. Listen to her.”

Me: “I have never met that lady before.”

Cashier: *awkward pause* “I’ll change your order…”

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You’re Being An Awesome Somebody

| USA | Awesome Customers, Popular

(I’m buying ice cream and checking out; there is a customer in front of me.)

Cashier: “That’ll be $4.25.”

Customer: *snootily* “Um. Do you know who I am?”

Cashier: “No?”

Customer: *shrugs* “No one important. Keep the change.” *hands a $10 bill and leaves*

(The cashier couldn’t stop laughing. Most amusing part of my day.)

Raspberry Lie

| Manchester, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am restocking cones when a man comes in with his little girl and starts looking at the ice creams with her, trying to help her decide. A minute or so later this happens:)

Dad: “Ooh, look at this one. Do you want this? ‘Raspberry ripple,’ that’s vanilla with strawberry in it!”

Me: “…”

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