Tine To Find A New Job

| Miami, FL, USA | Working | July 8, 2013

Me: “Excuse me, can I get another spoon please? I accidentally dropped mine.”

Waitress: “Sure thing!”

(She comes back with a fork.)

Waitress: “Here you go!”

Me: “Umm… a spoon. I need a spoon.”

Waitress: “I don’t understand. I gave you that.”

Me: “Yes, but this is a fork. I can’t eat ice cream with fork. I’m gonna need a spoon.”

Waitress: *looks dumbfounded*

Me: “You know… a spoon… to scoop the ice cream with?”

Waitress: “Oh!”

(She comes back excitedly with an ice cream scoop with her.)

Waitress: “Sfoon!”

1 Thumbs
1,166
VOTES

No Catches Get Pasteurize

| WI, USA | Right | June 27, 2013

(Our store sells pints of ice cream.)

Customer: “I’ll take three pints of vanilla.”

Me: “Well, we currently have a special running, so you can have four pints for the price of three. What would you like for your fourth pint?”

Customer: “So if I get one more pint it won’t cost me any more money?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “Well, I don’t do deals. It’s obvious that if you buy something on sale it’s because the original price is already inflated. So I only buy things at regular price.”

Me: “Umm, well it would be the same price, so it would be a better value to have four.”

Customer: “Well, I know there’s some catch somewhere! Only give me three.”

Me: “Umm, okay, as you wish.”

Customer: “Good! I won’t have you ripping me off!”

1 Thumbs
1,480
VOTES

Forgetting Please, Thank You, Movement, Shooting And Assault

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Related | June 23, 2013

(I’ve taken my five-year-old niece to the shops to get some ice cream which gives my little sister some free time. The family has been teaching her how to ask for things politely, with moderate success. My niece orders her ice cream, remembering at the last moment to say please. As the lady serving us, there is silence.)

Me: “And what do you say to the nice lady now that she’s given you your ice cream?”

My Niece: *at the top of her lungs* “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!”

(I crack up laughing, and the poor serving lady is shocked. I have no idea how my niece learnt about Khorne from Warhammer, but I’m very glad she has!)

Short-Change Con Falls Short Of Change

| CA, USA | Right | April 15, 2013

(I’m working the register. A customer comes to the register with three ice creams.)

Me: “So, is this it for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, sir.”

Me: “Alright your total is $12.75.”

(The customer hands me a $20 bill. I hand him his change.)

Customer: “Where’s the rest of my change?”

Me: “I gave you your change already, sir.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t! I gave you a $100 bill. You’re shorting me $80!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that you paid with a $20 bill.”

Customer: “No you can’t, because I paid with a $100 bill! How can they let an incompetent dip-s*** like you handle money? This is a disgrace.”

Me: “Sir, the only disgrace here is you. For starters, company policy states that we can not accept bills larger than $50. If you did give me a $100 bill, I would refuse it and ask for a smaller bill. On top of all that, the $20 you gave me is still on the counter right next to the register.”

(The customer goes silent, and quietly exits the store. He has not been seen at our store since.)

1 Thumbs
3,000
VOTES

Brain Is Not In Moperation

| Canada | Working | April 8, 2013

(We have recently hired a new coworker, and this is my first shift with her.)

Me: “[Coworker], could you go mop?”

Coworker: “I don’t know how.”

Me: “Okay. Just take the bucket over to the mop sink, fill it up with hot water, and add dish soap and a splash of bleach.”

(My coworker does so, so I go around and start doing the other closing duties. A few minutes later…)

Coworker: “What do I do now?”

Me: “You mop the floor with the water.”

Coworker: “But I don’t know HOW to mop!”

Me: “…You just move the mop across the floor.”

Coworker: “Can you do it for me?”

(Needless to say, she did not last a month.)

Page 13/28First...1112131415...Last
« Previous
Next »