Kindness Can Make Your Heart Melt

| Europe | Working | January 26, 2013

(I’m at an ice cream shop at a busy mall, though the shop is pretty empty.)

Cashier: “That’ll be [price].”

(I hand him my card.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but we only take cash.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Could you put my ice cream aside? I’ll run to the ATM outside.”

Cashier: “But then you’ll have soup and not ice cream! Eat, and when you’re done go to the ATM.”

Me: “Are you sure? I can be quick at the ATM!”

Cashier: “No! Enjoy your ice cream! No one likes melted ice cream!”

(I finish my ice cream as quickly as possible and then go to the ATM.)

Cashier: “See? I knew you would come back!”

(Now I go to that shop every time I’m downtown—and I always remember to go to the ATM first!)

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Getting Heated About A Lack Of Heated Food

| PA, USA | Right | January 7, 2013

(I work at a soft serve ice cream shop. The building has a window to serve people outside, as the inside is rather small. A woman literally drives up to the window.)

Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t a drive through. Can you please park the car and order then?”

Customer: “Do you have cheeseburgers?”

Me: *confused* “Ma’am, this is an ice cream store. We don’t sell any hot foods.”

Customer: “Do you have hot dogs?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we have no hot dogs, cheeseburgers, or anything hot. But I’m sure that the restaurant down the road has those?”

Customer: “Can I have a large order of fries?”

Me: “Ma’am we don’t have fries.”

Customer: “Can I have a fish filet with ketchup?”

Me: “Ma’am, please: we don’t have any fish, fries, chicken, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, pasta, or pizza.”

Customer: *gives me a creepy stare*

Me: “Ma’am?”

(The customer yells incomprehensibly, stomps on the gas, and does a donut in the parking lot before speeding away.)

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The Cake Is Not A Lie

| TX, USA | Right | October 15, 2012

(I’m making a banana split, when a woman frantically rushes over to me, waving her hands up and down.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, is everything all right?”

Customer: “Yes, yes, I just have a question.”

Me: “Okay, what is your question?”

Customer: “These cakes in this case over here, the mint one… does it have cake in it?”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Customer: “Does this cake have cake in it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, the cakes contain cake.”

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Freely Fraudulent

| Vallejo, CA, USA | Right | October 3, 2012

Customer: “Hey, could I get a sample of the Rocky Road ice cream?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I give the customer a small sampler spoon of Rocky Road.)

Customer: “Yummy! Hey, could I get a bunch of these samplers, scooped in a cup?”

Me: “Uh, sure?”

(I grab the scoop and start to put Rocky Road in a cup.)

Customer: “NO, NO, NO, NO! I wanted a bunch of free samples scooped in a cup!”

Me: “…You want a free cup of ice cream?”

Customer: “YES! HOW HARD WAS THAT TO UNDERSTAND?!”

Me: “Sir, I cannot give you free ice cream.”

Customer: “It’s not free ice cream. It’s a whole bunch of free samples!”

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Good News For (A Heckuva Lot Of) Change

| NY, USA | Right | August 23, 2012

(The following happens when a well-dressed man comes in with bags full of sweets and gifts.)

Customer: “What’s your favorite flavor?!”

Me: “I like the lemon.”

Customer: “Then, give me that! A large! It’s for my wife!” *shakes with excitement*

Me: “I guess those presents and sweets are for her, too?”

Customer: *shakes with even more excitement* “YES! Yes they are!”

Me: “Here you go. That will be five dollars—”

Customer: *unable to contain himself* “MY WIFE IS PREGNANT! PREGNANT! I’m going to have a little son or daughter! HIGH FIVE!”

(The customer proceeds to high five me over the register and throws a bill onto the table.)

Customer: “I’m going to be a dad! Keep the change!” *skips out of the store*

(The bill he threw? It was $50!)

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