Brother From The/Is The Same Mother

| Newington, NH, USA | Uncategorized

(One day, my brother stopped by my work to chat. He is about 6 feet tall, broad shouldered, has short hair, and a beard. A customer comes in, so I say goodbye to my brother and he leaves.)

Customer: “What a funny looking girl!”

Me: “Umm…that was my brother.”

Customer: “That was your mother?!”

Me: “Uh, no. My brother.”

Customer: “Oh…*places order*

Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 5

| West Orange, NJ, USA | Food & Drink

(This takes place a few months before I leave for college. A lot of the kids working at the store are leaving for college soon, too. One of my coworkers has written “Tips for college kids” on the tip jar. A young mother walks in with her kids on a slow afternoon. After she reads the tip jar, this exchange happens.)

Customer: “Tips for college kids…I have a good tip. Stay away from tequila.”

Me: “Why’s that, ma’am?”

Customer: “I went through a lot of margaritas my freshman year. Now I can’t even look at tequila without feeling sick. Just stay away from it!”

Me: “Don’t worry ma’am. I’ll stick to vodka.”

(And yes, she did leave a nice tip!)

Related:
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 4
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 3
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 2
Be Careful What You Ask For

Piece Of Cake

| Hillsboro, OR, USA | Food & Drink

(Note that I am not the cake decorator at my store. I have no clue how to build or frost cakes. On this particular day, I am working alone.)

Customer: “Is this ice cream cake vanilla flavored?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s vanilla ice cream on white cake.”

Customer: “What do you mean, white cake?”

Me: “I mean, there’s white cake inside.”

Customer: “There’s cake in there?”

Me: “Um, well, yes. It is an ice cream cake. It’s made with ice cream and cake.”

Customer: *looking distressed* “Oh…but, I don’t want cake! I want all ice cream! Can you take the cake part out for me?”

Me: “Um, well, I’m not the decorator, so I don’t think–”

Customer: “Just take out the cake part, frost it really quick, and I’ll buy it like that. It can’t be that hard.”

Me: “So…you want me to scrape all the frosting off, take out the cake and throw it out, and then re-frost it for you real quick?”

Customer: “Is that not possible?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but no.”

(She ends up buying the cake anyway, but complains under her breath the entire process.)