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Brain Freeze

, | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am about to order ice cream for my two young children. An older lady holding a cone rushes in front of us and pushes my three-year-old out of her way.)

Customer: “Hey, watch your kid!”

(She turns to the cashier.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but this ice cream is just so frozen it’s not even funny.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like me to get a new one?”

Customer: “Yes. And make it less frozen!”

(The cashier gets her another ice cream. She takes a lick and drops it in the nearby trashcan.)

Customer: “This is also too frozen! You have terrible service!”

Cashier: “Well, ma’am, the thing about ice cream is that it tends to freeze. The best advice I have for you is to wait until it melts.”

(The customer stomps off.)

Cashier: *to me* “You know what ice cream is, right?”

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Ice Screaming For Some Proper Parenting

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work in an ice cream shop. All the employees here generally work shifts alone during the winter, since it’s not busy.)

Customer: *after buying ice cream for her two young kids* “Excuse me, I have to run over to [Grocery Store down the block]. Can you keep an eye on these two?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I have other work to do.”

Customer: “Just make sure they don’t get into trouble! I’ll be back in, like, 20 minutes.”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am, I have work to do in the back.”

Customer: “What are you doing in the back?”

Me: “Dishes.”

Customer: “That’s fine; just pop out to the front every few to make sure they’re not wandering off! Please?”

Me: *trying to stay polite* “I’m at work; I can’t be responsible for a customer’s children. I have to do my job.”

(I went to the back before she could bargain further. When I came back out later to help another customer, she’d left her kids anyway.)

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Murdering Your Opinion

, | VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Popular

(I work six hour day shifts on summer weekdays. As long as everything is clean and full, we’re allowed to read a book. I’m reading quietly, but set my book aside as the lone male customer approaches. I take his order, and we’re waiting for his card to go through when this happens.)

Customer: *gestures to book, the cover of which is hidden* “So, what trashy romance novel are we reading today? Twilight? Fifty Shades of Grey?”

Me: *silently holds up the book so he can see the title, which is “Murder on the Orient Express” by Agatha Christie*

Customer: “Oh… That’s a classic.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Now let me get you your ice cream.”

(Being pretentious about books is obnoxious. If he hadn’t been a customer I would have said something, but I could tell he was embarrassed when he left.)

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