It Was All In Vain-illa

, , | Right | April 18, 2019

(A couple approach the counter at the ice cream shop where I work. Every flavour we stock is on display, clearly labelled.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Male Customer: “Hmm… what flavour is this one here?”

Me: “Mango.”

Male Customer: “Yes, I can read that, but what does it taste like?”

Me: “Mangoes.”

Male Customer: “Uh. You mean the fruit mango?”

Me: “Yes.”

Female Customer: “I don’t think you would like that.”

Male Customer: “No, no.”

Female Customer: “He doesn’t really like fruity flavours.”

Male Customer: “No, I don’t like fruity flavours.”

Me: “Well, down this end we have non-fruit flavours. Chocolate, coffee, rum and raisin, butterscotch, mint…”

Male Customer: “Ugh, no, not mint.”

Female Customer: “Well, I would like something different. I always get strawberry. What do you have other than strawberry?”

Me: “We have twenty-four flavours.“ *indicating the display directly in front of them* “How about I give you some sample spoons of some of my favourites?”

Female Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want to trouble you like that.”

Male Customer: “No, no, no trouble at all.”

Female Customer: “We don’t like getting something for nothing.”

Male Customer: “We’re upstanding people! Say, what’s this here?”

Me: “Nutella, that one is really nice.”

Male Customer: “Nutella. That’s hazelnut, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Male Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t like nuts.”

Female Customer: “He doesn’t like nuts.”

(Awkward silence.)

Me: “Would you like a moment to make a decision?”

Female Customer: “Oh, no.”

Male Customer: “No, we’re not picky. Say? What’s a plain flavour?”

Me: “Vanilla?”

Male Customer: “VANILLA!”

Female Customer: “Two vanillas, that sounds nice.”

Me: “In a cone or a cup?”

Female Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: *pointing at the items* “Cone. Cup.”

(Awkward silence.)

Male Customer: “Does the cup come with a spoon?”

Me: “Yes.”

Male Customer: “Oh, that’s handy!”

Female Customer: “Yes, that’s very handy!”

Male Customer: “That’s good, that’s good! Two CUPS! Of VANILLA!”

Me: “Okay, coming up!”

Female Customer: “Well, that was nice and easy!”

Me: “…?”

This Encounter Really Accents Their Differences

, , , , , | Friendly | April 15, 2019

I am Hispanic, and I’m doing tourism in southern Canada. My spoken English is far from perfect, but so far, native speakers have had no problem understanding me.

At one point, I go buy an ice cream… and the Asian lady behind the counter doesn’t know what I’m saying. After a few tries, I realize the problem: her English is lacking, too. She can’t decipher my accent and I can’t decipher hers. We just laugh and communicate with mimic and pointing for the rest of the transaction.

This S*** Is Delicious!

, , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(A woman has been waiting in line for a few minutes.)

Woman: “What is this?”

Me: “Chocolate flavour.”

Woman: “It looks like someone s*** in a tin.”

Me: “Could you please moderate your language? There are children within earshot.”

(She turns around and sees a kid eating chocolate ice cream.)

Woman: “You’re eating someone else’s s***.” *leaves*

(Strangest customer I’ve ever had.)

Unfiltered Story #141258

, , | Unfiltered | February 20, 2019

(My work is a seasonal place. We are open from March to October. This situation happens about a month and a half into our new season. The phone rings and the Lady asks for the manager right away so my coworker gives me the phone.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Lady: “Are you the manager?”

Me: Yes Ma’am.

Lady: “So, my husband and I came last summer to get some treats, and we also got a water.”

Me: “Okay….”

Lady: “But we got charged for the water. I think we got charge a buck or a buck fifty! I can go to a restaurant and get free water AND a lemon, but you charged us.”

Me: “Well I am sorry that happened, we don’t charge water here, so I am a little shocked it that this happened.”

Lady: “Well, we just don’t know if we can ever go there again… I just want to know do you charge for water?”

Me: “No ma’am, we don’t charge for water unless you ask for bottle water.”

Lady: “Well, maybe I can convince my husband to go again.”

(We never sell water here, so I was curious to see if she even had the right store.)

Me: “Out of curiosity ma’am, where are we located?”

Lady: “(Names location of a different store than ours)”

Me: “Like I said Ma’am, we have never charged for water here.”


Me: “Absolutely nothing. You called the wrong store. We weren’t the ones that sold you water.”

Lady: Uh….*Click*

Vanilla Just Doesn’t Cut It Anymore

, , , , | Right | February 14, 2019

(I work at an ice cream shop in a tourist town that’s busy even during the colder months. As such, we get a lot of people in, some not so bright. We have an extensive menu, and a lot of options, so as far as sundaes go there is a minimum of about 180 possible combinations, not including if a customer asks for multiple toppings. One day, I am training a new coworker, and I come across this one customer…)

Customer: “Can I get a sundae?”

Me: “Okay, would you like that small, medium, or large?”

Customer: “Um, small, I guess.”

Me: “And what toppings would you like on that, or did you just want a plain cup of vanilla ice cream?”

Customer: “I said a sundae.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I need to know what toppings you would like. We have a list of flavors on the menu right next to you.”

Customer: “You know, with the hot fudge and peanuts and whipped cream… You know what? Never mind! I’ll just get a medium cone of vanilla!”

(The customer stormed off and let his friend finish the rest of the order and pay. I’m still not sure how I was supposed to know all of that from just the word “sundae,” but I’m sure with enough experience I’ll learn how to read minds!)

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