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Find Your Own Chips, Lady

, , , | Right | April 30, 2022

I work at a grocery store, but there’s a much cheaper store across the street where I do most of my shopping. Sometimes when I run into regular customers across the street at the cheap store, they’ll laugh and call me a traitor.

Only once did anyone mistake me for an employee of the cheaper store. She shouted at me from like four aisles away:


I just rolled my eyes. If she’d asked me like I was a human being, I’d have helped her. I don’t work there, but I know where the chips are. But if you’re going to yell at me, h*** no.

Some People Have Never Been Told “No” And It Shows, Part 3

, , , , | Right | April 29, 2022

I am in a store whose uniform includes red T-shirts. I’m carrying a tray of coffees. I am wearing my pajamas, with an oversized black sweatshirt with a large gaming logo on it. A woman shopping in an aisle calls out to me.

Woman: “Excuse me, ma’am!”

I stop and look over at her.

Me: “Yes?”

Woman: “Are you a manager?”

Me: “Um, no.”

Woman: “Oh, sorry! You just look like one carrying all those coffees. Are you sure you’re not a manager? If you’re off the clock, that’s fine.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t work here.”

Woman: “Oh, well, could you get me someone who does?”

Me: “I’m with my family, so…”

Woman: “It won’t take you even a minute. I’ll stay around here. Thank you, sweetheart!”

She goes back to shopping. I continue to the back of the store to my family and completely forget about the woman as my family and I look at the games.

When we get up to check out, I see the woman wandering nearby. When she gets near, she spots me.

Woman: *Sternly* “You didn’t tell anyone where I was, did you? I was waiting for fifteen minutes, and no one came by! I had to find someone myself!”

My family looks at me weirdly for a second, wondering what is happening.

Me: “Sorry, but I told you I didn’t work here and that I was with my family.”

Woman: “Hmph! So much for chivalry and respecting elders.”

She walks away.

Sister: “What the f*** was her deal?”

Me: “She wanted me to get someone for her, and she’s mad I didn’t.”

Dad: “Okay, f*** her, then. Not your problem.”

Me: “Yeah, well…”

Some People Have Never Been Told “No” And It Shows, Part 2
Some People Have Never Been Told “No” And It Shows

Smells Like Retail Spirit

, , , | Right | April 28, 2022

I was once shopping at a store when some woman stomped up and demanded that I help find a certain item for her.

Me: “No, I don’t work here, so I wouldn’t know if they sell that or not.”

Woman: *Snarling* “You’re just lying in order to get out of working! Help me or I’ll call a manager.”

Me: “Go ahead. You know, employees here wear vests with nametags; I’m in a T-shirt and jeans. You’d better check your attitude if you’re going to get any help whatsoever.”

She screams at a passing manager and tells him to fire me.

Manager: *Confused* “I don’t know him, so he doesn’t work for us.”

She cursed at both of us for bad customer service and stomped out of the store while shrieking that she was never shopping here again.

Manager: *To me* “You work retail?”

Me: *Chuckling* “Yep!”

Manager: “I think she could smell that all over you!”

We shared a good laugh.

A Major Lack Of Observational Skills

, , , | Right | April 27, 2022

I was at a store with an ex once. I had just gotten off work at a dining facility on the local military base. My ex and I were standing in the candy aisle debating which bulk candy we wanted. A soldier walked up to me.

Soldier: “Where is [item]?”

Me: “I don’t know. I’m looking at candy to buy.”

Soldier: “Oh. It’s just that you look familiar.”

Me: “That’s probably because you saw me at dinner two hours ago.”

He left me alone after that.

Honk If You Don’t Work Here

, , , , , , | Right | April 20, 2022

I am an assistant manager at our store. I’ve just started for the day when I hear a disturbing noise and take off toward it. I come around the corner to see a typical surfer dude in board shorts and a tie-dye T-shirt next to a middle-aged woman. The surfer dude is laughing maniacally and yelling at the top of his lungs.

Surfer:Honk! Dee daa dee daa! Hooooooooooooonk!

Woman: *Equally loud*You will respect me! Get me your manager! I will have you fired!

Me: “Both of you, please, stop. You’re disturbing other customers and scaring people!”

Surfer: “Sorry, man, I told her, like, um, a dozen times I don’t work here, and she just won’t stop bothering me.”

Woman: “Stop lying, you worthless piece of s***! You will respect me! You will do your job! I will have you fired!”

Surfer:Honk! Sorry… I tried communicating with her, but she’s just too crazy!”

Me: “Ma’am, he does not work here. Please leave him alone. And, sir, please, stop honking and just walk away! I am so sorry you’ve had to put up with this.”

Woman: *Turning on me* “No! He will not leave! He will do his d*** job! You’re in it with him! I will have you both fired! You won’t get away with this!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t stop screaming immediately, I will have to have you removed from the building and will call the police. Whatever the issue, nothing justifies your behavior. Please stop shouting!”

At that time, the surfer dude turns and starts walking away. The woman immediately shrieks and rams her trolley into him. He’s a big guy, but she sends him flying and he cuts himself as he falls.

Woman: “You will not leave! You don’t turn your back on me! You will respect me!”

The surfer stands up dripping blood and starts walking toward her with murder in his eyes. Where moments before he’d been calm and laughing, he is suddenly very menacing. Fortunately, security arrives and various other people step between him and her.

Surfer: “That’s assault. She assaulted me and I am pressing charges. Call the police now.”

With security there, she was prevented from leaving, and when the police arrived and saw the video, she was arrested and charged with common assault and public nuisance. My manager gave the surfer dude a voucher for his troubles and he told us (backed up by video) that he had repeatedly told her that he did not work for us but she had followed him around the store for fifteen minutes yelling at him until he started honking back. Some people are just crazy.