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You Help One Person…

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Wat_am_3y3 | May 27, 2022

I had just moved to the city and had just started working at a bank. I didn’t have the company apparel yet but had a good amount of business clothes, plus I like dressing nice. I was done early that day, so I figured I’d stop to do some clothes shopping.

I was shopping around the store in the business attire section — in my business attire, so one could guess why there would be confusion. This lady who only spoke Spanish asked if I spoke Spanish and if I could help her. I said yes and asked what she needed.

Lady #1: “¿Sabes donde están las maletas?” *Do you know where the suitcases are?*

Me: “Perdón, señora, yo no trabajo aquí, pero creo que están en el primer piso.” *Sorry, ma’am, I don’t work here, but I think they’re on the first floor.*

We both laughed and she commented on how nice my clothes looked. It made me blush a little bit — I’m self-conscious and she thanked me for helping her.

Less than a minute later, another lady came up to me and demanded in a not-so-nice way that I get her another coat with matching pants in a particular size, asked why we had suits mixed up, and insisted specifically that I get her a f****** dressing room since she had no idea why we only had two open in the middle of the health crisis.

I explained to her that, 1) we were in a health crisis, 2) I didn’t know s**** about suits; I just wear them, and 3) I didn’t f****** work there.

Lady #2: “Of course, you f****** work here. Why else would you be dressed like that?”

Me: “Because I like dressing nice, and frankly, it’s none of your business.”

Lady #2: “Well, I saw you helping the other lady! Stop lying!”

Me: “Because she was nice. Maybe you should try it every once in a while.”

At this point, one of the actual workers saw what was going on and intervened. We both happened to be in the changing room later (different stalls), and she started going off on the phone about how a “rude employee” refused to help her.

When I was done trying on new suits, she was talking to the manager about me, and she exclaimed, “That short one!” when I walked by! The manager was like, “Who is that dude?”

I just laughed and paid for my clothes.

Never Listens, Problem Solved Anyway

, , , , , | Right | May 26, 2022

I’m having a coffee in a mostly empty ice cream shop when I need to use the restroom. A woman is leaning against the wall next to the restroom door, doing something on her phone. I don’t want to try the door in case she was waiting for it, so I approach her.

Me: “Excuse me, but are you in line for the restroom?”

Woman: “I don’t work here.”

Me: *Genuinely confused* “I didn’t ask if you worked here. I’m asking if you’re wai—”

Woman: “I SAID I DON’T WORK HERE!”

With that, she stormed off, so I tried the restroom door. It was vacant.

“Off The Clock” Means Nothing To These People

, , , , , | Right | May 26, 2022

I work at a coffee shop, and one day, I was sitting in the shop working on my homework off the clock; I just needed to be not home. A regular came directly up to me while I was sitting down, out of the way, eating my food and studying.

Regular: “I placed an order for [Regular] over the phone and I need it now!”

I take a moment and look around before I tell her:

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not actually working at the moment, but I’m positive one of the workers will be more than happy to help you, provided you ask them at the counter.”

This was apparently not the answer [Regular] was seeking.

Regular: *Loudly* “You are so rude not to help me! I want your name and your current shift lead’s name to call the manager.”

When the shift lead hears what’s going on, she tries to help [Regular] and explains that I am not working that day. Unfortunately, [Regular]’s experience has been ruined.

Regular: “I want a refund, and I want my drinks!”

When she was told that was not possible, she said:

Regular: “Fine! Then I want this employee to pay me emotional compensation!”

Me: *Politely* “There’s no way in h***.”

And I left.

She called the store for WEEKS because an employee was rude to her and she expected me to be fired.

Sandwiched Between Anger And Confusion

, , , | Right | May 26, 2022

I work in a [Sandwich Chain] inside of a [Big Box Store]. One of my friends gives me a [Big Box Store] lanyard so I can stick my keys and stuff on it. I get off work one night and decide to do some shopping.

A customer proceeds to whistle at me like a dog. She does this for a minute or two before she decides to walk over to where I am.

She starts screaming at the top of her lungs at me for not asking if she needed help.

After letting her rant herself out:

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t work at [Big Box Store].”

Screaming Woman: “But you have one of those necklaces the people that work here wear!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am also wearing a neon orange shirt with [Sandwich Chain] across the front — and the back — in huge letters.”

Screaming Woman: “That’s beside the point! You’re wearing a [Big Box Store] necklace, so that should be all I need!”

As I tried to process the nonsense level of that statement, she huffed and stormed off without another word.

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 44

, , , , , | Right Working | May 25, 2022

I, and several friends, are in a [Big Box Store] far from home, some time ago. For the record, I’m black, as are my friends.

I am looking at cookware, totally oblivious to most of the world around me. Out of nowhere, an old white lady begins to screech at me, demanding that I get a box down from a high shelf. 

Me: *Clearly and precisely* “Ma’am, I don’t work here.”

I go back to my shopping.

The woman launches herself down the aisle at me, screaming at the top of her lungs, saying things about how I’d better do what she says or she’ll have me fired. Now I’m annoyed, but I’m also curious to see what she’ll do next.

She reaches me, raises her little handbag as if to strike with it, and then stands there like that, as though I’m supposed to cower. I’m halfway between disgusted and wanting to pee myself with laughter. I cross my arms and look at her, only a little “bring it on” in my eyes. I mean, she’s barely up to my chin.

A manager comes running, apparently having heard the screeching. 

Old Lady: “The [n-word] girl didn’t come when I called. What are you going to do about it?”

The manager, apparently not too bright a bulb himself, immediately begins to dress me down, yammering about how the customer is always right and how dare I. Eventually, he winds down.

I stick out my hand for the manager to shake.

Me: “Hi. We’ve never met. My name is [My Name]. We’ve never met because I don’t work here!

I then hand him, one at a time, all the things in my hands, which I intended to purchase, so he’s standing there, mouth hanging open, with this awkward armful of product.

Me: *To the manager, very calmly* “You’re an idiot.” *To the old lady, smiling* “Piss off, you decrepit old hag.”

By this point, we’ve drawn a bit of a crowd, including my friends who were several aisles away when it all began.

Me: *To my friends* “We will not be purchasing anything here, as apparently, [n-words] aren’t particularly valued, as customers or employees.”

Everyone in my friend group promptly abandoned everything they’d been carrying, and we all walked out the door empty-handed. I don’t know if the manager tried to call after us, as I had a ringing in my ears that blocked out anything else but my own anger.

We never returned to that location since it was far from our homes, but we did make a phone call about what had happened to us. The store practically fell all over themselves apologizing and promising to take care of it.

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 43
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 42
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 41
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 40
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 39