I worked for over two decades for a large corporation. Their policy (as stated in their Human Resources Policy Employee’s Manual) for bereavement time off for deaths in the family was as follows:
- For immediate family: five days, plus the day of the funeral.
- For non-immediate family: one day, plus the day of the funeral, or up to three total days, at the discretion of the employee’s manager.
Immediate family was defined as: “Parent, grandparent, sibling, child, step-child, spouse, in-laws, and any relative living in the same residence as the employee.”
The non-immediate family members were defined as: “Uncle, aunt, first and second cousin, either by blood or marriage relationship.” Additional time off could be granted at the discretion of the employee’s manager up to three days total.
My older brother died when I had been working for them for seventeen years. My brother died on a Tuesday morning, so I took the rest of that day, plus Wednesday through Friday, and then the following Monday and Tuesday. According to HR, the Tuesday my brother passed did not count as a day off since I was in the office that day, in addition to the fact that I didn’t leave the office until around 11:00 am. His funeral was held on the following Saturday, so I took the Friday before as the “day of the funeral day”, since his funeral was held during a weekend.
It’s worth noting here that my supervisor was notorious for twisting company policy to suit her needs, or to screw us out of our rightful time off, or whatever the case was, because, for whatever reason, she wanted things her way and always to her advantage.
Upon my return, my supervisor insisted that I “was only entitled to one day off, plus the day of the funeral” because my brother did not live in the same residence as I did. She had already changed the other four days of my bereavement leave to vacation time. Our conversion went like this.
Me: “That’s not true. The HR policy manual says that a sibling is considered an ‘immediate’ relative, and I get five days plus the day of the funeral, or the day before or after if the funeral is held on a weekend.”
Supervisor: “If they live at the same residence.”
I pulled out the HR Employee Policy Manual, which I had at my desk, and even showed it to her.
Me: “No, that’s not what it says here. It says, ‘Immediate family applied to: Parent, grandparents, sibling, child, step-child, spouse, in-laws, and any relative living in the same residence as the employee.’”
Supervisor: “Yes, he did not live in the same residence as you, so you get the one day, plus day of the funeral.”
Me: “The same residence rule applies to any relative that’s not an immediate family member, provided that they live in the same residence. Immediate family members do not have to live in the same residence for us to get the five days plus day of the funeral.”
Supervisor: “It says the relative has to live in the same residence to get the five days off.”
Fed up with her nonsense, I called HR and put them on speakerphone, with my supervisor standing right by me.
Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Department]. You are on speakerphone with my supervisor, [Supervisor]. She seems to be confused about the bereavement leave time. My brother passed away a week ago Tuesday, and [Supervisor] insists that I only get one day bereavement leave because my brother did not live in the same residence as I do. She already changed four days of my bereavement leave over to vacation days.”
HR: “Okay, I’ll clarify the policy for her. [Supervisor], you are listening, correct?”
Supervisor: “Yes, I am here.”
HR: “Mr. [My Name] is correct. Siblings count as immediate family, and he’s entitled to the full bereavement leave of five days, plus day of funeral. Immediate family members do not have to live in the same residence. That rule only applies to non-immediate family members. You will please change Mr. [My Name]’s leave time back to bereavement leave instead of vacation time. I think the policy as stated in the employee manual is pretty clear on this.”
Supervisor: “Oh, okay. I’m sorry, I misunderstood. I guess I misread it.”
HR: “Okay. Mr. [My Name], please let me know if you have any other questions!”
Me: “Thank you!”
She didn’t misunderstand anything. She just wanted things her way. This time, she didn’t win.
Several months later, my supervisor’s great uncle died in Barbados. Guess who insisted that she was entitled to five days plus day of funeral bereavement leave?
