Books Should Categorized By Cover Color

, , , , , | Right | November 29, 2018

Customer: “I’m trying to find a book about the University.”

Me: “You’ve come to the right place. Let me show you our local interest section.”

(I do so, and the customer looks for the book they want.)

Customer: “I don’t see it.”

Me: “Well, maybe we can special order a copy. Do you know the book’s title?”

Customer: “No, but it’s green.”

Me: “That’s one of our school colors.”

Customer: “Well, it’s about this big.” *motions with his hands*

Me: “Um… I’m going to talk to my manager.”

(I walk into the back of the room. My manager is talking to a semi-retired teacher in his sixties.)

Me: “I have a customer that’s looking for a book, and he only knows that it’s green and about this big.” *motions with hands*

Senior Employee: “Oh, he means that book.”

Me & Manager: “Huh?!”

Your Card Is Bad And So Are You

, , , , , , , | Right | August 20, 2018

(I am working as a cashier at a popular superstore.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, your card declined. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “What the h*** did you do? Try it again and this time, don’t touch it!”

Me: “Of course. Slide your card again, please.”

Customer: *slides card*

Me: *presses button to process card*

Customer: “I said don’t touch it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have to press the button, or the transaction will not process. I’m sorry, the card is still declined. Do you have another card you want to try?”

Customer: “My card is good! You are doing this on purpose! Run it again, and this time don’t you dare press that f****** button, you dumb b****!”

Me: “Please, there’s no need for that; there are children here. We can try again if you’d like, but I will need to press the button, and I don’t think the outcome will change.”

Customer: *slides card while grumbling under her breath*

Me: *presses button to process card*

Customer: *screaming now* “I told you not to press that d*** button. Are you deaf or just stupid?! Get me a manager now! I will have your job!”

(My manager is nearby and has heard most of the exchange.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “This b**** keeps pressing her little button and making my card decline! I want her fired immediately!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I hate to inform you of this, but there is no button she can press to make your order decline. There must be a problem with the card or with your bank; you will need to use another card, or I can set your items aside if you want to come back at another time. ”

Customer: “F*** all of you! You’re a bunch of liars! My card is good! MY CARD IS GOOD!”

(The customer continues screaming, cursing, and destroying displays until security removes her from the store.)

Manager: *to me*  “Go ahead and take your break a little early tonight.”

Mouth-y Mom And Tongue-y Tyke

, , , , , , | Right | August 19, 2018

(I am working as a cashier when a woman and little girl, maybe five years old, approach my register. The woman begins to unload her items while staring intently at her phone and ignoring the little girl. The girl starts running back and forth along the register belt with her tongue on the edge of the belt.)

Me: “Oh, sweetie, don’t put your mouth on that. It’s very dirty; you could get sick.”

Girl: *stops and looks at me, confused*

Woman: *looks up and gives me a death glare* “How dare you correct my child?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just that I don’t get to clean the register often, and people touch it and put packages of raw meat and other items like that on it all day. It’s probably covered with germs.”

Woman: “Look. No one tells my kid what to do but me; just keep your mouth shut and do your job!” *goes back to her phone*

Me: *goes back to scanning silently*

Girl: *looks at me smugly and goes back to licking the register belt*

Will Not Give Them Credit For Trying

, , , , , | Right | August 16, 2018

(I’m a manager at a discount store. Every couple of months our store has a “sidewalk sale” where we mark all of our clearance items down to $1 and put them outside. I am currently outside at the sale, training an associate on what to do. We have just finished ringing up a rather large order totaling around $200. We only have one register outside, and the only thing running to it is power, so we can only accept cash. We have signs on top of every rack, on every post, and taped to the register. The customer hands me a debit card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately we are only able to accept cash.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “We can only accept cash as form of tender.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, since we are outside, we are only able to have power going to the register here. We are not hooked up to our system or anything.”

Customer: *yelling* “What kind of business is this? You will take my card now!”

Me: “Ma’am, again, I have no way of taking your card. I do apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you. We do have an ATM right inside if you would like to run in and use that.”

Customer: *still yelling* “No! If you wont take my card, then it is your fault that I can’t pay. These items are mine! I spent an hour looking through all of these racks!”

(The customer then grabbed her bags and took off running. Luckily, loss prevention was right around the corner and took off running after her, tackling her in the process. The customer started hitting our LP guy and trying to bite him. She ended up being arrested for assault.)

We Live In The Information Rage

, , , , , | Right | September 13, 2017

(It is the days of landlines. I live in a small town that only has one telephone exchange: the three digits after the area code. Most people only give the last four digits of their phone number. I am a fan of unpublished numbers, to reduce the amount of solicitation calls. These are also the days before the Do-Not-Call List. For those who don’t know, an unpublished number costs more, because if someone calls information asking for John Doe’s phone number, all they will be told is “I have no listing”. An unlisted number is just not in “the book”, but information will still give it out. I’ve just paid to get an unpublished number, and what number do I get? 356-1411. To call information in this town, you dial JUST 1411. So, I immediately start getting calls like this.)

Me: “Hello.”

Caller: “I’d like [Name]’s number.”

Me: “Sorry, if you want information, don’t dial 356 first.”

Caller: “Oops, yeah. Sorry. Bye.”

(But I do get the occasional person who does this:)

Me: “Hello.”

Caller: “I’d like [Other Name]’s number.”

Me: “Sorry; if you want information, don’t dial 356 first.”

Caller: “I didn’t.”

Me: “Yes, you did, or you wouldn’t be talking to me; I’m NOT information.”

Caller: “I didn’t! Give me my d*** phone number!”

(I’d then hang up. This went on for several weeks before I contacted the phone company, asking for a different unpublished number; and without being charged for changing numbers again. They did so, and for free. But wow! Some people got rude so fast. It made me appreciate what those operators go through.)