Waiting For Wicked Wings Is Widiculous

, , , , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(I am lining up at popular southern-style fried chicken chain to place our order when this exchange occurs:)

Staff: “I’m sorry, sir, but there will be a five-minute wait for Wicked Wings.”

Customer: “What?! Five minutes! Why the h*** would it take five minutes?!”

Staff: “We don’t keep a lot pre-cooked, so it’s always fresh for our valued customers like you, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not waiting.”

Staff: “I can replace the wings with regular chicken pieces for you, sir.”

Customer: “NO! I want Wicked Wings.”

Staff: “So, there will be a five-minute wait on the wings, sir—”

Customer: “I’M NOT WAITING!”

Staff: “Like I said, I can substitute regular pieces for you.”

Customer: “NO! I WANT MY WINGS, BUT I DON’T WANT TO WAIT!”

Staff: “I… I don’t know what to tell you, sir. Either you wait for wings or accept a substitution. I can’t bend time.”

Customer: *turns almost purple from anger* “HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT?! GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

(By this time everyone has had it with this idiot man-child, but it’s a little kid who speaks up. The kid behind me says to his mum:)

Kid: “You would smack my bum if I shouted like that, Mum.”

Mum: “Yes. Yes, I would.”

(That’s all it took for me. I laughed so much I snorted, and idiot man-child left without ordering his food. I let the kid and his mum go ahead of me because I still couldn’t compose myself to place an order. Well done, little kid. And idiot man-child, thank you for making me laugh harder than I have in a long time.)

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