I’m a regular at a very well-known fast food place. One of the employees is a very nice, kind, and motivated young girl, although she seems to have some cognitive issues. I’m a bit worried for her when an elderly gentleman walks in with all kinds of weird questions, ordering seemingly random items.

Customer: “I’d like a hamburger, and a cheeseburger meal, and a burger, and some fries, and a cheeseburger.”

Employee: “Sure…”

Customer: “Do you have the kids’ meal?”

Employee: “Yes, we do!”

Customer: “Does it come with a toy watch?”

Employee: “No, it comes with a frisbee!”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Now I listen closely, because I really want to hear how she defines a frisbee; I know I would have a hard time explaining it to someone who doesn’t know what it is. She handles it with aplomb.

Employee: “Well, I throw it, and it flies away!”

Customer: “Great! I want one!”

I work as a photo lab operator, but the revenue of the shop mainly comes from prescription glasses and sunglasses. We use a worksheet with the customer’s details, the glasses’ details, deadlines, etc. One copy of that form is in a special envelope with the glasses and the other copy is given to the customer.

A lady rushes into the shop and starts shouting at us. I swear there is a bit of foam on the edge of her mouth because of the rage.

Customer: “I can’t believe that nobody is on the bloody phone right now!”

Colleague: “What do you mean, madam?”

Customer: “Your landline is always busy. Always!“

We checked the number on her worksheet copy to see if maybe there was a wrong number or something.

It turns out she called her own landline for a week.

My mother told me this story. When I was about two years old, I was appearing to be mute, as I only talked when I deemed it necessary which was, apparently, quite rare.

One day, when we were visiting my great-grandparents, my great-grandfather declared:

Great-Grandfather: “I will teach this girl how to talk.”

He walked over to where I was drawing, grabbed an item in each hand, and started “teaching” me.

Great-Grandfather: “This is a pen. Say after me, my girl: pen. A p-e-n.”

After a while, I had enough, shook my head, and said:

Me: “No pen. Pens. Two.”

Then, I went back to drawing like nothing had happened, while my parents nearly died laughing.

This is not word for word, since I don’t think I will be able to translate it properly that way, but I still tried.

I like being a little troll when I can, and those kiosks in shopping centers with overly pushy workers are usually a great way for me to do so. I usually only do this when they go overboard and get too pushy; I don’t mess with the decent ones since nobody likes their time wasted.

This kiosk was selling some sort of subscription for some makeup and body care products. As I went by, the lady almost jumped in front of me to get my attention, which worked. I couldn’t process what happened at first because she appeared in front of me so fast, and she took the time while I was processing to start her spiel about the products and subscription plan. I remember that when she finally took a breath, I told her that I was not really interested. She didn’t take it too well.

Customer: *With a slightly disgusted look* “Well, it would only benefit you!“

And with that, she grabbed me by my arm and pulled me toward the kiosk to try and sign me up for this garbage. This is when I decided that she was a perfect candidate for one of the little plans I had been coming up with in the past month. Thankfully, she even started with the exact question I needed.

She finished looking for her papers and looked at me with a disgustingly sweet smile.

Customer: “All right, I will just need you to give me your name, email address, and phone number!

Me: “…what?”

Customer: “Ugh, your name?”

Me: “I don’t want to give it to you, though.”

Customer: “But I will need you to.”

Me: “I can’t; it’s mine.”

Customer: *Confused* “Uh…”

I started to look incredibly scared in a really fake way.

Me: “I… I can’t give it to you; it’s mine. If I do that, I will have no name! What will I do then?! I will have no identity!”

The lady started to look more worried. Her smile was gone, and she was trying to respond, but she only managed to act like a fish outside of water.

I took my chance, turned around, and started fast-walking away, only to be greeted by the sight of a mall security guard staring at the situation and trying his hardest not to laugh.

I had to book it out of there faster to not burst out laughing myself. At least I made someone’s day better other than mine with my tirade.

I’m in a one-to-one session with one of my youngest and most inexperienced employees. We’ve just covered the need for him to double-check his own work before he sends it out to the rest of the team to work on, as nobody in this office has extra time to check in detail the quality of the input he delivers, to correct it, etc. This follows a series of mistakes that have cost time, energy, and nerves to the rest of the team. The young employee has not been receptive to advice or instructions, either on pure work or on behavioral issues, and hasn’t flagged any issues before the deadline.

We have discussed the reasons why we cannot afford to spend too much time on the data he provides us and how we as a team need to be able to rely on him, both in terms of quality and deadlines. I’ve also highlighted what to do in case he doesn’t know how to perform a task, in which case we’ll help him without a doubt, but if he feels comfortable performing the task by himself without asking for support, we’ll depend on the result being correct.

Basically, I’ve explained to him that he’s a full-fledged employee, not a student or an intern, so I trust he’ll raise his hand proactively if a deadline is not reachable, if a task cannot be performed technically, or if he’s struggling, as this is what I’m here for as a supervisor, but I cannot hold his hand and ask him constantly if every task is progressing well.

Once all of this has been understood — as he assures me — and there’s some discussion between the two of us, I move on to the next topic on my list for the feedback I give him weekly on his performance.

Me: “You missed a recent team meeting via video call. Why did you miss it? Did you have another preorganized or more important meeting at the same time?”

Both of these explanations are fine with me if he gives notice in advance that he’ll skip the team meeting, as I’ve told him. His answer?

Employee: “Oh, no. I do apologize for missing the team meeting, but you know, when I’m so deeply focused on my work, I kind of forget everything around me. Could you please text me or get me when I have to join a meeting which I seem to have forgotten?”

Glad to see the point about being responsible, dependable, and independent and respecting other people having other priorities besides managing him like a child was understood…