The Store Closes In Five Minutes, But Human Decency Has Already Left

, , , , , | Right | July 29, 2020

I work in a popular retail chain that caters to the teen market, but adults tend to shop here, too. I’m used to rude behavior from teenagers, but when it comes from adults it’s somehow worse because you expect better.

Two women and their daughters come in five minutes prior to closing time. The associates are cleaning up the store and, as I’m the closing manager of that night, I kindly welcome the customers and tell them we will be closing in five minutes.

Woman: “You don’t think I know you close in five minutes? I got a watch. You think I don’t know how to tell time? If you’re unhappy working here, you need to get yo ‘edumacation’ so that you can get a better job.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m currently in school getting my education and working here while I do so, thank you very much.”

This customer and her friend start purposely messing up the clothing racks and one of them calls me a b**** loudly enough that I can hear it.

Me: “Ma’am, I approached you in a respectful manner and your behavior is unnecessary. You have no right to tell me to get an education when I can keep my composure and speak to you in full sentences while you have to resort to cuss words.”

Their daughters look embarrassed and one of them even tells her mom:

Daughter: “Mom, all she said was that the store is closing in five minutes. Let’s go.”

The woman smacked her lips at me, called me a b**** one more time, and messed up one more rack as they exited the store. All I could do was laugh. You know it’s bad when your daughters are embarrassed to be seen out in public with you.

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Not How You Insure That You Get A New Customer

, , , , , | Working | June 18, 2020

I recently decided to shop around for new car insurance and filled out a form online to get a quote from [Large Insurance Company], but the page timed out and I didn’t get the quote.

A few hours later, an agent calls as I am walking out the door for work, so I ask them to call back later. The next day, they call again while I’m on my way to work.

Agent: “Hello, this is [Agent] from [Large Insurance Company]. Could I speak with [My Name]?”

Me: “This is her, but I’m actually on my way to work right now, so I can’t talk. You could call my husband and speak with him, though.”

Agent: “Okay, I’ll just call back later. Would this evening work?”

Me: “Umm… maybe? Why don’t you just call my husband right now? I can give you his number.”

Agent: “Oh, I’m not able to take down any numbers. I’ll just call back later. Or you can call us back. Here is our number so you can write it down. It’s [Number]. Did you need me to repeat that?”

Me: “Well, as I said, I’m on my way to work now, so I can’t take down your number, either. I guess just keep trying and maybe you’ll get lucky. Thanks.”

It’s not looking promising.

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Gosh, What Could They Be Hiding?

, , , , , , | Working | May 12, 2020

We have recently hired a new employee to work exclusively with a particular client. At our company, we have a ninety-day probationary period for all new hires. Unfortunately, the new employee is not a good fit, alienates the client right from the start, and appears to have exaggerated the skills he listed on his resume. We make the tough decision to let him go before the probationary period is up.

Me: “…so, unfortunately, the client is just not happy and we don’t feel you are working out in this position. We have to let you go.”

Associate: “Wow. Okay. So, what happens now? Is this effective immediately?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Associate: “But like, can I still get on my computer? I have a few things to do.”

Me: “We don’t need you to do anything; we’ll take care of anything that is still in progress. You can just take your personal belongings and head out.”

Associate: “Can I get on the computer for a few minutes to delete some personal stuff?”

Me: “What kind of stuff? You’re not supposed to have anything personal on your work computer.”

Associate: “Oh… Like… paperwork and things like that. It has my social security number and personal info on it; I want to delete that.”

Me: “We hired you. The company already has that information. Anything on there will be kept secure, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Associate: “I would just feel better if you let me delete things.”

Me: “I’m going to have to go with ‘no’ on that.”

I never did find out what he had on there that he was so worried about. IT did their job and kept anything that was on there private.

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Math Is Hard When Pizza’s On The Brain

, , , , , , | Working | April 21, 2020

(My family is visiting the pizza counter while at a game center for my work-sponsored “family night.” As part of the deal, we were each given a coupon for a drink and two slices of pizza. We are a family of three.)

Me: “I have these coupons; I’d like four cheese pizza slices and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “You want… What?”

Me: “Four cheese slices and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “But the coupon is for two slices.”

Me: “We have three coupons.” *shows them*

Clerk: “But you can’t have four cheese; the coupon is for two.”

Me: “Okay, then I’ll have two cheese, two cheese, and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “Great! I’ll get that for you!”

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No Clever Title Required, Because Chocolate DOES Make Everything Better  

, , , , , , | Hopeless | December 2, 2019

(It’s my time of the month with a heavy flow and I have a very nasty sinus and ear infection, so there are a ton of medications in my system. I still get myself to work at the fabric store as I don’t feel that bad. A half-hour into my shift, I suddenly become very weak and my legs become very shaky. Still, I put on a brave face to not worry my coworkers and customers and just lean on the counter and carts for balance. I’m catching my breath when I notice a customer coming up to the counter.)

Me: *assume an acting face* “Hi. How can I help you?”

Customer: *not convinced* “Are you all right? You weren’t looking that good a moment ago, and you’re pale.”

Me: “I’ll be all right; it will pass.”

Customer: “Are you sure? Do you need anything, like water or food?”

Me: “Maybe, but I’ll hold off until my break. How much do you need?”

Customer: “Four yards, and I’ll be right back.”

(I begin to measure out her material while she runs up to the front. She returns a few minutes later with a chocolate bar in hand.)

Customer: “There you go.”

Me: *shocked* “Oh, wow… You didn’t have to.”

Customer: “Chocolate makes everything better. Your blood sugar might be low so this should help.”

(She was right. After a few nibbles on the chocolate and a quick break, my strength returned and I was able to finish my shift with no problems. I saw the same customer a few days later and she was very happy to see that I was doing better and that the chocolate had helped.)

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