Gosh, What Could They Be Hiding?

, , , , , , | Working | May 12, 2020

We have recently hired a new employee to work exclusively with a particular client. At our company, we have a ninety-day probationary period for all new hires. Unfortunately, the new employee is not a good fit, alienates the client right from the start, and appears to have exaggerated the skills he listed on his resume. We make the tough decision to let him go before the probationary period is up.

Me: “…so, unfortunately, the client is just not happy and we don’t feel you are working out in this position. We have to let you go.”

Associate: “Wow. Okay. So, what happens now? Is this effective immediately?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Associate: “But like, can I still get on my computer? I have a few things to do.”

Me: “We don’t need you to do anything; we’ll take care of anything that is still in progress. You can just take your personal belongings and head out.”

Associate: “Can I get on the computer for a few minutes to delete some personal stuff?”

Me: “What kind of stuff? You’re not supposed to have anything personal on your work computer.”

Associate: “Oh… Like… paperwork and things like that. It has my social security number and personal info on it; I want to delete that.”

Me: “We hired you. The company already has that information. Anything on there will be kept secure, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Associate: “I would just feel better if you let me delete things.”

Me: “I’m going to have to go with ‘no’ on that.”

I never did find out what he had on there that he was so worried about. IT did their job and kept anything that was on there private.

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Unfiltered Story #192468

, , , | Unfiltered | April 26, 2020

(I work in a well known retail store, and needless to say we get extremely busy on holidays. There was a long line at my register and the next customer with a baby in his cart comes up.)
Me: “Hi, did you find everything alright sir?”
Customer 1: “Yes, it’s all good. I want to buy this, and I have a discount from my email.” [He tries to pull up his email but the reception in our building is horrible so it takes a while.]
Me: *sees the customers behind him are waiting* “Sir, if you want, you can finish your transaction here, walk out to the front door and load your email, and then bring the receipt to customer service to get your discount.”
Customer 1: “Oh that sounds great! *finishes transaction, and proceeds to place his cart on the side of my register and leave to the front. With his purchase and baby still in his cart.
Me: *sees he’s already too far to say something, so I just keep with the line*
Customer 1: “Ok, ma’am, I have my coupon ready.”
(Clearly he misunderstood me, and I’m in the middle of another transaction. I tell him I can’t make an adjustment at my register.)
Me: Sir, I said after you get the coupon ready, go to customer service, sorry.”
Customer 1: “What? What do you mean?! *he gets flustered*
Me: *looking at the very long line still waiting and the next customer in line gets annoyed*
Me: “I’m sorry sir, I can’t make an adjustment here, and plus I’m in the middle of a transaction here.”
Customer 1: “You said I could load my email and get there discount. And also why would I leave my baby here?”
Me: (mentally thinking, I don’t know WHY would you leave your baby here? I’m getting paid to watch over children.)
Customer 2: “Too bad. I’m in line now.”

Math Is Hard When Pizza’s On The Brain

, , , , , , | Working | April 21, 2020

(My family is visiting the pizza counter while at a game center for my work-sponsored “family night.” As part of the deal, we were each given a coupon for a drink and two slices of pizza. We are a family of three.)

Me: “I have these coupons; I’d like four cheese pizza slices and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “You want… What?”

Me: “Four cheese slices and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “But the coupon is for two slices.”

Me: “We have three coupons.” *shows them*

Clerk: “But you can’t have four cheese; the coupon is for two.”

Me: “Okay, then I’ll have two cheese, two cheese, and two pepperoni.”

Clerk: “Great! I’ll get that for you!”

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Unfiltered Story #190946

, , , | Unfiltered | March 28, 2020

(I was in an aisle with a customer, and as I was straightening things up, I could tell he was eyeing me. He abruptly turns to me:)

Customer: HEY! Anybody ever tell you brunettes are the shit!?

Me: *suppressed laughter* I’m sorry, what?

Customer: Yeah! Your boyfriend is real lucky!

Me: Th-thanks…

(Later, as I was walking by the front, I pass him again as he’s being rung up by my coworker.)

Customer: Hey man, look at that girl, aren’t brunettes the shit!? I told her brunettes are the shit!

(My older, cooler, male coworker glances at me as I scurried away as fast as I could.)

Coworker: *laughing* Yeah man, whatever.

Unfiltered Story #186221

, , , | Unfiltered | February 17, 2020

I’m the customer in this story. I’m in a hurry one day, so I decide to go to this national fast food chain restaurant to try the new chicken sandwich that they’ve been advertising recently. This location has two drive thru ordering stations that feed into one line for the windows. When I arrive, both ordering stations are empty.

Cashier: Hello, welcome to [restaurant], may I take your order?
Me: Just a second. (I find the item on the menu). Okay, I’ll have the buttermilk chicken sandwich with no tomatoes.
Cashier: Okay, that’ll be $4.97. Please drive up to the first window.

Just as I say “Thanks,” another customer drives around the line and pulls her car in between me and the only other vehicle in line ahead of me, completely bypassing the ordering stations.

When she gets to the window, she slowly places her order and hands the cashier her credit card. The cashier hands her the payment slip and a pen, she signs it and hands it back, then the cashier hands her the receipt and some cash. I finally get to the window.

Cashier: Okay, so you had the buttermilk chicken sandwich with no tomatoes, right?
Me: Yes.
Cashier: (Looking at the POS and asking a coworker) “Where did you put that chicken sandwich?”
Me: I don’t know what happened, but that lady cut ahead of me in line and didn’t even stop to place her order.
Cashier: Oh, here’s your order. Yes, she said that she was in a hurry to get on the road. She paid for her order and yours, so we had to refund her.
Me: …
Cashier: That’ll be $4.97.
I hand over some cash.
Cashier: Here’s your change. Thank you and have a nice day.
Me: Thanks, you too.

Once she received her order, two cups of coffee, she pulled forward just enough so that I could reach the take-out window and proceeded to customize her coffees. The ironic part is that this all took way longer than if she had just done things the right way, and I was out of there and on my way while she still sat there!