Being A Queen About Getting The King

, , , , | Right | January 30, 2018

(I work in the linens department of my store.)

Me: “What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “My son says this pillow case is too long. I need something that will fit.”

(She shows me the case, and it is meant for a standard-size sleeping pillow.)

Me: “Are you looking for a standard pillowcase, then?”

Customer: “No, I want a king-size.”

Me: “It sounds like your son has a standard-sized pillow, so a standard- or queen-size pillow would fit.”

Customer: “No, it’s too long! I need something else like this, king-size.”

Me: “Ma’am, these pillowcases are made this way so they can fit onto the pillow easier, especially after being washed. If you buy a king-size case, then it’s going to be even longer, because it’s meant for a king-size pillow.”

Customer: “No, these cases are too long! I want something bigger!”

Me: “Ma’am, these cases are meant for these standard pillows here. King-size cases are meant for these larger pillows here.” *showing her the pillows* “This standard case will fit a standard pillow.”

Customer: “Here! You open this and show me that it will fit!”

(I open the standard pillowcase up and put the pillow inside, and it fits like any standard pillow would.)

Customer: *mutters* “Thank you.” *walks away*

Me: “No problem, ma’am.” *grinning slyly*

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Their Mind Has Wandered Off The Reservation

, , , , , | Working | January 26, 2018

(My coworkers and I are going out for lunch during the workday to celebrate a special occasion. One of my coworkers has made a reservation for eight people. We arrive as a group at the restaurant.)

Coworker: “Hello, we have a reservation under [Coworker].”

Hostess: “Oh, is it for a bridal shower?”

Coworker: “No, just a normal reservation for eight.”

Hostess: “Oh, well, we don’t have any other reservations.”

Coworker: “I just called and made a reservation yesterday. Could you please check again?”

Hostess: *suddenly surprised* “Oh, you mean for today?!”

Coworker: *looks around at our group of people, obviously confused as to why we would all be standing there waiting for a table if our reservation was for a different day* “Yes, for today.”

Hostess: “Well, in that case, right this way.”

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Unfiltered Story #103979

, , , | Unfiltered | January 20, 2018

(I’m the manager at a fairly popular frozen yogurt shop. We have a regular customer who comes in all the time who always pays in a fistful of change. This time is no different, she gets her yogurt and pays in a handful of nickels and dimes, literally. She then leaves in a rush. Later that night my coworker tells me that the customer from earlier has come back, claiming that someone has stolen a large amount of cash from her car while at our store. Since I was up at the front the entire time she was there, and she had parked her car right in front of our giant glass wall where I could see it, I knew this wasn’t true. I walk out of the back and see that the customer is waiting for me.)

Customer: “I demand that you roll back the tapes so I can see who took money out of my car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t review our security tapes here at the store, that’s done at our headquarters downtown. You can call the police and file a report if you’d like.”

Customer: “Just call your boss! I know her! My daughter used to work here!”

(After several minutes of this, I finally call my boss and she tells me that this woman has done this several times before, but that she’ll talk to her anyway. I hand the customer my cell phone and she then speed walks outside with it and starts taking pictures of her car and texting them to my boss, while on the phone with her. After a few minutes of what seems like arguing, she hangs up and brings me my phone back.)

Customer: “I’ll be back later tonight to see the tapes!”

(The customer then storms out. My coworker and I just start laughing. We haven’t seen her since.)

It’s A Date! Wait…

, , , , , , , , , | Romantic | December 26, 2017

(I go to college out of state, but come home to Houston every year for holidays and summers. My boyfriend attends college where I do, but lives elsewhere. A male friend I have known since high school contacts me on messenger to ask about my holiday plans one year.)

Friend: “So, you’re going to be home again for Thanksgiving?”

Me: “Yeah, I thought about going to see my boyfriend’s family this year, but we decided that we should just each go home separately. I might go visit him for New Year’s, though.”

Friend: “We should get together when you’re back! We can have a big outing like we used to with everyone!”

Me: “That sounds like fun! If you plan it, I’ll find a way to make it.”

(A few weeks pass, and Thanksgiving break is imminent. He messages me again.)

Friend: “Hey! Are we still on for getting together when you’re back?”

Me: “Sure thing! Is that Saturday okay with everyone? Did you want to do an e-vite so everyone knows? I can set something up and start a group chat.”

Friend: “I’ll take care of it. Are you bringing your car back? Do you need a ride?”

Me: “Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure [Another Friend of ours] can pick me up, since I live so close to him.”

Friend: “No, no! I insist on picking you up! Does [Local Restaurant] sound okay?”

Me: “Sure. I think that should be within everybody’s budgets.”

(I came home for Thanksgiving and the get-together had been solidified. Or so I thought. My friend texted me to say he was coming to pick me up. Upon arriving at the restaurant, I discovered that he lied and didn’t invite anyone else; it was just the two of us. I insisted on paying for my meal, despite his repeated attempts to cover it, and the entire evening was extremely awkward with little conversation. When he drove me home, he even tried to lean over to kiss me as I was getting out of the car. I chewed him out over messenger when I finally got over my shock and disgust, and he acted like I was some cheating girlfriend who had led him on for months. When I mentioned the whole scenario to a mutual friend of ours, he laughed and said that this was the third time that guy had pulled this series of tricks on a girl in our social circles. And every time, he tried to blame it on her “leading him on.”)

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A Breath Of Death Air

, , , | Healthy | December 14, 2017

(I recently got home from an overseas trip. On the flight back I caught a fever and started having stomach issues. A few days later, I had to switch out with my father when driving because I didn’t feel like I could both drive and focus on breathing. I’ve always had asthma, but usually only have had issues when exercising and breathing very cold air. However, this is the second event in around a month where I couldn’t identify a trigger and the breathing problems lasted for a long time. The first time I went to the emergency room, was told it was a panic attack, and was sent home. When things didn’t clear up, I went to the school clinic where they said it was my asthma — not a spasm like I was used to, but inflammation — and gave me medication. Things cleared up. Because it is only a little after New Year’s, my mom doesn’t think our GP can fit us in quickly enough, so we head to an emergency clinic. Our new insurance only allows us to go to one chain in the area, and it’s 30 minutes away. There isn’t a doctor available, so we confirm we are fine with seeing the head nurse. I’m used to journalling some aspects of my health due to things like adult onset allergies, and have written specifics of the start and stop of the symptoms in a notebook, along with details from the other attack. Sometimes I also have difficulty speaking because of my focusing on my breathing.)

Mom: “She’s been having trouble breathing. We were here a couple days ago because she had a stomach bug.”

Nurse: “Can you describe when this started?”

Me: “Um, I noticed I had to focus to breathe. I was really aware of my breathing. It started last night, I guess? Um— I wrote it down, if it’s easier.”

(I hand her the notebook. She looks through it, but she looks skeptical.)

Nurse: “Okay, I know what’s going on here. Honey, you’re having a panic attack.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s a panic attack! It happened before around a month ago. I have asthma—”

Nurse: “The emergency guys thought that was a panic attack, too. Listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but this is in your brain.”

(This sets me off for multiple reasons, one of which being that I DO have anxiety, but it is controlled and not the kind that results in panic attacks. Another being that I’ve been misdiagnosed with “stress pains” by my father’s urologist, who was checking for kidney stones, when we later found out I had some muscle issues in that area that were easily taken care of with physical therapy. I should also note my mother has been making some comments, but I can’t exactly remember them. She’s mostly worried.)

Me: “But the other doctor said it was asthma! I’ve had people dismiss things like this before! But when it was checked out by someone else they found something! I have anxiety, but I get those! I don’t have this problem!”

Nurse: “So you just keep going to doctors till they say what you want to hear. But I’m telling you, this is a panic attack. You said in your notes that talking is difficult, but you’re talking fine now. You seem fine. You just need to accept this. Maybe call your therapist or psychiatrist.”

(She ended the appointment. I was pretty hysterical once we returned home. I have been well functioning for years and even though I didn’t believe the nurse, she put the idea in my head that I was as well off as I thought. I should also note my mom is of the generation that often writes things off as stress, and seemed to be taking the nurse’s side, or at least playing devil’s advocate, adding to my stress. I blubbered to my mom and eventually my psychiatrist’s hotline. [Psychiatrist] quickly wrote a prescription for anxiety, but was very firm in telling me most of her patients didn’t end up using it and that often having it in their possession helped. She also said that if I felt I needed it to only take half and assess how I felt. Honestly, I didn’t feel any different. Later, my mom apologized that she helped upset me and called our GP. )

Mom: “[Doctor] made an opening for you tomorrow.  Guess what she said, though, when I told her everything that happened?”

Me: “…what?”

Mom: “In her experience asthmatics usually have panic attacks because they can’t f****** breathe.”

(My GP gave me a steroid inhaler and I started breathing better in a few days. I later went to my asthma and allergy doctor and found out I have a new severe allergy to dust mites, something that aggravates asthma. F*** you, nurse.)

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