Why Horse Around When You Can Giraffe?

, , , , | Right | August 23, 2017

(I work night shift at a local hotel. About half an hour into my shift, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got a question. What’s your policy on hotels?”

(The customer is obviously drunk.)

Me: *pausing, not quite sure if I heard properly* “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: “What’s your policy on hotels?”

Me: “Well, I like them.”

Customer: “So, if I come to your hotel and I don’t like it, you won’t kick me out?”

Me: “Nope, promise.”

Customer: “I got one more question. What if I want to bring some exotic animals with me?”

(At this point, all doubt that this is a prank call is gone; in fact, in the hotel industry, this is a fairly common prank. I decide to have some fun with the ‘customer.’)

Me: “Well, you could certainly eat them on the way.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to eat them. I want to bring them as pets.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t allow any pets.”

Customer: “What about a miniature giraffe?”

Me: “Sure, you could eat that on the way.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to eat it.”

Me: “Why not? You should expand your horizons. It might be delicious. You don’t know!”

Customer: “That’s a really expensive meal, though.”

Me: “Well, sometimes you have to treat yourself!”

Customer: *laughs, hangs up*

(I share the story with the bartender and his friend who happens to be present, and we all get a good chuckle. Perhaps five minutes later, the phone rings again. Our caller ID tells me that it’s the same person.)

Customer: “Yes, I’m calling to find out where you are.”

Me: “We’re at [Address, plus directions].”

Customer: “Okay, I have another question. What’s your pet policy?”

Me: “Well, we allow miniature giraffes.”

Customer: *laughs uncontrollably*

Me: “Were you aware that we have caller ID, Mr. [Customer]? Because we totally do.”

Customer: *click*

(He didn’t call back after that.)

Initially Confusing

, , | Working | August 21, 2017

(I work at a hotel in reservations. We get a lot of calls from one particular third-party booking company who doesn’t seem to hire the smartest people. After the standard arguing with the representative, she asks me for my name for her notes.)

Me: “It’s [My First Name].”

Representative: “And the initial of your last name?”

Me: “It’s J.”

Representative: “And how do you spell that?”

Me: “…It’s J?”

Representative: “And how do you SPELL that?”

Me: “J. It’s one letter!”

Representative: *sighs* “HOW do you SPELL THAT?!”

Me: “J! My initial is J! You can’t spell out one letter!”

Representative: “Fine! I’ll just put [My First Name] and that you refused to give your initial!” *hangs up*

Your Common Sense Isn’t Exactly Sky High

, , , | Right | August 21, 2017

Me: *answers phone* “Hi, This is the front desk!”

Guest: “Hi. I was wondering how to turn off the light in the bathroom. I’ve been looking everywhere, but there’s no switch for it!”

Me: “Oh, yes, that’s actually a skylight!”

Guest: “Oh… so?”

Me: *joking* “It’s the sun so it doesn’t turn off.”

Guest: *obviously confused* “…what?”

Me: “It’ll turn off when it gets dark outside.”

Guest: “Well, that’s all I needed to know!” *hangs up*

Coworker: *overheard the conversation and is laughing her butt off*

They’re A Card-Carrying Member Of The A**-Hole Club

, , | Right | August 20, 2017

(I get a lot of rude people throwing their credit cards at me. One day it happened one time too many.)

Rude Customer: *blathering on phone, throws card at me*

(The card falls in crack between my desk and wall.)

Me: “Oops, can’t reach that. Do you have another card?” *big grin*

Rude Customer: *to phone* “Hold on a second.” *to me* “You’ll get that, b****, or else!” *shakes fist*

Me: *bigger grin* “Can’t. Now, pay or lose your room!”

(She rants expletives at me, and I just smile, which only makes her madder. Finally the manager is called.)

Rude Customer: “She dropped my card and that’s my only one!”

Me: “Not true; she threw it at me. Check the cameras.”

(The customer choked, then flounced away. She later complained the corporate, and got a free certificate! Her card is still there as far as I know.)

Must Have Been A Looooong Pregnancy

, | | Right | August 10, 2017

Throwback ThursdaysTHROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s a crazy lie or scamming experience you’ve had? Let us know in the comments!

Pregnant Customer: “I want to be reimbursed because I did not get a ground floor unit, because I was promised one when I booked the reservation due to the fact that I’m pregnant.”

Agent: “But ma’am, you booked this reservation eleven months in advance.”

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