His Valentine Is Going To Be Pissed

| UT, USA | Holidays, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need a room this weekend.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we’re completely booked this weekend.”

Caller: *annoyed* “Why would you be sold out? That makes no sense.”

Me: “It’s a holiday weekend?”

Caller: “You can’t be serious! Nobody cares about President’s Day!”

Me: “Valentine’s Day as well?”

Caller: “OH, S***, I FORGOT!” *click*

Doctorate In Bread Required

| Barcelona, Spain | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(I work at a self-service buffet in a hotel. We have these little signs with the name of every dish except the very obvious ones. I am carrying drinks when a middle-aged guest comes to me and points to the bread aisle.)

Guest: “What is this?”

Me: “Emm… bread, sir.”

Guest: “How do I know this is bread? There is no sign at all.”

Me: “Well, it is obviously bread; it looks like bread, after all.”

Guest: “What if I never saw a piece of bread before? How do I know this is actually bread? You can’t expect us all to know that this is bread. Bring me your manager.”

Me: *fetches the manager*

Manager: “Sir, is there something wrong?”

Guest: “Why is there no sign for bread?”

Manager: “Well, it’s obvious that it’s bread.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous! You think we all have Oxford doctorates here? And you treat us like fools? That’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m filling in a complaint!”

(And he actually did…)

Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(A teenage guest goes into our snack shop and picks out two drinks.)

Guest: “These are $4.00, right?”

Me: “$4.24.”

Guest: “$4.24?!”

Me: “Yes, with the tax.”

Guest: “I don’t like tax!”

Related:
Too Taxing For Them To Understand

Karma Is In The Cards

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(We just had problems with the electricity that is now fixed. Because of the earlier problems, some people are still feeling resentful.)

Guest: *snottily* “So, this so-called perfect hotel always have problems here?”

Me: “No, this is the first time in my working in ten years that we’ve had problems with the lights.”

(He frowns, displeased.)

Guest: “Well, will my key card still work?”

Me: “It should; the key card readers run on battery.”

Guest: *angry now* “Well, I just tried them; why the f*** don’t it work, then?!”

(He flings a key card at me. I pick it up.)

Me: “First of all, there’s a different hotel name on the cards. That’s why it doesn’t work here, SIR.”

(He turned a bright maroon and quickly left.)

Psy-Chologically Damaging

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

Me: “Hello, sir. Good afternoon.”

Customer: “Hello, there.”

Me: “Are you checking in with us today?

Customer: “Are you Chinese?”

Me: “Umm, no. I am Korean.”

Customer: “Oh, perfect, how do you spell ‘Gangnam Style’? I can’t seem to find it on YouTube.”

Me: *blank stare*

(Reluctantly I had to spell it out for him.)

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