“How Are You” Is Implied

, , , , , , | Related | August 2, 2018

(My mom works at hotel near a movie theater. I go to see a movie one day and then meet her at the hotel so she can drive me home.)

Me: “Hey, Mom!”

Mom: “Hey, bunnie!”

Me: “Good. How are you?”

Mom: “I didn’t ask that.”

(I promptly walked off down the hallway to sit on the floor and think about my actions.)

Ocean’s Berate

, , , , , , | Right | July 31, 2018

Caller: “What is your best rate for an ocean view room for Friday night?”

Me: “$350 for that night.”

Caller: “I’m not paying that! Give me a better rate.”

Me: “Well, we have a better rate on a non-ocean view room: $269.”

Caller: “NO, I don’t want to look at the alleyways! I can get a better rate than that on the Internet!”

Me: “Which website? We can match rates if you see a cheaper one.”

Caller: “Any website! No one ever pays full price for a room. If I was Indian, you would give me a better rate!”

Me: *baffled silence*

Caller: “Because I would keep talking until I wore you down! If that’s the best you can do, I will go elsewhere!”

Me: “Sir, $350 is the best rate I can do. Have a good evening!”

(The caller, stunned that I didn’t immediately try to please him to get his business, left a long pause, then slowly hung up.)

New Should Mean Perfect

, , , | Right | July 30, 2018

(It’s my second day working in a hotel, and I answer a call.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. Room 100, Mr. [Guest].”

Me: “Uh, you would like to be transferred?”

Caller: “Yes. [Guest]. Room 100.”

Me: “Okay, just a moment.”

(After checking the computer, I hit the “transfer” button on the phone and type in the room number. But the buttons stick, and it gets transferred to a different room! Horrified, I look for my trainer, but he’s in the bathroom. Not knowing what else to do, I hang up. I figure the caller will call back, and she does.)

Same Caller: *tightly* “[Guest]. Room 100.”

Me: “Yes, I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Let me try again.”

(This time the correct room is rung, and I hang up. When my trainer comes over, I explain what happened.)

Trainer: “Oh, yeah, that phone’s been spilled on, so it sticks. Use this other phone.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(Much later, a man with a scowl beckons my trainer over.)

Guest: “My wife called me and she’s very upset! She said that SHE—” *nods to me* “—rang the wrong room and hung up on her!”

Trainer: “I’m very sorry about that, sir—”

Guest: “She’s very upset! What’re you going to do about it?!”

Trainer: “Again, I apologize. She’s new and—”

Guest: “I don’t care if she’s new! What does that have to do with it?!”

(My trainer apologized again for the mix-up, and I was taken aback that someone could be so mean. After all, I did apologize to the wife. I guess that when he was a newbie at his job, he never made a mistake! The next day, he complained that I didn’t greet him because I was busy with another guest. Some people.)

We Have No Loyalty To Your Stupidity

, , , | Right | July 29, 2018

(We have a lot of customers who just give their first and last name to make a reservation for our hotel. As such, we cannot tell if they are part of our loyalty club. Members of our club get a free cookie.)

Guest: “Hey! I didn’t get my free cookie!”

Me: “Are you a member of our loyalty–“

Guest: *scoffs* “I sure am! Member number [number].”

Me: “Let me check the computer.” *checks* “Sir, when you made the reservation, you only gave your name and not your number.”

Guest: “So?”

Me: “Well, we have no way of knowing whether you are a loyalty club member if you don’t provide your club member number. So—”

Guest: “Well, that’s not my problem. They should’ve asked me when I checked in.”

Me: *resigned* “Yes… they should’ve.”

(Later, I spoke with the person who had checked him in. She said that he interrupted with an, “Okay, thanks,” snatched his keys, and hustled off when she’d asked.)

Lake Tah-No

, , , , , | Right | July 27, 2018

(I work front desk at a hotel that sits directly across the street from Lake Tahoe. A guest comes to the desk, very upset.)

Guest: “I’m very angry about my room, and I want a discount right now!”

Me: “Okay, what is the problem with the room? Maybe I can get it fixed for you.”

Guest: “I paid over $200 a night for a lake-view room, and I can’t see the lake right now!”

Me: “It is ten o’clock at night, ma’am. When it’s dark outside, I’m afraid that the lake isn’t visible from your room.”

Guest: “How can that be? I paid a lot of f****** money for this room because of the lake view. I should be able to see the lake 24 hours a day for that price.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but there is nothing I can do. I assure you that you will be able to see the lake in the morning.”

Guest: “Why don’t you just turn the light switch on for the lake? I know you have a switch where you can turn the lights on in the lake and I would be able to see it.”

Me: “I don’t have such a switch; there are no lights in the lake.”

Guest: “Don’t lie to me; I know you can light it up!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. You’ll have to wait until morning.”

Guest: “I’m going to have you fired for this. I’m calling your manager first thing in the morning!”

(My boss just laughed at her and I still have my job.)

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