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His Haggling Has Rooms For Improvement

| IL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money, Popular

(I work as a front desk clerk at a mid/low range hotel it was about mid-shift but my boss who usually takes over for me is there. Two customers come in, both old men.)

Customer: “Here is my coupon. I have AAA and AARP and I am also a veteran.”

Me: “Sir, you may only use one discount per room.”

Customer: “Well, if you come with the room, I’ll take it.”

Me: *said with a straight face* “Sir, if you need all those discounts to this hotel then you can not afford me.”

Customer’s Friend: *as he laughs* “You’ve lost your touch, old man.”

Not The Key To Success

| CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging

(I’m the customer here. In the 1970s my wife and I, from the UK, treat ourselves to a luxury holiday, visiting the USA for the first time. When we register at our up-market hotel, I’m given a keycard for the room. It’s the first time I’ve seen one.)

Receptionist: “Here’s your keycard, sir. Just swipe it in the slot on your room door to open it.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(I collect my suitcase and walk with my wife to the elevator. Putting down my suitcase, I check my pocket for the keycard, but it’s not there, so I walk back to reception (about 15 yards).)

Me: “Err, I’ve lost my keycard between here and the elevator. That must be a record?”

Receptionist: “Pretty much, sir. Here’s a replacement. Enjoy your stay!”

Turning Water Into Wine And Back Again

| Germany | Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(At check-in we offer our guests a free welcome drink. Normally this is prosecco (Italian sparkling wine) but we also have sparkling water if the guest does not drink alcohol.)

Me: “Welcome to the hotel! Can we offer you a prosecco on the house?” *seeing difficult look* “Or would you like sparkling water?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “The prosecco or the water?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “It is your choice, madam, would you like the sparkling wine or the water?”

Guest: *agitated* “Yehesss….”

(My coworker just starts pouring a prosecco without further comment. The husband of the guest enters the hotel.)

Guest: *to husband* “Those two here really wanted to confuse me just now!”