A couple marches up to the checkout counter.

Me: “Good afternoon! Checking in?”

Guest: “No! We were supposed to be, but then it decided to rain!”

Me: “I… apologies, I’m not following. Do you have a reservation with us today?”

Guest: “Yes, but we want to cancel!”

Me: “…may I please have the name the reservation was booked under?”

They toss me some IDs, and I confirm they’re supposed to be checking in for a long weekend stay, starting today.

Guest: “The rain has totally ruined our weekend plans! We’re just going to go home! Cancel our reservation, and we’d better be getting a full refund!”

Me: “I can, of course, cancel the reservation, ma’am, but as you’re telling us you wish to cancel on the day of arrival, we have to charge you for tonight’s room.”

Guest: “No! Your rain has ruined our weekend, and we’re going home!”

Me: “It’s not our rain, ma’am. The hotel isn’t making it rain. It’s just rain.”

Guest: “Give us a refund or get a manager!”

So, I got a manager! Since it was the busy check-in hour, I had other guests to deal with while our manager dealt with them. After checking in another weekend guest (who didn’t blame us for the rain) I was able to overhear my manager say:

Manager: “Ma’am, sir, I have to repeat that the hotel is not responsible for the weather. It has been overcast and drizzling all week, and this weather has been clearly forecast to last until next week.”

Guest: “Then you should have called us!”

Manager: “That is not within our remit, ma’am. Based on what you’ve told me, you’ve driven all the way to the hotel, along a route where it was raining the entire journey, and decided only now to demand a cancellation and refund. It is not our fault that you did not look up at the sky or check the weather forecast. Now, shall I proceed with the cancellation?”

Based on how they stormed out into the light drizzle a few minutes later, I’m guessing they did!

Guest: “I’m feeling like I need to complain about your breakfast service.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. What is the nature of the complaint?”

Guest: “Well, we were excited to enjoy our continental breakfast but were greatly disappointed to find that we had to serve ourselves in the cavernous lobby!”

Me: “We do also have a restaurant on the top floor that offers a sit-down service.”

Guest: “Yes, but that’s not part of the prepaid breakfast!”

Me: “That’s correct. The self-serve breakfast still serves a wide variety of options, and—”

Guest: “—No! I expect waitstaff to bring my breakfast to me, and for it to be included in the room rate! This would not be acceptable in America!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Guest: “…and?”

Me: “And what, madam?”

Guest: “You’re sorry to hear that… aaaaaand?!”

Me: “…and I hope you have a nice day?”

Guest: “You’re not going to do anything?”

Me: “The breakfast will be served in the lobby, the same as it has for the last twenty years, madam. We have a smaller sit-down restaurant on the roof deck for à la carte options, but these are charged separately. There is nothing else I can do for you regarding your query.”

Guest: “Well… that’s just not acceptable!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Guest: “Stop being sorry!”

Me: “Yes, madam.”

Guest: “And do something about it!”

Me: “Would you like your breakfast pre-selected and brought to your room from tomorrow morning?”

Guest: “What good would that do?!”

Me: “It would mean you wouldn’t have to enter our cavernous lobby.”

Guest: “That doesn’t benefit me!”

I soooo wanted to say, “but it DOES benefit me,” but I held back. 

The manager ended up taking her complaint and re-explained how the hotel works. She seemed completely incapable of accepting that her complaint would elicit no action or apologies from us, and when she finally ran out of steam and wandered away, it was more from confusion than anger.

Guest: “Where’s the nearest McDonald’s?”

Me: “It’s in the city centre. If you take bus number—”

Guest: “No, I want one walking distance.”

Me: “There isn’t, madam.”

Guest: “So what do I do if I want to go out and eat dinner?”

Me: “Our hotel has a restaurant.”

Guest: “I don’t want to eat here.”

Me: “There’s a local restaurant open at the other end of the business park.”

Guest: “I want a chain restaurant.”

Me: “There are none of those within walking distance.”

Guest: “None at all?! And your hotel is comfortable with that?!”

Me: “Madam, you’re paying €39 a night to stay at a budget chain hotel in a business park next to the airport. You’re lucky anything is in walking distance. Now, the town centre is a twenty-minute bus ride away, or you can order online for delivery.”

Guest: “…Can you call me a taxi?”

Me: “Certainly.”

Guest: “Will the hotel pay for it since you built a hotel in a place with no restaurants?”

Me: “…No.”

Guest: “Ugh! It’s like you want me to starve!”

I work at a hotel, and around 10:30 PM, a woman called down.

Guest: “I’m very upset about the noise from outside.”

The hotel is downtown, it was Saturday night, and also 4/20. People were partying.

Me: “I’m afraid that because of our central location—”

Guest: “—I don’t want excuses; I want you to fix it. Now.”

Me: “Noise ordinance for our city, as far as private residences go, doesn’t kick in until midnight, so I can’t do anything until then, as far as calling the cops goes. I can move you to a different room on another side of the hotel, away from the noise source.”

Guest: “No. It’s late. What’s your other solution?”

Me: “There isn’t one. I can call the cops, but they won’t do anything until at least midnight, probably later. We have other rooms in a quieter area of the hotel—”

Guest: “—I don’t want to move! I just want you to make them be quiet!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have offered you the only solution I have to this problem, and you have refused it twice. At this point, I can’t do anything to help you.”

Guest: “Is that how you treat your guests?! I’m going to call your corporate office!”

Me: “You’re welcome to do that. I look forward to speaking with them. My name is [My Name], spelled with a K. Good night.” *Click.*

I came into work the next night and my day shift counterpart filled me in a bit.

She came down earlier tonight, still very upset about the party, and demanded to know where I was. He informed her that I would be in at 5 PM. She got even more upset, saying they were checking out at noon. He told her she could leave a message for me, but she declined and said again that she was going to call corporate. Haven’t had anything else come about yet.

I work in a hotel in Bangkok, Thailand. I’m Thai, but was born in the USA, and while all of the concierge staff are perfectly fluent in English, I’m usually the one who’s assigned to help our more ‘interesting’ guests.

A woman in flowing white linen pants and sandals drifts up to the concierge desk. I remember checking her in less than half an hour ago. I remembered her as she didn’t stop mentioning that she’s a Buddhist and how enlightened she is, and that she’s here to similarly enlighten all those around her.

Customer: “Hi. I think there’s negative energy in my room.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Can you explain what you mean?”

Customer: “It’s just… heavy. The vibrations are off. I’m very sensitive to these things. I’m a practicing Buddhist.”

Me: “Is there a problem with the air conditioning? Noise? Smell?”

Customer: “No, no. The room itself is fine. It’s just… spiritually hostile.”

Of course it is. I check the system.

Me: “I do have another room available, but it isn’t the suite you booked. It’s a smaller room on a lower floor, and it faces the interior atrium instead of the city.”

Customer: “Oh, absolutely not. I didn’t fly all the way to Thailand to stare at… walls. I’m a practicing Buddhist, and that’s bad for me.”

Me: “Then the suite you’re in is the only one available tonight.”

Customer: “Why is the hotel so heavily booked?”

I point at the calendar on the counter, which shows it’s the last few days of the local year.

Customer: “Wait. Why does this say the year is 2568?”

Me: “That’s the Buddhist calendar, ma’am. In Thailand, it’s 2568 BE, or Buddhist Era.”

Customer: “That’s… weird.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Anyway, Songkran starts tomorrow.”

Customer: “What’s Songkran?”

Me: “Thai New Year. It’s a big part of the Buddhist calendar.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really follow the numbers part. I’m more about the philosophy.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

A moment of silence.

Customer: “You know… maybe the negative energy is the city.”

Me: “Possibly, ma’am.”

Customer: “Fine, I’ll stay in the suite. I’ll cleanse it with incense.”

Me: “Of course.”

She leaves.

Coworker: *In Thai.* “Is my English getting worse, or did she fly all the way to Bangkok, claim to be Buddhist, but have no idea that she’s visiting during Songkran?”

Me: *In Thai.* “I’m surprised she didn’t notice that the room prices are double what they normally are.”

Coworker: *Looks at her customer details on my screen.* “Oh, she’s from California. Buddhists from there can be Buddhists because they have all the money to do yoga in the daytime at expensive gyms and drink $20 jasmine teas. She can afford to stay here.”

We both smile (a little pained smile) at each other and go back to checking guests in, most of whom know they’re here for Songkran and didn’t try to claim our room’s auras were evil.