Not Quite Married To The Name Yet

| NB, Canada | Right | February 25, 2015

(At the hotel where I work we keep our customer’s personal information on file so that they don’t have to repeat it every time they stay.)

Customer: “I’d like to reserve a room for tonight, a double room, and my name is [Customer]. You should have my information on file already.”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. Let me see… I don’t seem to have anything under that name. Is this the name you used last time you stayed with us?”

Customer: “Of course! It’s my name; I always use it. What other name would I use?”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just that we save the information by name and sometimes a client gives their name when the room was last booked under their spouse’s or parent’s name. Let me try a different spelling. Hmmm, still nothing. Did you stay here recently, as in within the last 12 months?”

Customer: “It’s been less than that. I was here not long ago! How hard can it be to find my information? My name is [Customer].”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t have anything here. In any case I’d be happy to reserve this room for you if you can just give me a telephone number and credit card…”

Customer: “Absolutely not! You have my information and I’m not giving you anything! When I arrive later I expect to have my room ready with my personal information attached. My name is [Customer] and that is all you need. You must obviously be new here.”

Me: “Actually, I’ve been here for two years, ma’am. Unfortunately I do not have access to your profile. I have nothing under the name you provided me, and I’ve even checked various spellings of the name. Are you certain you were here less than 12 months ago? Our system deletes profiles that haven’t been used for 12 months.”

Customer: “I WAS JUST THERE! You are incompetent. I expect you to have my room ready when I arrive and be sure that I will be contacting your manager to have you retrained on how to use your system.” *hangs up*

(Later, the customer comes in to check in and is furious that I still do not have her information on file. After reluctantly giving me at least her credit card number, I get her checked in and provide her with her room keys. As she’s walking away:)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know if it makes a difference but every other time we’ve stayed here we booked under my husband’s name, [Completely Different Name]. Can you find it if you look for that name? I mean, we were just here on [gives a date over three years ago]. You should have it.”

Me: *trying not to bang my head on the desk* “I’ll take a look in the system, ma’am. Have a nice evening.”

Customer: “I will when you learn to navigate your own computer system.”

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The Query Bears Fruit

| Bansha, Ireland | Friendly | February 23, 2015

(I am at a wedding, and the reception is held in an old mansion that is converted to a hotel/guest house. A few of us walk around and I see a sign directing to the old orangery.)

Me: “I wonder what an orangery is.”

Friend: “It’s where you grow oranges.”

Me: “…Well, I feel stupid now.”

The Hot Tub Is Alive!

| CA, USA | Working | February 19, 2015

(It is early morning when a guest calls the front desk.)

Guest: “Hey there. I was wondering if I could use the hot tub?”

Me: “Well, it’s on a timer. I’ll have to get it started manually… IGOR!!”

‘Igor’: “Yesh, marshter?”

Me: “Activate… the steam converter!”

‘Igor’: “Ooh… Yesh… right away! Hee hee hee…”

Me: “Okay, sir, just give it a minute or two to warm up, and it’ll be ready.”

Guest: “Great! Just so we’re clear… that was you doing both voices, right?”

Me: “Yeah, I try to make things a little more fun around here.”

Guest: “Awesome! Thank you!”

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Bellowing, Not Belling

| MN, USA | Right | February 17, 2015

(I work at the front desk of a large resort in a small town. This is late at night so I am in the back room working on some nightly tasks. I have set the bell out on the counter in case a guest comes and I don’t see them.)

Guest: “HELLOOO!”

Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

Guest: “I just want to get checked in! I have been waiting here for five minutes!”

Me: “Oh, I am very sorry about that! Can I just get your last—”

Guest: “I demand to speak to a manager about having to wait! That is ridiculous!”

(I call the night manager up from helping another guest.)

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Guest: “This girl kept me waiting out here for five minutes before helping me!”

Manager: *to me* “Is this true?”

Guest: “Yes, it’s true! She didn’t even notice me!”

Manager: “And you tried ringing the bell?”

Guest: “Well, of course not!”

Manager: “May I ask why not?”

Guest: “Well, that would have been rude!”

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Guest Employee Of The Month

| England, UK | Working | February 5, 2015

(My place of work hires a new assistant manager. Only recently, my manager has asked him to take over doing the employee rotas, as part of his job description. For ease, these are emailed to us so we know what we’re working ASAP.)

Coworker: “[My Name], have you seen this?”

Me: “Seen what?”

(My coworker points to an email he’s printed out for us. I go to read.)

Email: “Hi, [Workplace]. Sorry to bother you, but as I live elsewhere, I’m afraid I won’t be able to work your hotel rota over these two weeks. However, I am staying with you guys shortly!”

Me: “Huh?”

Coworker: “Look at the name.”

(I do, only to discover that the email detailing our rotas for the next two weeks was sent not to me, but to a prospective guest with a similar name. Seriously!)

 

 

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