CONTENT WARNING: Death

I was working in a hotel when a murder happened in one of the rooms. It was a well-reputed hotel that had mostly a corporate clientele. Of course, the guests disturbed by the events and the police presence during the night were compensated; after all, they were there to sleep after and/or before a day working and were kept from that.

But what made me lose all hope in humanity were all the people with reservations in the following weeks who called and made the same request.

Guest: “I have a reservation there on [future date]. I was wondering if I could get a discount because of the murder that just happened there?”

Their reservations were in no way impacted by the events; they basically wanted a discount because a young woman was killed in her room. The incident had nothing to do with the hotel; we were just the establishment where they decided to meet that day.

Of course, no discounts were given to those who weren’t in the hotel when the events happened, but three years later, it still makes my blood boil that people would use someone’s death to save money.

I was a front desk manager at my hotel. To make a very long story short, some guests were caught using fraudulent credit cards — among other things, apparently, though the cards were what I knew about for sure — and were intercepted trying to leave the hotel by police. (It was a LOT of stolen cards.)

I was relieved to see them go, as they had been a pain in my rear because we wouldn’t allow them to order from the restaurant when their card was declined, and they claimed we were discriminating against them for being a same-sex couple. (Half of the front desk staff was part of the LGBT+ community.) It was a whole production getting them finally caught, but the most ridiculous part to me was the woman who stormed up to the desk as the men were being questioned outside.

Guest: *In the most offended tone you can imagine* “Ex-cuse me! Could someone explain to me why there are people getting arrested outside this hotel?”

I was already fried from dealing with the couple so, admittedly, my response was somewhat less than tactful.

Me: “…I’m sorry, ma’am, would you prefer they hadn’t been caught?”

Luckily, she just huffed and stomped off, apparently not having a response to that. Sorry, people, there’s no criminal repellent we can spray to keep every single shady guest away. We can only do something about them once they’re here!

Bonus post-script: the couple that was arrested had the gall to post a negative review online, in which they claimed that the hotel had called the police on them with absolutely no evidence and that they had been released without charges because they had done nothing wrong. (We didn’t even call the police; the owner of one of the stolen cards did.)

The next day, there was a news spot aired about how the couple had, in fact, been charged with a rather extensive list of crimes.

An American hotel guest comes up to me at our buffet restaurant.

Customer: “I want to speak to a manager about the eggs in your buffet! They’re rotten!”

Me: “Ma’am, those are pickled onions.”

Customer: “I don’t care what kind of bird laid them, they’re gross!”

Related:
Putting Themselves Into A Bit Of A Pickle, Part 2
Putting Themselves Into A Bit Of A Pickle

It was a slow night at the hotel, and I answered the phone.

Caller: “How much are your rooms?”

Me: “It’s [total] after tax, and there’s a $100 deposit we put on your credit card for incidentals.”

Caller: “Since when have you been doing a deposit?”

Me: “Uh, the $100 deposit has been since August or September. Before that, we were doing a $50 deposit for about a year.”

Caller: “Well, I’ve never paid any deposit there.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: “I’ve stayed there a bunch of times in the last year. No one asked me for a deposit.”

Me: “Okay.”

I guess at this point he expected me to say, “Well, gee whiz, complete stranger on the other end of the line, I guess because you say so, I don’t have to charge a deposit.”

Caller: “I was just there twice last month, and no one said anything about a deposit!”

Me: “Well, I guess no one was doing their job, then.”

He hung up before I could say anything else which might be attributable to the obvious sarcasm in my voice when I made the last statement. There are folks who we waive the deposit for, but most of them are contractors who pay a set rate or people who have been coming to the hotel forever and would have led the conversation by telling me who they were or addressed me by name when I answered the phone.

It just felt like a variation of the people who say things like, “I stayed in every hotel in the known universe last night and none of them asked for a credit card and they all let me pay with pocket lint.”

I’m a valet at a fancy hotel that isn’t too far from a very famous theme park. A woman pulls up in a big SUV and gets out. She has two toddler-aged children in the car.

Guest: “I’m checking in, but I need to leave straight after. Watch the car and the kids for me.”

She’s about to march straight into the hotel when I have to stop her.

Me: “Ma’am, please bring your children with you when you check in. I can keep your car here by the side of the drive-up if you need to head straight back out, but you can’t leave your children with me.”

Guest: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m a complete stranger. What makes you think I can just watch your kids?”

Guest: “You work for the hotel! Plus, you look trustworthy!”

Me: “What makes me look trustworthy?”

Guest: “Well… you’re…” *whispers* “…white.”

Me: “So was every serial killer that Netflix has made a special about in the last ten years, but thanks for showing your racism, ma’am. I will not be watching your children for you; this is not a service the hotel valet provides. Please look after them yourself or find professional childcare facilities. Good day.”