Her Sanity Is Under Construction

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | June 17, 2015

(I am working as a front desk supervisor and have checked a very sweet, older lady into a very specific room type; she wanted as high as possible, facing the Space Needle. A few minutes after she went upstairs she returned to the desk.)

Customer: “I LOVE the room!”

Me: “Great! I’m so glad you like it!”

Customer: “But…”

Me: *in my head* “Oh, no. Here it comes.”

Customer: “There’s a crane in my view.”

(Seattle at this point had (and still has) a ton of construction going on. About halfway between the hotel and the Needle there is condo construction, and indeed, a crane, but the lady is 46 floors up so it is not blocking the Needle at all.)

Me: “Yes, Seattle does have a good bit of construction now. I can certainly move you to a different view with no cranes.”

Customer: *still being very sweet and cheerful* “Oh, no, honey. I don’t want to change rooms. I LOVE my room. I want the crane to be moved.”

Me: “Um… ma’am you realize that would cost millions in late deadlines, loss of pay for workers, cost to move it and then put it back…”

Customer: *again, still super nice* “Oh, I know, honey. Money is no object! I just want a pretty view!”

(At this point I started to look for cameras, thinking I was being pranked. I excused myself and went to tell my Director of Rooms the situation. He thought I must be joking at first too, but then he went out to speak with the lady. She was just as nice and happy with him, but was just certain we would get this crane moved for her. My director finally got her a list of phone numbers for the city, the construction crew, and the people that own the building. He told her that since they would probably want to talk money, it would be better it she spoke with them herself. She happily took the list, thanked us, and left. The crane never moved.)

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Good Matt Hunting

| Denver, CO, USA | Right | June 16, 2015

Coworker: *to woman who has walked through the door* “Hi there! What can I do for you!”

Woman: “I’m looking for Matt Damon’s room.”

Coworker: *checks computer* “I don’t have anyone under that name… Did you mean the movie star, Matt Damon?”

Woman: “Yes!”

(We are a nice hotel, but not THAT nice.)

Coworker: “I’m pretty sure he’s not here.”

Woman: “But he’s picking me up here! I’m going to call him!”

Coworker: “O… kay.”

(She lets her stay on the couch for a half hour to wait for Matt Damon. A little bit after we switch out, the woman comes back to the front desk.)

Woman: “I’m going to go wait out front for him!”

(She then wandered out the door and into the busy parking lot, and walked aimlessly out into the neighborhood.)

Sleep Talking And Flying And Mailing

| Fiji | Related | June 14, 2015

(Although we live in the US, we have decided to travel to Fiji for a 14-day trip over the summer. I am about 12, and my 50-something-year-old father, and my 79-year-old grandmother are with me. By the time we reach our resort, we’ve spent about 24 hours traveling. My grandmother instantly falls asleep, while I’m reading in the next bed over.)

Dad: *walks in from his room* “Would you like to get a snack?”

Grandma: *sits up and opens her eyes* “Aren’t you going to get the mail?”

Dad & Me: “We’re in Fiji.”

Grandma: “I know, aren’t you getting the mail?”

Dad: “Mom, we’re in Fiji.”

Grandma: “Aren’t we having it forwarded?”

(Soon, she goes to the bathroom and comes back with no recollection of the conversation. Dad later confesses he thought she had a stroke. A couple years later in Hawaii my grandma and I are sharing a room. I’m listening to music and reading while she naps. Suddenly sits up and says something to me, eyes wide open.)

Me: *takes out earbuds* “I didn’t hear you, sorry. What did you say?”

Grandma: “Where’s the pudding?” *we don’t have any pudding, nor is she particularly fond of it*

Me: “We don’t have any pudding.”

Grandma: “I want my pudding!”

(She rolled right over and fell asleep. She didn’t remember that conversation either, and refuses to believe she talks in her sleep!)

Plenty Of Room For Him To Make A Mistake

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Right | June 13, 2015

(I’m working the graveyard shift at a hotel. I am a 22-year-old female. This happens just as I have stepped outside to have a cigarette around 2 am. The man is a 40ish year old who is almost twice my size. He pulls up in a sporty little car.)

Drunk Male: “Ya got any rooms tonight, sweetheart?”

Me: “I’m afraid the hotel is sold out tonight, sir.”

Drunk Male: “Well, throw someone out. I’m a diamond member and you have to give me a room.”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m not throwing anyone out. There’s lodging elsewhere.”

Drunk Male: “The customer is always right, and I’m the customer and I say throw someone out! I want a room.”

(This goes on for a little bit before he gets out of his car. He gets right in my face while towering over me.)

Drunk Male: *jabbing at me, then pulling back a fist like he’s going to hit me* “Look here. I said get me a room!”

Me: “If you’re going to swing at me, you’ve got one chance to connect, then I am going to introduce you to a whole new world of pain before the cops get here.”

(The drunk male pulled his arm back. I just smiled. He looked worried, then got in his car and peeled out. Best part, he cut off a cop on the way out of the lot, so I got to watch him get arrested, his car towed, and my faith in karma restored.)

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Acting Stupido

| Dahlgren, VA, USA | Right | June 12, 2015

Guest: “Oh, Marla is a pretty name; but it doesn’t sound very Italian.”

Me: “Why would I have an Italian name?”

Guest: “You’re Italian, right? I mean, you look Italian.”

Me: “Nope, not Italian. Mom’s Mexican and Dad is White.”

Guest: “So, you’re kinda Italian?”

Me: “Nope. Not kinda. Not at all.”

Guest: “Well, you should be. You would be a pretty Italian.”

Me: *smiles and hands them their key* “So, since I’m not Italian, I am ugly?”

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