Roll On The Wrong Floor Laughing

| London, England, UK | Related | December 28, 2015

(We are staying in a hotel for a night then boarding a plane. Mum comes through the door from the stairs.)

Mum: “I feel really bad.”

Me: “Why?”

Mum: “I got into a lift with a family, pressed our floor number, saw they were going down and not up and quickly got out again. But when I got out I saw that they were going up to my floor number. They’re probably cursing me right now.”

A Platter Of Misunderstandings

| Canada | Right | December 27, 2015

(It is a very busy morning at our hotel as all of our conference rooms have been booked for meetings. The night before, my employee called me asking if it was still possible to place a catering order for one of the meetings. He said the gentlemen in charge is there to set up the room and realized he hadn’t requested it sooner. I had him put the customer on and I informed him that we could only arrange for a simple dessert platter or soup-and-sandwich menu at this short of notice, and he decided on a dessert platter and two large pitchers of coffee. The next morning I greet him as he comes in.)

Me: “Good morning! So, just to confirm, you wanted the dessert platter and coffee served at 9 am, is that correct?”

Customer #1: “Excellent! Thank you.”

(I go back to the front desk and people start arriving. Around 8:30 a gentlemen approaches the desk.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, I’m in [same meeting as the first customer] and I’m wondering if we could get the bill for the room in advance. I’m going to prepare a check and drop it off when we step out for lunch.”

Me: “Absolutely. I’ve got everything ready right here. I just need a moment to print it out.”

(I print it and hand it off and he thanks me. A moment later he returns.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, why are we being charged $24.95 for food and beverage services?”

Me: “Oh! That’s for the dessert platter and the coffee that you ordered from [Local Catering Company].”

Customer #2: “What dessert and coffee? I didn’t order anything from [Catering Company].”

Me: “The gentlemen in charge of the meeting ordered it last night.”

Customer #2: “I’M in charge of this meeting and I didn’t order anything! Who did you speak with?”

Me: “Umm… I spoke with [Customer #1], that gentlemen standing over there. He came in last night to do the set-up and we spoke over the phone. I also confirmed it with him this morning; I confirmed that he wanted it for 9 am.”

Customer #2: “I have no idea where you’re getting this from. We did not order anything. I am in charge of the finances and the decisions. How dare you allow someone to go over my head!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, sir, but he was the one who booked the room and he is the one with whom I’ve had all communications. I didn’t even know you existed before this morning so I had no way of knowing you were in charge.”

Customer #2: “Well, okay, that is understandable but I do need this taken off the bill, please.”

Me: “Well, the food has just been delivered and paid for maybe 10 minutes ago. It’s non-refundable so we would be taking a financial loss here. Are you certain you don’t want to take it? At a discounted price maybe?”

Customer #2: “I said, TAKE. IT. OFF.”

Me: “Yes, sir. I’m terribly sorry for the mix up.”

(I remove it from his bill and proceed to call the local soup kitchen to tell them we have a donation for them. They come by to pick it up and are very grateful. Around 9:45, the meeting let’s out for a break and about a dozen people flood into our breakfast room. I figure they are going to watch the television and since breakfast is over I don’t mind letting them mingle. Then I hear the familiar sound of our cupboard doors opening and closing and the coffee machine running. I go in to see all 12 people eating muffins and drinking coffee. A few even have yogurts from the fridge. I take a count and prepare a bill and when the group lets out for lunch I present it to Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “What is this? What am I paying $42 for food and beverages for?! I thought we discussed this already!”

Me: “This is a bill for the coffee, muffins, and yogurt your guests took from our breakfast room. Those items are only free to hotels guests and only during breakfast hours. It’s $1.50 per coffee for 12 coffees, $1.35 per muffin at 12 muffins, and $1.50 per yogurt for five yogurts.”

Customer #2: “I don’t understand. It was under $30 a couple hours ago…”

Me: “Yes, for the dessert platter and coffee provided by [Catering Company]. They charge a flat fee which we are not charging you for. Those muffins and coffees come from our personal supply. We charge per item whereas the catering company charges a flat rate.”

Customer #2: “Well, give me the catering platter and stuff, then!”

Me: “Even if I could you would just end up paying for both.”

Customer #2: “I should have kept my big mouth shut.”

(He pulled out his checkbook and cut a check for the food and I later heard him yelling at his guests to “not touch the bloody food!”)

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They Already Checked Out Last Night

| CO, USA | Right | December 25, 2015

Guest: “Hi there. I would like to check out.”

Me: “I can do that for you. Did you enjoy your stay?”

Guest: “Yes, I love Colorado!”

Me: “I’m happy to hear that; I hope you come back soon.”

Guest: “Oh, I will! Here is my room key and what I couldn’t finish.” *smiles*

(He hands me his key, I feel a small bag under it.)

Guest: “Have a green Christmas!”

(I didn’t even need to look to see what it was. Only in Colorado will you get a check out with pot at four am.)

Christmas Time, Mistletoe And Overtime, Part 2

| New Zealand | Right | December 19, 2015

Guest: “Oh, look at you, poor thing stuck on here Christmas Day.”

Me: “Oh, it’s not so bad. I’ll be finished by three pm so I can still have Christmas dinner.”

Guest: “Now that’s just terrible! How could they do that to their staff!?”

Me: “Well, not having me would certainly make checking in a lot harder now wouldn’t it?”

(She looks at me and her eyes widen.)

Guest: *head down* “I didn’t think of that.”

Weeding Out The Bad Guests

| USA | Right | December 15, 2015

(It is about two in the morning when I get a call from one of the rooms.)

Guest: “Excuse me, but I smell WEED! Someone’s smoking!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. We are a non smoking hotel.”

Guest: *shrilly* “That’s it? Aren’t you going to go and catch the person who’s doing it? It’s illegal here, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes it is, but it’s two in the morning and there’s no one here but me. I can’t leave the front desk and go about sniffing for who has done it.”

Guest: “Well, I never! This is unacceptable that you would support illegal practices here!”

Me: “We do not and the only thing I can do is apologize and offer to change your room.”

Guest: “I’m not moving. What else can you do? Surely there’s something?”

Me: “Like I said, I cannot figure out who is smoking, and everything will have to be done in the morning when the housekeepers are here so we can find out who is smoking in this non-smoking hotel.”

Guest: “So you can’t do anything about this?!”

Me: “No, I can’t.”

Guest: *begins screaming, and then finally hangs up*

(She called three times after that, ranting and raving, before finally going to sleep, I guess. I don’t smoke, so I don’t know if she was telling the truth or not. I leave a note for the managers about it, and the next day, I arrive for my shift and the manager is there.)

Me: “Did housekeepers ever find out which room was smoking?”

Manager: “Yes. Hers. Turns out her teen son was doing it in his room. She went ballistic at US instead of him… We threw them out and called the police.”

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