Tax Mex

| NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Money

(I am driving two guests to a convenience store and they are talking about Mexico and taxes.)

Guest #1: *to Guest #2* “Do they even have taxes in Mexico? Don’t they just pay cash for everything?”

Driving A Hard Bargain

| Chennai, India | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am standing in line at the travel desk of a very nice hotel in Chennai. Just ahead of me is a guest with an accent from somewhere in Britain, but I cannot place it. He is being very abusive toward the young man at the desk.)

Guest: “I’m not paying your rates for a car. I’m going to hire an auto outside the hotel. You people are thieves”

Desk Clerk: “Certainly, sir, but how may I help you?”

Guest: “Write this address down. Write it down in Hindi. I’ll hand it to a driver. I’m not paying you.”

Desk Clerk: “Yes, sir.”

(I watch him write down the address from English to Hindi.)

Me: “I must compliment you. He was very rude and you handled it well.”

Desk Clerk: “Just doing my job, sir. Thank you.”

Me: “You did just what he asked…”

Desk Clerk: *looks up smiling slightly*

Me:“You wrote it down in Hindi. The local language is Tamil… and what are his chances of finding a literate ‘auto’ driver out there, anyway?”

Desk Clerk: *smiling broadly* “You have been here before, sir!”

Biting The Hand That Fees You

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. I want to know if my fee has been waived.”

Me: “Your fee?”

Customer: “Yes, my parking fee. I always stay here and you all always waive it for me.”

Me: “Okay…” *checks computer* “No, your fee is still there.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! The check-in guy told me that he would waive it! I want a manager!”

Me: “Okay, then…”

(I get a manager and explain the situation. We review the customer’s past stays. So far he has only stayed here four times in the past year. They speak.)

Manager: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. I need my fee waived! You always do it for me so I should get it!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but if you have parked in the garage—”

Customer: “I’ve seen you all waive it for others! Why not for me? That’s not fair!”

Manager: “Well, what about those that have paid?”

Customer: “What about them?”

Manager: “It’s unfair to them that they should pay and you don’t.”

Customer: “I don’t care! As a manager, you should use your initiative and do as I say!”

Manager: “Sir—”

Customer: *slaps fist on counter* “As a manager, you should do what I want! Always! The customer is always right!”

(They argue a lot, with the customer interrupting my manager’s every two words with repeats of, ‘as a manager…’ Finally, seeing that my manager won’t be bullied, he storms off, swearing that he would talk to the general manager later. My manager replies he is free to, and drops his smile when the customer leaves.)

Manager: “Jerk!”

(Reason number one million why I would never like to be a manager!)