I work in a hotel. Today, while I was doing my pre-arrival planning for the day on my morning shift, I noticed a very particular name on my check-in list: Marivel Smith. That’s not her real name, obviously, but you get the gist: Spanish first name, aggressively WASP surname. And she was on my Do Not Rent list.

Shortly before I started working at the front desk, Ms. Smith was put on the DNR list for “harassing the staff” — a grievous charge from our old management, who were kinda wimps about that stuff.

Wanting to avoid an issue, I called her and confirmed that she was the Marivel Smith who had stayed with us before. And then I told her that she was not allowed at our hotel, that she was on our Do Not Rent list, and that I’d be canceling her reservation for no penalty or charge, but she was not going to be staying at our property.

She did not like that.

Ms. Smith: “What do you mean, you can’t rent to me?”

I sighed, trying to project an image of “Just doing my job, ma’am.”

Me: “I mean, you’re on our Do Not Rent list. So, we will not be renting to you in the future, or today.”

Ms. Smith: “Why?”

Me: “On the list, your entry says that you harassed the staff—”

Ms. Smith: “That is ridiculous! That’s a lie! I’m calling corporate. I have never— I have never behaved that way! I have always been a model guest, I’ve always cleaned up after myself, and I have never harassed anyone at your hotel! That is a lie!“

Deep breath. Don’t get into a fight. Pretend you’re not shaking like a leaf.

Me: “Well, be that as it may, unfortunately, I cannot and will not rent this room to you — nor any future room unless cleared by our management. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

Ms. Smith: “Oh, you’re gonna— Who are you? Are you the general manager?”

Me: “No.”

Ms. Smith: “Are you the front desk manager?”

Me: “I am the manager on duty.”

That’s technically the truth. Whoever’s working the front desk is the manager on duty if the general manager and assistant general manager are away.

Ms. Smith: *Sarcastically* “Mmhm. You’re the manager on duty. Well, when the real managers are there, I want a call.”

Me: “Certainly, you can feel free to reach out to them on Monday when they’re here.”

Ms. Smith: *Seeming triumphant* “Actually, no! I’ll just reach out to [Hotel Chain] corporate and see what they think.”

I fiddled with my keychain and shook my head at a woman who couldn’t see me.

Me: “You’re more than welcome to do so, ma’am, but they’re going to punt it down to us and give you whatever answer we give them. Your best bet will be to reach out to our general manager on Monday.”

While I was talking, I went and canceled her reservation in our system.

Ms. Smith: “This is insane. This is ridiculous. Harrass— I have never harassed anyone at your hotel! I am a [Hotel Chain] member! You can’t ban members!”

Actually, most of the people on our DNR list are members.

I gave my night auditor — who was lingering while he waited for his ride home — a despairing look before I continued with Marivel.

Me: “Look, Ms. Smith, I’m sorry. But the fact of the matter is that I’ve already canceled it, and you don’t have a room here. If you show up here, you’ll be removed by police. You’re more than welcome to call our general manager on Monday, but I cannot guarantee that your status will change. Have a lovely day.”

Ms. Smith: “You little—”

I hung up and looked at my night auditor.

And the b*****d laughed at me and did an exaggerated hand-shake-motion.

Night Auditor: “Guess who I am?”

Me: “Shut up.”

He laughed at me and went back into our office, where he kicked his feet up and sat on the Good Chair before I could get there — probably the worst part of my day so far.

I told my manager what had happened, and his response was to text me a thumbs-up emoji, so I feel pretty good, but wow, that was a great way to start my day.

As I wrote this, another guest just came to my desk and gave me a handful of Werther’s Originals because I “looked stressed”. This is my best day at work ever.

Related:
No Means No, And No More Friends For You
No Means No Means ABSOLUTELY THE F*** NOT
No Means No, Even When You’re Three
No Means No (And No Beer)
No Means No Means No Means No Means…

My brother traveled to England a few years ago. The night he arrived at his hotel, he took an Ambien and washed it down with a glass of whiskey. He got in bed and promptly fell asleep.

He woke up around 3:00 am standing naked in the hallway outside of his room. He had to go down to the front desk.

He was mortified, but the night audit worker didn’t miss a beat. He handed my brother a towel, asked a few questions to confirm his identity, and made him a new key.

My brother got the impression that this was not the first time the worker had dealt with this.

I work at a motel along a stream with all rooms having a balcony. At 11:05 PM, I get a call from a guest:

Guest: “When do you turn off the water? That noise is aggravating.”

Customer: “I want a room on [date].”

Me: “I’m afraid we’re fully booked for that date.”

Customer: *Gobsmacked.* “What? Why?”

Me: “That’s the same day as [Big Event].”

Customer: “Yes, I want to go to that, but why are you sold out?”

Me: “We’re sold out because everyone had the same idea as you but sooner.”

I am starting my shift as a night auditor at my hotel in downtown Chicago. About half an hour into my shift, I get a call from a panicked-sounding woman.

Caller: “Hi! I know this isn’t your usual request, but my son and his friend have finished attending an event downtown, and their ride has let them down last minute! Home is [Town too far away to walk], and I’m not in a position where I can come and get them. They just missed the last train out!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. I think I understand. But please try to talk slower and take a breath so I can follow along.”

Caller: “Yes! Sorry! I’ve checked every hotel website I can think of, but every room is booked due to [Event], even yours!”

Me: “Yes, that is the case, I’m afraid.”

Caller: “Please, please, please, can they sit in your lobby? Just until the first buses run? I can’t stand the thought of them wandering the streets in the dark and cold all night!”

Morally, I can’t let a child be sat outside in the cold in an unfamiliar city; it’s dangerous, and if anything happened, I’d never forgive myself. So, against all of my hotel rules:

Me: “Send them over, ma’am. They’re welcome to sit in the lobby in the warm.”

Caller: “Oh, my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! They’re just around the corner! There are two of them, and his name is [Son]. Thank you! You’re a lifesaver!”

I let the teens sit in the lobby, and they were the nicest and politest guests I had had all day! They even insisted on helping me clean and set up the morning coffee. We had great conversations until 5:00 am when the first buses ran. 

I’m now friends with [Son] on Facebook, and he just started college this year!