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Alarmingly Good Service

| GA, USA | Awesome Workers, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(It is two am at a budget hotel next to a busy interstate. I’ve just booked a tired lady into a room, ensuring that she and her car were near the lobby so that I could keep an eye on a lone woman as she entered the building.)

Me: “Would you like for me to set a wake up alarm for the morning? I can set two, if you’re afraid you’ll go back to sleep.”

Guest: “That would be great. 8:30?”

Me: “Sure! And we serve breakfast and coffee here in the lobby until 9:30. You also have a coffeemaker in your room, if you don’t want to face the world without caffeine. Would you like an extra coffee pod for in-room?”

Guest: “You’re doing this all wrong.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: *with a very tired smile* “I just phoned my husband, telling him where I was, and complaining about dealing with a surly, clueless night clerk. And here you are, being pleasant and helpful; you’re doing this all wrong!”

Me: “I apologize. I’ll be abrasive next time, when you aren’t so tired.”

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Gonna Party Like You’re In Room 1999

| USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(A young man dressed up like he’s going to a party checks in. After few moments, we get a few noise complaints about people talking loudly and yelling and playing music from his room. It’s one am and the hotel is sold out.)

Me: “Excuse me, but you can’t have this much people in your room. Plus, all your neighbors are complaining.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday!”

Me: “That’s nice, but we can’t have you disturbing others.”

(He nods, but the complaints keep coming.)

Me: “I’m serious; I will have you thrown out if you don’t let others get their sleep. If you want to party, go to a bar or club.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday! And all the bars are closed and the clubs are too far from here.”

Me: *fed up* “I don’t care. You must do as I ask or else.”

Young Man: “But it’s my birthday! Plus it was my friend being loud, not me.”

Me: “As payer, you are responsible for your friends.”

(He nodded but didn’t listen. Finally, I told security to throw him out. Too bad he had to be thrown out on his butt on the street on his birthday and out $250. Moral: hotels are not party houses.)

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Great Disorder

| Eilat, Israel | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(We are notified that a very difficult returning guest is expected, and to confirm her expected arrival to anyone who calls. After check-in she calls the switchboard.)

Guest: “Were there any calls for me?”

Me: “Yes, madam.”

Guest: “Are there any messages?”

Me: “No, madam.”

Guest: *commanding* “Why didn’t you tell them to leave a message?”

Me: *shocked* “Madam! I can’t order anyone to do anything!”

Guest: *pause* “Well… that’s true.”