Said With The Breast Of Intentions

| El Paso, TX, USA | Romantic | September 21, 2015

(I work front desk at a hotel and frequently have men come and talk to me trying to make conversation. This night I am wearing a bright orange shirt.)

Guest: “Wow I love that color on you… It really brings out your breasts.”

Me: “…Thank you?”

Losing Sleep Over It

| PA, USA | Related | September 16, 2015

(We’re on vacation. My youngest sister is throwing a tantrum and keeping everyone else awake because she wants to go back to the pool, so our sister puts on some Evanescence to try to drown her out.)

Song Lyrics: “Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping.”

Me: “I definitely know I’m not sleeping…”

Beam Me Up Some Common Sense

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | September 10, 2015

(I pick-up the incoming phone calls when my rooms coordinator is out to lunch.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?

Guest: “Is this lost and found?”

Me: “Yes. How may I help you?”

Guest: “Thank god! I left my laptop in my room yesterday when I checked out and I need it back!”

(I knew there was a laptop there that had been found the day before, and that, strangely, it had been left under the bed. After confirming the guest’s name, room number, and that it was really her laptop we had here, I start to explain to the guest that we could arrange for pick-up of the item by her or have it shipped via carrier.)

Guest: “Oh, no, you HAVE to ship it. I’m back in [Next Province Over] and I need it fast!”

Me: “Very well. If you give me your credit card information I can arrange for pick-up by [Carrier] later on today and have it sent express…”

Guest: “No, no, not later on today. I need it NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but even the fastest express delivery service is not going to be able to get it to you in much less than 24 hours.”

Guest: “But you don’t understand! I work at a radio station. All my work stuff is on my laptop and I’m going on the air in 40 minutes, which I CANNOT DO if I don’t have MY LAPTOP!”

Me: *wondering why then, if her laptop was SO vital to her, did she not notice it missing before now* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but until someone makes the Star Trek transporter a reality, the fastest we can get it to you is 24 hours!”

1 Thumbs

Failed At The Name Game

| Yakima, WA, USA | Right | September 9, 2015

Me: “Thank you for calling the Yakima Hotel. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to talk to the front desk of your Yakima, Washington location.”

Me: “Yes, this is the front desk. My name is [My Name].”

Caller: “Okay, I need you to transfer me to someone at the front desk.”

Me: “Yes, this is the front desk. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, okay. What’s your name?”

Me: “…”


Failed At The Name Game

Employees Who Have Spirit

| GA, USA | Right | September 8, 2015

(I am a hotel concierge, and a few customers are talking about the prices of late-night ghost tours of the city.)

Customer: “What’s the price of [Tour #1]?”

Me: “That one is [Expensive Price], and it’s inside an air-conditioned trolley that goes through most of downtown.”

Customer: “What’s the price of [Tour #2?]”

Me: “That one’s [Cheap Price], and it’s a walking tour inside of a graveyard. There’s also a tour in a modified hearse that’s [Cheaper Price], and it’s the most economical.”

Customer: “Well, what tour can I get for two dollars?”

(Most of the prices are over twenty dollars, and my mother has a strange way of dealing with customers that try to lowball the prices.)

Me: “For two dollars, I’ll take your family into the bathroom, turn off the lights, and go ‘WoooOOOooooOOO!’ like a ghost.”

1 Thumbs
Page 36/119First...3435363738...Last