His Logic Has Checked Out

| CO, USA | Right | August 29, 2015

(I am working at the front desk at about 10 pm. An older gentleman approaches.)

Me: “How can I help you? ”

Guest: “I want to check out now.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Why leaving so early?”

Guest: “Oh, I’m still going to be in the room till tomorrow morning.”

Me: “…Then I’m sorry, sir. I can’t check you out tonight, as our system would then tell us your room would be vacant.”

Guest: “But I want to check out now! Not tomorrow morning.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that. See, what room are you in?”

Guest: “Room 000.”

Me: “So, if I check you out now and another person comes in and wants a room, I can say ‘Sure! Room 000 is open.’ You understand?”

Guest: “But I don’t want to do it tomorrow! I want to check out now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you can’t check out until you’re leaving the hotel.”

Guest: “Well, I can see I’m getting nowhere.” *stomps off talking about how stupid I am*

Coworker: “Maybe we should send another guest to 000 and when he yells at us for THAT tell him we checked him out like he asked.”

Mis-sold On The Resume

| Maritimes, Canada | Working | August 28, 2015

(I am the front desk manager at a hotel. We have just hired a new girl who is really not working out. Despite having several years experience at a hotel, she seems completely clueless as to how the hotel industry operates. She also has zero computer skills and as such her training has taken at least twice as long as it normally should. After more than 3 weeks, we decide she is ready for her first shift alone. It’s a quiet night and I make sure she has all her notes as well as my cell number in case she needs to call me for help with anything. Before leaving we have the following discussion:)

Me: “So, we are currently at 75% occupancy. We need to get that up to 100% tonight, so make sure you rent out all the rooms. I don’t want to see any vacant rooms when I come in tomorrow morning. It shouldn’t be too hard; we get a lot of walk-ins this time of year. Just make sure you do whatever you have to in order to sell those rooms. Anybody who walks in looking for a rooms doesn’t leave without renting one. Got it?”

Employee: “Yup, no problem. I can guarantee with almost 100% certainty that every room will be sold tonight.”

Me: “Okay, great. Make sure you call me if there’s anything.”

(Later that evening, around midnight, I get a call from the night auditor who is normally very calm and subdued. Right now, though, he is frantic.)

Me: “What’s going on over there?”

Employee #2: “That idiot is going to run us out of business.”

Me: “Why? What happened?”

Employee #2: “You told her she had to do everything in her power to rent all the rooms so she did…to her family at $1 per room.”

Me: “What?! Are you f****** kidding me? How many rooms did she rent?”

Employee #2: “12 total. She’s got her entire family and all her friends here as we speak. She called them in right after you left and so we had, like, no rooms left to rent to walk-ins. She’s been turning customers away all night. They all paid a discounted rate of $1 because she said she had to get the rooms rented. Some of them are even occupying suites. She’s actually proud of herself for selling out the hotel tonight. She genuinely believes she is going to be praised and rewarded for this tomorrow.”

Me: “I can’t believe this. Do me a favor. Get the applications file from the cabinet and put it on my desk. I’m going to start looking for someone new first thing tomorrow.”

(Since the rooms went to her friends and family without proper authorization it was considered stealing. I confronted her the next day and informed her that her services were no longer needed and that she could come by for her pay check later that week. She genuinely could not understand why it wasn’t ok to rent those rooms at that price; I told her to sell them and she sold them. Lesson learned: always check references and never hire based solely on the resume.)

Suited To Handle This Case

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | August 24, 2015

(A well-known guest comes down to the front desk.)

Me: “Hi, [Guest], how are you doing?”

Guest: “Not good at all.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Guest: “I need to be moved to a new room.”

(The hotel is at 100% occupancy so there is no way I can move her.)

Me: “Why would you need to be moved? Is there something wrong with the room?”

Guest: “Very wrong! There is a loud vibrating throughout the whole room and I won’t be able to sleep tonight unless I move because it is so bothersome!”

Me: “How about I come take a look in your room to see what the problem is?”

(We go up to her room, and she wasn’t wrong. The whole room was making a loud vibrating sound and was pretty disruptive.)

Guest: “See how bad it is? Move me now, please!”

(I walk around the room and notice the sound is loudest over in the corner by her suitcase.)

Me: “It seems to be coming from the corner of the room. Maybe something is going on in the room next door?”

Guest: “I have no idea but it’s really annoying me!”

(I notice the vibration is coming from her suitcase and I start to get nervous thinking I am about to discover something I am not suppose to see.)

Me: “Miss, it seems to be coming from your suitcase. Is there anything in there that would be making this sound.”

Guest: *looking nervous* “Oh, um, I didn’t even think of it coming from my suitcase. Let me go look.”

(She went over to the suitcase, looking embarrassed, and I started to feel awkward. I felt like I should have left before I saw what she pulled out but she told me to stay. My suspicion ended up being right; she pulled a vibrator out of her suitcase and apologized for the hassle. Then she continued to talk to me about unrelated events while casually holding the vibrator.)

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Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 17

| USA | Right | August 22, 2015

Guest: *on phone* “Your Internet’s not working.”

Me: “Hmm, let me check… Yes, it is working. That means it’s your computer that has a problem.”

Guest: “My computer’s brand new! I VERY much doubt it has a problem.”

Me: “Well, how about you bring it down to the front desk and I could have a look and maybe make it work?”

Guest: “FINE!”

(She hangs up. She brings an old battered looking Mac model that I’m not familiar with.)

Guest: “I still believe it’s your Internet that’s not working, and you’re too ashamed to admit it.”

Me: “Ma’am, our Internet works fine! See?”

(I hold up my tablet, which has the Internet working fine on it.)

Guest: “Humph! Then why won’t it work on my computer! It’s my son’s and he said it was brand new!”

Me: “I don’t know…”

(After a while of poking around, I realize the wireless adapter is not turned on. I look for the switch or button but can’t find it. The lady finally calls her son to ask where it is and we finally get it working.)

Me: “There, see? It’s was just that the wireless was not turned on. Now it’s working fine…”

Guest: *red faced* “It was still your Internet that was the problem! I will complain!”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 16
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 15
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 14

Singularly Honest

| Folsom, CA, USA | Learning | August 20, 2015

(It is my ten year high school reunion. I am 28 and have never had a girlfriend or even been on a date. My former classmates and I are seated at round tables and are being dismissed to the buffet line after the M.C. asks a question about our lives and someone at our table has the best answer (i.e. who has the most kids, who got married the earliest, who moved the farthest away, etc.) I’m pretty hungry at this point and most of the tables have gotten to go get food.)

M.C.: “Okay, next question… Who has been single the longest?”

Me: *quickly raises hand*

M.C.: “Wow. Your hand just shot right up. You know what? I’m not going to make you embarrass yourself; your table can go.”

Me: *happily gets food*

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