Must Think They Were Dragonborn Yesterday

| NB, Canada | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “My name is warrior… and I’m lost.”

(Music plays in background, and the caller goes on about fighting and being lost.)

Me: “Can I have your name, sir?”

Caller: “My father was a paladin.”

(At this point my coworker took the headphones to listen in. It was a prank call, and at least it was entertaining.)

Direction Dissection

| USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

Guest: “I need directions.”

Me: “Okay. To where?”

Guest: “To [Address].”

(The address she was giving me was on the very same street our hotel is on, and I knew the place well.)

Me: “Oh, I know where that is. You just make a left from the hotel, and—”

Guest: *very seriously* “Don’t tell me what to do! I’m not your slave!”

Me: “Um… I never said you were.”

Guest: “Then don’t tell me what to DO, then!”

Me: “Um…okay.”

(Silently, I use directions from the Internet, print it up, and hand it over.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Guest: “Thanks!”

(I saw her a few minutes later, complaining to someone on her phone about ‘a piece of paper that’s telling her what to do.’)

Doctor’s Disorders

| USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

(It is around three in the morning when I take a phone call.)

Me: “Front desk.”

Guest: “Help! My husband is feeling very sick. He needs a doctor!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have any doctors in the hotel. Shall I call him an ambulance?”

Guest: *suspiciously* “And just where is this ‘ambulance’ going to take him?”

Me: “Um, to the hospital…”

Guest: “…”

Me: “…where there are doctors?”

Guest: “Oh. Okay, then.”